Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Contrary to popular opinion, it's not the modesty that's the problem with going for a smear.... it's the memories of the last one that freak me out!

I went soon after I had Mike, I asked for just a nurse cos I am modest (hee hee) and she couldn't find my cervix! So she called in another nurse, who couldn't find "it" either, at the end, after half an hour I had 3 nurses and 2 male doctors in there with me, putting me in this position, then that... arse up, arse down, leg up, hold your breath..... grunting and groaning.... me bawling... until some twit finally found me cervix ! They had the gall to say it was hard to find cos I was so overweight! I had just had a 10 pound 4 ounce baby and I weighed 84 kilos !!!! I left that surgery mortified, humiliated and vowed I'd never do that to myself again!

I live in fear of the next lot not being able to find me bloody cervix too ! If that were to happen I'd leave immediately! So there, that's why I ain't done it for 17 and a half years. To be seriously thinking about going again is a major milestone for me, and I am going to take Stew with me for support if and when I go.

I'm off walking this morning with gym buddy, it looks like it's going to be perfect walking weather.... overcast. later...

Ok, I've been walkies, and then... I went down to the doctors to talk to the nurse... and the nurse who does the smears there is the incompetant bumbling idiot who "fixed" Brylee's cut forehead a while ago..... so there is no way in hell I'm having her trying to find me cervix!
I got home and rang the Women's Health Collective... and had to leave a message, and they will ring me back... more suspense. FUCK, now I've almost made up my mind to have it done... and I have to wait for them to call me. I'm eating too much by the way, stressed out from all this "thinking"....

APPOINTMENT: tuesday 27 March, 10 am. No sooner, cos we got to work around TOM, oh joy. Do we all feel better now??? ha ha ha.

FAR OUT... I'm getting old, I just had a NANA NAP... must be from all the stress ! Better get me butt up to school to pick up Brylee and Griffin...

BTW: a huge "THANK YOU" to all you lovely caring ladies out there who have supported me on this stomach churning day! I have just had a huge binge on..... stewed apples and raw rolled oats.... YUMMM.... *BIG LAUGH*

Griffin's idea of having a shower... sit on your arse and play with the toys...
Brylee loves having the bath to herself....
And Izzy, well she's just adorable too !
Having a lovely quiet evening as per usual... watching Coro Street... nite nite.


  1. How incompetent are they! No one likes to feel humilated, especially in that vulnerable position. Totally unprofessional.

    I will only have that exam done by an OBGYN and it is the only Dr I visit on a yearly basis. Hope things go smoother this time around.

    Have fun at the gym

  2. Love your title!

    I can see why you haven't been back!!! Good luck! I put off smears for years too but now go regularly. I have a nice gentle female doc.

    Have a great day.

  3. BLOODY HELL> I am scared, humiliated by them as well as I have a tilted uterus and they have trouble doing them. They hurt but still at "OUR" age we need to do them. Go on Chris, you can do them, just try. If they can't find your cervix then leave ...

  4. OMG, go and get that smear test!! I have one every year as I had troubles many years back. If you are worried about it, why not got to a specialist? It will cost around $100 (well did when I used to go) but they know their stuff.

  5. I had one a couple of weeks ago and I have like 50 kilos more than you had when you had yours... what is wrong with these people. I think they were just incompetant... go to a different one this time.

    I must admit I had cramping afterwards but it is apparently normal.

    Go do it my friend.... it is a scary thing but it is better to get it done now aye.

    Love ya

  6. Good on you for making that appointment...I will be thinking of ya.

    Love CM

  7. Yes thank you, I feel much better now - I was holding my breath reading today's post...LOL

    I hope you have a better experience this time mate.

    I can't believe they told you you were overweight at 84kgs and after just having a baby....what a twit!

  8. No wonder you didn't ever want to have another smear! That is a HORRIBLE story. I hope your next exeprience is much better. We all hate having it done, but someone who knows what they are doing should make it a fast, painless experience.

  9. Anonymous2:29 PM

    Oh you crack me up - sounds horrific though.

    I have TWO cervixes.... so whenever I have a smear, I get two for the price of one. Yup, true story.

    I'm glad you have made the appointment.

    It's reminded me I need to go get one myself.


  10. I've been having nanna naps for years, god, and i'm only 25!!!

    I can't believe that pap smear story, that's so horrible. 84kg...jeeze what are they going to think when they look at me?!?!

    It's great that you have decided to get the test done. Hopefully, fingers crossed, it'll be easy to find this time. Maybe tell them to leave a trail of bread crumbs for the next time ;)

  11. Oh, man - I've always hated paps, and your story just made me dread them even more. I just had my 8-week post-partum followup with the OBGYN, and a pap was involved. Blecch.

    You'd think it'd be a piece of cake after giving birth, wouldn't you? Funnily enough, I'd rather give birth again!

  12. DO NOT REACH FOR FOOD FOR COMFORT!!!!!!!!!!!! You will feel so much better after it is done. Just stay focused and keep up the good exercise and eating. You can do this girl!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Pleased you did it and made the appointment. Easier said than done - but try and forget about it until the day.


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