I'm struggling.
Maintaining momentum, motivation and just the desire to continue with this.
DIETING.
I've been on a diet, or yo-yoing 'on a diet' for over two thirds OF MY LIFE.
When, WHEN... do I say enough?
OR, when do I say, OK... it's worth it to keep fighting the battle?
With me, it's either:
A FEAST,
OR...
A FAMINE.
I struggle to maintain a healthy balance.
I am literally worn out with thinking about goddam food and exercise THE MINUTE I WAKE UP, until the MINUTE I FALL ASLEEP at night.
It dominates my life.
That is something I've tried not to do these past few months. But it still happened.
And I've stagnated in my weight loss the last couple of months. Up and down, up and down.
So yesterday afternoon I decided to do this:
ABOVE: Barricade the kitchen. And have a visual reminder why I want to keep on this path.
Even though it does my bloody head in.
Even though it DOES dominate my thoughts.
What if I actually succeed and get to my goals, and can stay there this time?
How amazing will I feel?
THAT is why I am going to try with the visual reminder. The barricade! The FUCKING CONES even!
Today, as far as I know, Lacy is coming over to clean some windows for me. Let's see if that happens shall we?
I will continue with the Glasses cases and Coin Purses. AND I might even make a start on a Duck Runner too.
I have decided to go to the Midday Weight Watchers meeting today. I want to clarify a couple of things with the WW Leader, and just bolster my resolve to continue doing this.
AND I'm going to start TRACKING what goes in my gob ... so I know exactly how much I am eating, and try to keep within my 'DAILY ALLOWANCE'.
Bloody hell, I might even end up following the goddam programme.
Anything that will help me move past this 'stagnation' is worth it.
2 pm: Well I went out this morning and bought a lovely notebook to track my food in. Then I went to the WW meeting. It went well, I enjoy the Friday meeting.
I talked to the WW leader about how to correctly red the barcode information when scanning foods.
Some are down right super high!
Excellent. I did warn her that there were A LOT of windows in there. 😂😅😉
She is getting grossed out by the number of dead flies/bugs there are in the bottom grooves. Ha ha, rather you than me Lacy.
I am now stitching tops to bottoms (Glasses Cases), and will be for the next couple of hours.
8.30 pm: Lacy did a good job of my windows, and then she vacuumed the house as well! Such a good couple of jobs done.
Stew got home from work and since then we've had a nice quiet evening.
I took a complete break from knitting/sewing this afternoon/evening.
I did a little doodling instead. I'll show ya what I did, tomorrow.
For now, it's relax, watch telly, keep warm and look forward to bedtime.
Catch ya tomorrow.
FROM...
I have no idea what today's WW program is like. I lost a ton of weight on it 20 years ago. But I could barely eat anything! I believe I was eating like 1200 calories a day. So - it was just not sustainable. I am in the same boat as you though. It is hard. It's not like quitting other bad habits like drinking or smoking - because we still HAVE to eat. My husband has asked me to lock the food up at night. He binges at nighttime. But, Of course, I am NOT going to do that. Perhaps I can do something like what you did. Not involving actual hardware!
ReplyDeleteIt becomes an obsession, it consumes you, causes anxiety, just down come down too hard on yourself. I have been there, I hate it, we can just do our best most of the time and not feel guilty or a failure if we stumble and fall sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI know next to nothing about WW, but wanted to comment about tracking. If you make yourself cards, for the meals you typically eat, then you can lay out your cards to plan meals, grocery shop, cook, eat. There is work in the beginning, but then easy. This means all the counting is in advance, meals are proactive/planned.
ReplyDeleteThe method I have always used is to try to keep my protein number and my carb number (for each meal and therefore the day) as even as I can. I have no idea if WW just focuses on the total number or if they teach people to balance. I think balance is key for a lot of people, particularly diabetics.
I also think eating at meal time (only) is very helpful. That could be 3-4 times a day.
The one thing I know about WW is their “free food concept”. I personally don’t agree with that. So I would encourage you, that if you are going to track to get your intake figured out, to count everything.
Vickie
I hear you Chris. You have done so well with your weight loss. Talking to your coach could motivate you further and tracking will help you balance your food groups. Looking forward to hearing how you go at WW and what you have decided to do that is the best for you.
ReplyDeleteYour struggle with food reminds me of my struggle with quitting smoking and after 30 years I did finally quit. It has been 23 years now since I've smoked. While trying to quit I ALWAYS talked myself into just having one. One is all I needed. That led to 2, then 3, then a half pack, then I was back to smoking a full pack a day. But I always talked myself into JUST that one....it never worked. Good luck to you. You are a strong woman and can do this!!
ReplyDeleteKy Girl
Hopefully you’re feeling better about your food choices Chris, you look very fit and healthy to me,
ReplyDeleteand the happiness and pleasure you get being with Stew and your families etc and your photography and craft work ,that’s a talent by the way ,
it has to be said we come in all shapes. And sizes , and our shapes change after 40 but positivity and happiness have no age barrier.
Please don’t beat yourself up about it,
Neat that Lacy was keen to walk with you yesterday and nice she is doing the windows
Love your energy Lacy 👍🎸🥝 even though there’s pesky flies ,,,and I’m sure Mum does too,🌸
Loving all the wee cases etc you’re doing there along with Bex
Home done is much nicer than mass production, imho 🛍️
Cheers 🥂
Hi good on you for thinking about the weight loss again and thinking of new ideas...it is so worth it for our health to be slimmer and in the weight range...you are looking good and healthy...like Dogstars said, we have to eat the live...it is hard..to cut down on something that we have to do which is eat...we don't need to smoke....you can ask the Dr about Ozempic or something like that to help the blood sugars and reduce appetite ....just a thought...Peta
ReplyDelete