Tuesday, October 27, 2020


Yesterday afternoon, once I arrived at the Motel; I spent almost 4 hours unpacking all my bags and repacking them.

Taking out anything that was old or just not needed ... like most of the clothes I brought over from NZ!  Plus some toiletries, a pair of old shoes and so on.

ABOVE:  Three bags full!  I hope that has made my bags the 'correct' weight now.
They certainly feel lighter.

Now as for today?  I need to go find food.  I've only eaten 2 cereal bars since I left Coffs Harbour. Probably need a decent brunch.

Then I am not sure what I will do.  I still don't feel like doing much.  But I am thinking of catching a taxi to some mall somewhere.


Well it looks like it's gunna be another 'cry my eyes out' day.

ABOVE:  My motel room overlooks part of the airport, and the Ambulance station.

I looked out this morning to see two ambulances, and immediately my thoughts returned to Mum's last vehicular ride.

It was from the house to Bellingen Hospital, in an ambulance identical to them.
That set off the tears again.

Lacy is having fun at Amanda's...

ABOVE: She keeps finding wood to make a fire with.  
Someone asked me about the little dog?
That is 'Lady', Amanda's CKC Spaniel.  Lady is about 8 years old I think.

10.04 am : And I decided to get out and about. So I got a taxi to Westfield Bondi Junction!  HUGE mall. It's  gunna take me a while to explore it all. Which is excellent.

ABOVE: It's not very busy.

12.56:  And well... the mall got busier.  And I explored every floor and alleyway.
Took me 3.5 hours.
I bought these items:

ABOVE: These two cute Christmas decorations (lightweight!) and...

ABOVE: This very soft and cute little soft toy.   I have a small lock of my Mum's hair that I am going to sew into this toy, then she will be going on my bed or headboard.  I'm going to call her CM.  Stands for Christina Maud.

What else did I get?  Just these:

ABOVE:  Food and drink to last me till Friday.
I don't care if I stay in this motel till then now.
I'm DONE shopping.
And wandering around on my own.

3.13 pm:  Just lying on my bed... thinking about how LONG two weeks is.

Not looking forward to those two weeks in Quarantine at all.  I feel like all I've done for the past 3 months is wait for time to pass.

- Time to get permission to go to Australia, and actually leave.
- Counting down the time in Quarantine in Sydney.

- Counting down to starting my journey home again.
- Right now, counting down to fly home.

And finally... that last countdown to get OUT OF QUARANTINE, once I'm in Auckland!

I hope I don't have to do any sort of friggin COUNTDOWN for a very long time to come!

I just finished yakking with Steve, Bex and the boys.  It made me dreadfully homesick.  I feel a million miles away from them all.
I dream of when Stew will wrap his arms around me again.  Nothing is gunna beat that feeling.  NOTHING.

6.36 pm:  And I've had a lovely chat with Stew and Brylee now ... so I can happily end this day.
Not much else is likely to happen here in me motel room, so catch ya tomorrow.

Monday, October 26, 2020


 Well, today is finally here.

I'm leaving Coffs Harbour.

Way, way sooner than I ever anticipated.

Mum just could not hang on for Christmas like she wanted.  But she gave it a good shot. The cancer was just to advanced, and too aggressive for her to fight.

I will be FOREVER thankful that I got three weeks with her.  She might not have been totally aware of me being with her in the last few days, but I know that she left this world deeply loved, and I held her in my arms as she left us.

It has been a special time.  Never to be forgotten.

I will come back here in a year to celebrate her 1st Anniversary, but next time I will have Stew with me. 

It's been VERY HARD not having his support (right beside me), but we have talked every day and he's been my support 'from afar'.  Same with most of my kids.

ABOVE:  This video shows the insects that fly out of the ground before it rains.
I thought at first they were butterflies.  NOT.
Then maybe moths?  NOT.
Seems they are flying ANTS!

So there ya go.  They only seem to be in the bush, I've not seen any in town.

My bags are all packed, I just have to brush me teeth, comb me hair and put that stuff in me bag and I'm ready to GO.
Ron is taking me out to the airport around 9.30 - 10 am.  My flight leaves at 11 am, and I get into Sydney around 12.20 pm.
Then I will catch a taxi to my motel and JUST RELAX.

So... I think this will be my final update until late this afternoon.
Catch ya later.

10.16 am : sitting at the airport... 20 minutes till boarding.  Got stung for excess weight with my bags. Grrrr.
But I can re-shuffle it once I'm in Sydney.  

It was hard leaving Ron... we both cried.  I'm hoping he will come over for a visit in a few months. Its a tentative plan right now.

1.44 pm:  And I'm safely in Sydney.  In my motel room.  Already sorting out my bags, trying to drop the weight a bit.
I'm going to throw out half me socks, knickers, and old clothes.
IN fact, over half the knickers don't fit me bum anymore!

