Thursday, January 31, 2008


I have fallen into the "I will soon" basket.... you know.. I will start my new diet/exercise regime tomorrow/next week bla bla bla.

I feel like I've fallen off the wagon AGAIN.. yet again....

I am totally disgusted in myself, I am full of shit.... Say one thing, do another... I blame it on boredom, stress... fuck anything will do!

What is wrong with me? I don't want to gain any more weight, I worked so HARD to lose my weight, yet now it is creeping back on and I seem to be powerless to do anything about it! I can SEE it happening, I can FEEL it happening, I CRY about it even, but I still procrastinate.....

I am struggling to find the motivation, the willpower, the WANT TO.... how much do I have to gain before I say ENOUGH! ???

Now I am saying to myself "When we move" well HELLO, that could be months away yet.... any ideas people? Cos I know I can do it, I have done it, I just don't know where to start this time.. It all seems so much harder ....

Today: I am going to try and take on board ANY IDEAS thrown at me.... and just bloody well DO IT.

Some good ideas coming in, one I like :

- Change 1 small thing.... well I will do this.... I will stop eating bread/pasta/potatoes.... all carbs in fact! Not 'good' carbs though (the ones found in fruit and veges).
This will be a good starting point. I was going out to buy a bigger bread maker... maybe I won't now!

THIS is the next small change I made today:

I took the WII out of the lounge and set it up in the garage... it was driving me NUTS... the constant noise and them rolling up the new rug so it wouldn't fluff up all over the floor while they were standing in front of the telly..... I could have put it upstairs in the rumpus room with the Playstation, but then Griffin would be constantly asking me to switch the plugs over from Playstation to WII and that would drive me nuts as well! Anything that drives me nuts has got to stop.... I eat when I'm annoyed!

I also went upstairs and looked at the exercise equipment... IT'S A START.... *laughing now*.... maybe tonight I will go up with Stew and actually DO SOMETHING!

WE have spent the afternoon out in the country with a girlfriend, I am feeling so much better! Maybe I have been isolating myself and staying home too much!

JANENE: I did post your comment, cos it is pertinent! I do worry about the size of me coffin-to-be!!! You just reminded me of how I don't want to be the size of an elephant ! Thanks for that, I am in no way offended, or worried or anything! I love's you for caring.

MANDY: I do have a treadmill actually! And the exercycle... AND I WILL GET ON THEM TONIGHT. I PROMISE! Then I might just follow that up with a bit of

End of Day: and I feel blessed to have so many friends who care.... THANK YOU.



  1. Anonymous6:58 AM

    Slightly off topic, but I certainly remember the inertia that was caused by the 'when.' You just can't put your life on hold forever, I at least I couldn't.

  2. I know how you feel, everything I put on is too tight and Im not sure how to deal with it! It is so stupid cause Ive been doing this for over 5 years..Im trying toi eat 3 reasonable meals a day and fruit snacks during the day but nothing...
    Then I think maybe its the heat, so up the water now drinking 3.25 litres a day plus green tea and the odd coffee...I am walking twice a day most days so thats 2hrs of exercise and all the incidental exercise..still nothing
    So I am going back to where I started pulled out the old diet clinc books and will try again..
    Hell it sucks big time......
    Hope you have a good day girlfriend :)

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  4. Oh - I feel like a nag, I'm not - but don't say tomorrow - say TODAY!!!! Start now and think how great you will feel with a good day done and completed.

  5. Morning Chris,
    Chin up Chick, at least you can see what is happening. But also don't forget that you have been successful before, you know how to do this, and you will lose all the weight again. :o)

    My suggestion, get a one on one support person, someone what will help you, but that you can help too, someone that you don't want to let down. Someone that you have to communicate with daily, even hourly to start with. You need a Kick Butt Buddy :o)

  6. Hey chick.... I was like that over xmas... but luckily snapped out of it fairly quickly... I NEVER want to go back and I know you dont either...
    I have no miracle ideas.. you know how to do it girl... you are the only one that can make this work!!!
    If ya dont.. I may be forced to come over there and kik your arse.... haha
    Oh and can ya let me know if you can actually see my blog... I cant seem to see anything but my header..... starting to stress... think it may be all gone!!!

