Friday, December 09, 2011


It's Friday, and seriously, I have nothing planned for the day.
I have to go to the bank... might post a couple of parcels.... but that's about it.

I made a good start on organising my photo files again.... instead of putting everything into 'months' as I had done, Lynise (friend) suggested  events/trips/people etc, and it is a much better idea!  So, I will continue working on that too.

AND I even might get around to checking out some blogs/updates too!
I am kinda scared to open 'Google Reader'!
Goodness knows how many updates I have missed!  

Same shit/different day really!

ABOVE:  I made this Christmas card yesterday... it's going to Stew's MOTHER in the South Island (New Zealand is divided into two main islands, North and South).  Stew and I found his 'Birth Mother' about 20 years ago now, and after an initial flurry of meetings/phone calls etc, contact has all but dried up between him and his 'birth family'.

We were watching a programme on the TV a couple of nights ago called 'Missing Pieces' ... it's about people being re-united with missing family.  Often 'birth' parents... this programme kinda upsets Stew as he has lived through finding his birth family.  It is hard seeing other people going through the same things he did, knowing that sometimes it really doesn't end that great.
Sure, we found his 'birth' family, and met them ... but it has not lead to anything.  Just knowledge, and another empty feeling.

So anyway... I'm sending the Mother a nice Christmas Card and a letter updating her on how our family is doing.  Fingers crossed we hear back from her.
Stew has a full sister and a half brother and sister on his birth mother's side... who we have met.
Also, he has 3 brothers and a sister from his birth father's side... who we have met but they did not know who Stew was (their half brother)... that was hard.  But, his birth mother did not want them to know who Stew was.

Now I bitterly regret not telling them as it might have lead to a good relationship, as with hindsight we sure in hell don't have any sort of relationship with his birth mother's side of the family.

I found something to do.  Grocery shopping, which was the pitts as per usual.
By the time I had it all in the house I was dripping with sweat!  Ikkkk.

Sushi for lunch... going to sit down and enjoy it.
Got lots of housework done this afternoon... and spent a lot of time cleaning up after Coco.  She is driving me nuts, bringing into the house all sorts of vegetation to chew up all over the place.
AND YES, she does have lots of chew toys!

Dinner was lovely, I made a pasta, cabonara and cheese krasky's dish.  Hopefully there is enough for lunch tomorrow!


  1. Leigh6:50 AM

    I have known several people who found their birth parents, and all of them started with a lot of contact, and then it stopped. I think it's because even though they are 'blood' there is no shared history that real (living together) families have. Remember the reunions you see on TV are the start of this they don't go back in 6 mths time or a year and see how things are going. My husband is adopted and he is not interested in finding out anything (kind of sees it as an insult to his adoptive parents) I thought that would change when they died but it hasn't and they have been gone about 15 years now. Maybe it is seeing it doesn't work out with our friends who have found birth families.

  2. 65 yrs ago my Nana was made to give up 2nd born "war" father claimed child not his, WELL 50 yrs later she had to tell a stunned family there was another brother she warned my father not to come to initial meeting in Foxton she arrives out steps missing son, whom she abuses for being my dad and says "Bryan "i bloody told you to stay home!!!" It was in fact Russell the missing son he is the identical image to my dad and his next brother down Bill it is spooky and the birth father (wasnt alive) to witness his awful mistake and accusation of our Nana. They have great contact and he is a neat guy, I am sad Stews family now miss out on a wonderful man father husband THEIR loss.

  3. I totally get how Stew feels. After the reunion, we really have not been in touch all that much. I think I have reached out to them more then they have to me... It is just weird dynamics all around eh?

  4. Anonymous9:55 AM

    I can imagine that you and Stew are let down. You would think they would be happy to know another sibling was around. I know I would be. All the more the merrier I say!...debbie

  5. Ah, families. Can't choose your rellies, can you. I hope he hears back from his mum.

    I have a Mac, and it comes with a program called iPhoto which sorts your pics into dates, or you can group them together into "events", which is what I did. I have all our caravan rallies together, parties, family events etc. And just random stuff chucked in as "practice". You'll find what suits you soon enough.


  6. Families are tricky. My husband hasn't wanted to find his birth parents for that reason. His sister has a great relationship with her birth Mum but the unknown is pretty scary.

  7. It's sad that they're missing out on a whole other family. Hope they get closer. At least Stew has a big family full of love with you and your kids/grandkids.

  8. Heck my dad lives 12 miles away and he might as well not be a birth dad for all the contact we have. Every time I see him he asks me if I want something (and I never ask him for anything).

  9. I agree that Stew's birth family is losing out by not getting to know him. The whole family thing can be so difficult, but he is very fortunate to have all that he has with you.

  10. A friend had the same experience this past summer. After being an "Only" child for her lifetime as she knew it- all of a sudden she found a complete family and she had four or five sisters. They all met and satisfied their curiosity - and then that was it. She too reached out and called them -but that was as far as it went. I think part of it is that we get into a habit and don't see any need to make waves.

    As long as Stew makes you happy I think he is a "perfect man" because I have always thought a loving family man is the greatest thing a man can be-and- after you have had the BEST - then there is only the Rest! LOL

  11. Suggestion...LOL.. You need to share your recipes!! You talk about what you have cooked and it makes me hungry! LOL.. Seriously!! I would love to know about this cabonara, pasta, cheese krasky dish!!!

    God Bless~

  12. Love the card. All you can do is all you can do. Send the update and then it is up to the mother as to is she responds. It would be nice if she did, for Stew's sake.


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