I can't stop crying.  Leaving Coffs, with the knowledge that Mum is GONE, I can't visit her there ever again.  I can't ring her.  I got into this motel room and immediately thought:  "Better ring Mum and let her know I got here safely", then remembered.  She's gone.  So devastated.  How do you get over losing your MUM?

She's been my 'go to, must tell/ask' person, apart from Stew.  Now I don't have her at the end of the phone anymore.  It's going to take a LONG TIME to start getting over this loss.

ABOVE:  The next countdown.  4 nights here, then on Friday I fly home.

Right now all I want to do is curl up on the bed and do NOTHING.  Just cry, knowing no one can hear me and it's OK to cry now.  I've been holding it in for the most part.  

Helping Ron get through these last two weeks has been my priority.
My grieving could wait.

5.24 pm:  And I'm done for the day.  I've got a splitting headache, and am going to lie on the bed and just listen to some music.
Catch ya tomorrow.

Sunday, October 25, 2020


Well... here it is.

My last full day here in Coffs Harbour.

Tomorrow I leave for Sydney.

But for today.... I am hoping to pop down to the local Harbourside Market and pick up another dress.

But that will depend on the weather, cos if it's raining I doubt the stall holder will even be there.

Yesterday Stew worked on another 'project' at home.  

ABOVE: Our trailer used to sit half on a garden... bark etc.

ABOVE:  And now it sits over these pavers!  Hasn't Stew done a lovely job of this area?  I'm thrilled to bits.
It's to neat and tidy.

Stew sure is keeping our home spic and span.  

We are expecting Ron's daughter, Diane; for lunch today.  In fact, I think she's bringing lunch.  That will be nice.
I think Christina, the neighbour, is calling in today too.
So it might be a 'social' day.

I will also be packing my bags.  That won't take too much time, I'm basically just gunna throw it all in and worry about sorting it out properly once I'm in Sydney.

I'm pretty sure once I'm in Sydney I will be able to unwind a bit.
It has been very... strange in the house since Mum died.  It has felt 'wrong' being here when she isn't.
Don't know how that makes sense, but it's just a feeling I have.

Right, I shall get up and get myself sorted ready to go to the market.


9.46 am:  And no, the lady who sells the linen dresses wasn't there, so no more for me.
When/if we come back in a year's time I can probably get it then.
No hurry.

Now... I'm at the house again, all packed up except for what's on the clothes line and in the bathroom.  Just last minute things.

I'm literally drumming my fingers on the table.
The anticipation of actually starting the journey home is so palpable right now.

ABOVE:  That Kookaburra has had a right feast on the lawn today. Ron mowed the lawns and heaps of worms came up to the surface.  
Those birds must have amazing sight to spy them so easily.

ABOVE: Well Diane made us a really lovely lunch of a zucchini quiche and salad.

After lunch we sat and chatted for a couple of hours, then I went for a wander in the bush around the house.

ABOVE:  Have I shown you the Brush Turkey's 'nest' yet?
That is it!  Huge.  And he sits on the top and rakes more leaves on it.

It's cooling down now... we are expecting a storm.  I would be surprised if it arrived.

4.35 pm:  well no storm, but certainly lots of heavy drizzle.  Can't see the town at all from up here in the hills.

Maybe it will get heavier and 'stormy' later on?

So, for tonight's dinner we had chicken kebabs, salad and home made wedges.  Very yummy.
Now?  Time to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow... double check I've not forgotten anything and then... bed.
I'll probably toss and turn all night!

Saturday, October 24, 2020


 Today I am going to the Sawtell Family Market.

This is the one where I'm supposed to 'help' the Country Women's Association ladies on their stall!

I wonder what they will have me doing?

I'm sure I will get a chance to look around the market too.  Should be a nice day.

ABOVE:  A rain drop. Something so little, yet so pretty.

ABOVE:  Such a pretty view looking up the driveway.  And that Staghorn Fern on the tree?  Beautiful. There's lots of them around this property.

ABOVE:  Amanda and Lacy... waiting for one of the kids after school.  I can tell who's who.  Can YOU?

Seems Lacy has started a new 'thing'... wear high heels on Fridays.  And Amanda has to as well.  Twats.

Right, I better go... market awaits.


5.20 am : Seriously don't know if the market will be on now. We have thunder and lightening and heavy rain. 

7.18 am:  And the rain has eased up a bit, so I'm still going to the market. If it's a fizzer I will just come home again.

ABOVE:  Today I am wearing one of the new dresses I bought.  I love it, AND I found it has pockets!  So neat.

12.45 pm:  And well... the market was very small due to the weather.  Though while I was there it did not rain at all.
But lots of stall holders gave it a miss because it had been bucketing down all night!