  7. it's easy to say, "i'l start tomorrow or next week" but it's easier to just start right now... eat something healthy, go for a walk, throw away all the bad food in the house - do something positive and you'll get immediate results...

    we've all worked hard at losing weight and we've all probably gained it back (plus some) at one point or another, but that doesn't mean we have to give up... changing ONE thing can make a difference, regardless of how small it may be... remember a lot of little things will eventually add up to a big thing... :o)

  8. Honey-you have to find the motivation know it...You either want to lose weight or you don't; it's really that simple.
    That's the only advice I can give because anything else I'm thinking of saying you will come up with excuses and reasons why you can't do that. :) I'm saying this in a friendly way-not being bitchy- see-I'm smiling :)

  9. ok, I am certainly no expert on how to re-motivate ones self as I struggle with this myself, but heres a few of things that help get me back on track.

    1. hop on the scales and get real with the number you see. (this is a big one for me, because at 122kg I know I have a lot to lose, but when I see those numbers creeping up closer to the 125 mark again it does help jolt me back to being determined to NOT ever get up to the 130's where I used to be. (136kg to be exact).

    2. Get involved with doing something. Make the effort to committ to something that will class as movement. Again this is another difficult one for me as I get soooo bored with the gym. So this year I am going to go back to dance classes. Last year I started learning ceroc. It is also known as modern jive. Its great for any fitness level and all I have to do is show up at the community hall each Monday night. Its fun fun fun and its sooo easy to dance for an hour and not feel like its hard work. (in fact the hour totally flys by). The bonus of this is thats its really social, a great way to meet new people.

    3. My other form of exercise is aqua aerobics, not everyones cup of tea, but find something that is, and just do it. (I always feel sooo much better when I include some activity in my week). In fact I always think 'why did it take me so long to do this'. (lol, arn't we our own worst enemy at times).

    The thing is that you don't want to gain more weight, but the reality is that we will if we dont' do something about it. I could easily be back to 136kg by the end of the year if I just sat back whinging about how fat I am while sitting on my chuff doing nothing. Unfortunately this weight didn't attach itself to my rear overnight, and its not going to leave without me doing something differently.

    You have the tools and knowledge to start seeing those scales moving downwards again. Remember how great you felt when you reached your goal last time. Your pic with your arms around Stew is '
    hot hot hot' (in a toally non lessy way of course, lol) but you know what I mean. We all feel so much better when we are trim. Perhaps you need the formality of a structured program again. I am back off to ww myself as I think having to be accountable will help keep me on track.

    Ok, now that I've written a thesis I will stop there. But you can do this Chris, just pull finger and get on with it.

  10. A good idea would be to replace Diet Coke with water... Joking!!!!!! :)

    Maybe start listing everything you eat and see what could be cut out without depriving yourself?

  11. Anonymous12:33 PM

    Hope you find the motivation you need to help you along this journey. When i was on ww i would plan my menu for the whole week and eat every 3 hours. It meant i knew where i was at, what food was coming next and when.

    Stay strong, you can do this


  12. Sometimes what worked before won't work now. I lost alot of weight following one method (over 60kgs) put some back on and panicked. I tried day after day to restart but my old motivations and habits no longer worked. I had to find something new, something that works for me now. Good luck, its so hard isn't it:)

  13. Right-e-o Chris, here it is babes...

    1. Start right NOW...not tomorrow/next week/month etc..

    2. Small changes are good...brak it up so that it doesnt all seem to hard..

    3. write down everything you ate yesterday/your last 'bad' day... look at it... evaluate it... and then work to change it... small steps...

    4. go back upstairs and look at the exercise equiptmet again, then jump on the bike and do 5 minutes... its a start right? .. go upstars 6 times day and do your 5 mins and there you have a good 1/2 hour of exercise PLUS all that stair walking too!

    5. Forget the fuckups, start fresh, allow yourself to be human and make mistakes, use them to your advantage and learn from them.

    6. push yourself, if you really dont feel like that 5 mins exercise just jump on and go for it, in no time you will have done 10 mins babe!

    7. think thin, picture yourself where you wanna be, remember where you came from (fat pic on the fridge babes) each day work towards the thin you leaving fat you further in the past.

    8. remember that you have done it b4 and you are strong enough to do it again, and you will!

    9.NO FOOD REWARDS... none zip zero zilch.

    10. dont deny yourself, the craving will grow and you will binge, if you really want chocolte work a small amount into your daily allowance.

    hope ive helped hunny, now im off to take some of my own advice!

    Erica xx

  14. Chris im hearing you loud and clear I could have written your post over and over again.... I do however agree with Emily I was trying to get back to the way I was when I lost the weight before and when I didnt exercise for 2 hours like before or I didnt eat as good like before I felt a failure but times have changed , you have changed and now its time to learn again and do again cause you said it you can do it ..for me the starting point was finding the inner peace/living one day at a time as I beleive until one has that the road will be rocky... then try to just chance/improve one thing at a time dont overwhelm yourself...hope this doesnt sound like a sermon seems to go on forever what I have written lol..... we are all here for you are so lucky having the support you have on here id kill for that ... xx

  15. Stop procrastinating. Start now. You CAN do it.

    A lot of good ideas have been shared. Just one small thing at a time. One achievement after the other.