Mum's friend, Christina, was there.

ABOVE: She kept her stall pared down in case it rained.  I had to get something of her's to bring home... and what better than this:

ABOVE:  It's a very sweet little zippered bag, might be perfect for an overnight toilet bag.  Or something like that.

I brought home some home cooked slices and cake for Ron.

I've just finished vacuming the house, so time to chill out for a while.
It's quite humid and still now.

2.24 pm:  Is it too soon to go to bed and cross off the 2nd to last night here?  

Oh and whose legs were whose?
Amanda on the Left, Lacy on the Right!  How do I know?
Only Lacy would have purple polish on her toes!  And she's wearing skank shoes!  😂😅😆

And dinner tonight was Chicken Pot Pie, mashed potato and veges.
Very nice dinner.

Now... bedtime soon.
Off to me room to watch a YouTube video or two, Ron is watching Aussy Rules Football... NOT my cuppa tea.

Friday, October 23, 2020


 I have nothing today.

Just counting down the days until I make a start on my journey home.

MONDAY.  Can't come soon enough really.

I just want to be home, getting life back to 'normal'.

THREE MORE SLEEPS HERE, then I'm officially on my way... I wish the days didn't drag so slowly.

Tomorrow will be a bit different though.

I will be going to the Sawtell Family Market, and helping out at the CWA stall.

Of course, I will no doubt get a chance to have a look around the market as well.  That should be nice.

Mum loved going to this market.

ABOVE:  Amanda and Lacy hitting the town yesterday.  I'm loving the blues.

So ME.

I bought a blue dress here, did I show you?  It's still a bit 'snug' over the boobage, but should fit good soon.

I'm losing weight people!  Not hand over fist, or lots of weight, but certainly a few kilos.

Feels good.

ABOVE:  Steve is on a 'soft' diet, to give his bowel a chance to recover.  Can you see how enthusiastically he's contemplating his dinner?  lol

Last night they gave him a piece of steak, rice and carrots.  Oh... and custard.  Sound just wonderful eh? 

He has his first infusion today!

If it goes well he might be allowed out of hospital tonight or tomorrow.  

ABOVE:  The little boys, taking advantage of their Dad not being in the bed.  I've no idea what they are playing with.

Right, I'm off to drag me sneakers on and go for a walk.  It's such a nice way to start the day.


12.22 pm:  I'm bored out of my brain.

I've been for a walk.

I've wandered around the garden.

Got garden photos.... cos I can.

ABOVE: I've been taking a photo of this tree fern for weeks.  It's new fronds are growing so big.

ABOVE:  The garden is SO GORGEOUS!

I have not been doing much this morning!  In fact, I've done nothing but sit and yak. lol

ABOVE:  This is a 'Brush Turkey', though Ron calls it a Bush Turkey.  He lives on this property.
And he's damn cheeky.
Today he waltzed inside the house!  Ron chased him out, but he came back.

I've never seen a bird with a vertical tail... quite unique.

He has a HUGE nest down in the bush... the female lays her eggs on some leaves, then they both heap more leaves and vegetative matter on top until it's a HUGE pile, as big as a small car.
That is what incubates the eggs.  God knows how the baby birds get out of the pile!
The male does all of the work once the eggs are hatched.  I like that idea! 
And there ya go.  An update finally!
I'll be back later to yabber on about more nothing-ness.  lol

ABOVE:  Yaaa!  He's finished his first infusion, and is waiting for his discharge papers.
He can go home!
Thank god.
Now he just has to build up his strength again.

And... that's a wrap from me today.  Catch ya tomorrow.

Thursday, October 22, 2020



I finally have an Avatar!

My niece Christina did them for me with her phone.

Here's a few that I rather like:

ABOVE:  How cool are they?  hee hee.

I can use them with text messages, Facebook and Messenger.  And add them on here too obviously.


ABOVE:  There's Steve and the boys... hanging out in hospital last night.  So sad he's back in there, but I'm so happy that the Waikato Hospital's Gastric team are throwing everything at 'it', and they are not talking OPERATIONS at all!

With any luck Steve will be on medication, infusions (8 weekly), steroids and antibiotics and ALL THAT will get him healthy, and keep him healthy.

I'm certainly not stressing out as much as I was a few days ago!  There is no point, there is NOTHING I can do from way the f*#k over here.

Well... except offer love and support from the end of a phone or message.

Today's plan?  Go for a walk, then I might make a start on sorting out my stuff, packing one of my suitcases with stuff I don't need to use right now.  Might be a few days soon, but I don't have much else to do!


I hadn't planned on going out to the shops today... but well... I had a third parcel of MY OLD AND NEW CLOTHES to send home!