    Hugs mate. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just make that decision to move on from here. Nothing to be gained looking backwards. Focus on what's ahead.

  16. Working out is a struggle for me too. It's one of the first to go when I'm short on time. Good luck.

  17. I am so not the one to be saying anything because I am still on my journey and man I get off track etc.

    BUT.... bloody hell you have been big and you have been small WTF is wrong hun?

    You know you need to do something babe and you are the only one that can help you... as I have found out in the last couple of weeks because no one could help me and I have to do it for me now too.

    Get off ya butt and use your exercise equipment... I WOULD KILL TO HAVE A BIKE OR A TREADMILL (I know you don't have a treadmill) but you have so many opportunities others don't have so take it and do good for yourself.

    Take one bad habit and change it!!! Then next week take another one and add it to the bad habit you have this week and change it.... small changes make big ones in the long run.

    Now I need to go and take my own advice aye.


  18. Quit beating yourself up about the past...set some goals, write them down, post them in your house, make a plan, then do it.

  19. Don't be so hard on yourself. It does indeed get harder as we get older, no doubt about that. Instead of focussing on what you are not doing, focus on the positive things in your life (they don't need to be diet related). I have given up trying to be the diet police with myself. It made me miserable, and that of course rubs onto the rest of the family - I don't want to think back on my life and remember the energy and heartache I wasted because I was a little plump. Focus on being healthy. If your BP is okay, if your cholesterol is good, if you feel good and can get around without being short of breathe.....these are all good things, and a sign that things aren't as bad as we make out. I know it's hard, it's something I have struggled with for a long time - and, while I am not slim enough for my liking, I have learnt to be kinder to myself, and to revel in the good things in my life......

    I can totally emphatize with you moving the wii out of the room...... Just ask my kids, they have to play on the PS with no noise. It drives me spare, and my house is so tiny, that there is nowhere else to go. This way they can have their PS and I can still play music......happiness all round!!!

    Glad you had a nice afternoon with your gf. Sometimes we think too much......

  20. Anonymous8:58 PM

    well is sounds like you took care of it yourself. And like you said, small steps, just change one thing today and then add to it when you are ready. Write it down so it is harder to back out of and tell everyone here so you feel accountable.

  21. You have been given so much great advice i dont feel i can add any! But maybe you can pop over to my blog and give me some advice!!

  22. I need to offer this because I know it was a massive contributing factor to my state of mind and lack of motivation.

    I won't allow myself on the computer now until I do what I have to do for the day (e.g. dishes done, bed made, showered etc)

    The second I sit at the computer I get lost in websites, blogs and commenting and the next thing I know it's hours later and that bugs the fuck out of me.

    I have one small idea for you.

    "I am not allowed to open my computer until I have done 20 minutes of exercise"

    Fat Wars by Brad King is a magnificent book and he'll be the first to tell you that any exercise done before breakfast burns more energy than double the same effort in the evening.

    I know what I'd rather chose.

    You know what? I DARE you!

  23. Awwwe chick, I wish I could do something to make you feel better but alas I don't think I can.

    Why not do your exercsie rota. If it is there pinned up on the wall then you know that for that day, such and such MUST BE COMPLETED THAT DAY!! Have a box to tick it off when you have done it each day.

    Have more Beauty treatments, these might spur you on to make a body that you will be happy with to go along with your Beauty.

    Put YOU first.

    I know these aren't much help but I'm trying or as my OH always tell me, I am VERY TRYING...*SNIGGER*

    Hugs hun xx

  24. Hey Chris,

    I don't know what I could possibly add, you've gotten SO much good advice and some well needed tough love to boot! :) I think that fact that you have SO many people on here cheering for you, and wanting nothing but the best for you has to count for something pretty special. Anyone that has tried to lose weight has been where you are now. It's crazy when we don't know how to flip our own switch, and just friggin DO what we know we need to DO to get the results we want.

    Just break it down. One choice at a time. Keep making more good choices than bad and you will find your way back. Oh, and keep looking at how HOT that picture is of you and Stew...that girl is still there in you. :)

  25. ((HUGS)) Sorry to hear your day started off as a bit of a downer. Your right to make small changes. One step at a time. You can do anything you put your mind to. January seems to be a bad month for the blues. (Cheer up everything is going to be ok.))


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