I've bought A LOT of clothes.  And shoes.

ABOVE: Forgive me Stew for I have sinned.

These are the 6th pair of shoes I've bought myself since I arrived here!!!!!!

But... but... they match my pretty pink dress!


Ain't they like ... so funky???

I do hope I don't see anything else I just have to get!

.... I'm calling it 'emotional therapy and stress relief'. Works for me.

Apart from clothes and shoes, I've spent a shit load of money on groceries for the house.  Ron hasn't had to get any at all.

Sadly, he will have to once I leave.

I just got in another load of groceries, that should see him sorted for the next couple of weeks.

Lots of little packs of meat that he just has to take the wrapping off and chuck in the oven or frying pan.

There's some lovely choices down at Woolworths.

I'm now making us some lunch, left over sausages sliced up and put in a bun, with salad shit.  NICE.

2.10 pm:  And a lovely lunch has  been eaten, then I got a two hour run down of the on going war with the neighbour and City Council.

THAT was riveting.  

Ron is now outside mowing his lawn again, cos we had a bit of wind and it blew leaves on the lawn.  So... ya mow it again to remove said leaves apparently.  

Dinner tonight is Chicken steaks, mashed potato and (for Ron):  Cauliflower, Broccoli and carrots.  I will be having a pasta salad, I could NOT face cauliflower, broccoli and carrots!

God forbid I get that shit in Quartantine in Auckland!  I will throw it out the door. 😄😅😆

And it's raining!  "This place does not rain", Mum told me that all the time.  And this is the 3rd or 4th time it's rained since I arrived in Coffs Harbour.  Pffffft.

It's lovely and cool.  Should sleep well tonight.  I bloody hope so, cos sleeping is a major problem.

Talking of sleeping, I'm gunna sign off now. Catch ya tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020


 Every day I'm here now ... I have no plans.

But still manage to fill my days.

Today I plan on going to Sawtell, which is a little seaside town just south of Coffs Harbour.

Mum loved to shop there, so I am duty bound to check it out.  I KNOW she would have taken me there!

As I told you yesterday, I bought a little bit of fabric in Coramba:

ABOVE:  And see?  I wasn't lying.  Just 4 pieces.  The top two are real pretties Mum would have loved.  And some delicious wool for a Christmas present.

ABOVE:  Every resident up Ron's private road is responsible for their section of the road.  This is what Ron's looks like.  Just beautiful.  No one else keeps their part of the road maintained or lined with beautiful foliage like Ron.

Such a shame really.  The road is going to rack and ruin.

It's a nightmare to drive on... and it's DELIBERATLY like that!

There's one property owner that EVERYONE dislikes intensely, by all accounts he's a right mongrel (call him PW).

So, no one is prepared to maintain the road as it would benefit HIM, and his business, that brings more and more traffic up the road.

There's talk of speed bumps being installed to slow him and his 'clients' down.

This is an ongoing, long standing feud between all the neighbours vs. PW ... the mongrel.  Sad really. 

ABOVE:  One little area on neighbour Mark's property... there's fairy lights at night.  Mark and his wife are lovely, and have been over to check on us; and brought 6 precooked dinners over for Ron!

And now... time to get up and go for a walk before it gets too hot.


ABOVE:  Sunrise on my 62nd Birthday.  Cos... well you might have twigged by now that it's me birthday! 😂😃😄

11.55 am:  And I'm done with shopping!

ABOVE: That is looking down the main shopping street of Sawtell.  There's a lot of cafes, clothing shops and nick nack shops.

ABOVE: I just HAD TO BUY this clock!  Can't think why.  Can you? 😆

ABOVE:  I gave myself a nice morning tea... lemon slice.  It was very nice. Shame there was no birthday candle and family around me.  But well... it is what it is.

ABOVE :  This is the natural rock pool Mum told me about.  I am going to swim in it... next time I come over with Stew.

That will be in a year's time.

I also wanted to walk on the Coffs Harbour Jetty, but decided I'd like to leave that as something I do with Stew too.

I'm now back at the house, and making lunch for Ron and I.

I'm feeling really teary at the moment ... obviously missing my family.  I also picked up Mum's Death Certificate today. 😢

How EVIL can a person be?  Ron was just working on his part of the road when THE MONGREL drove along... going too fast as per usual.  Ron waved him down... indicating he'd like him to slow down.

And that FUCKING ARSEHOLE started banging really hard on the side of his ute, and laughing as loud as he could at Ron!!!  Laughing at a man who's just lost his 'wife'.  WTF sort of person does that?

OMG If I could do something really horrible to him right now I would.

Right... it's the end of the day.

I've had an average day really.  A bit low this morning, then just cruised all afternoon.

Dinner tonight was just sausages and salads.

Time to sign off, catch ya tomorrow.