Thursday, April 11, 2013

ALL FOR NOTHING

After slaving away all day... it's all been for nothing.


Steve is refusing to move into my old room.

He thinks I shouldn't have moved into the garage.

Shame he didn't say something yesterday MORNING, when he read my blog and saw what I was doing.

I am NOT moving everything back.

If I have to make my bedroom the spare bedroom I will.

I am so upset now it's not funny.  

Why couldn't he just accept what I had done, for him, Bex and Dante?

I LOVE it in the garage and I'm not moving.

I AM NOT MOVING.  

If I have to make my old bedroom the 'spare' room, I will.

From MISERABLE to INCREDIBLY HAPPY again!

I 'spoke' to Steve about all the reasons why I WANT to be in my new ROOM, how it has made me so happy, how it benefits more than just him, Bex and Dante, and how he was making me so upset that he couldn't see that.
AND he has agreed to the move!

I am jumping with delight.

This is not a FOREVER thing, it's just for the mid-term.  Though I have a sneaky feeling I am going to never want to leave my new room!
I love it so much.

Today:  Once Dante wakes up we are going out ... my 'new' phone is ready to be picked up. I've been using a 'loaner' from Telecom for the past week and it's a right shit of a phone!  
I also want to buy a 'normal' mop... to clean ceilings.  Sugar soap ... I must get some of that too!

We are home again!  We took meatloaf to Lacy, picked up my new phone (tis the same as me old one), then did a bit of grocery shopping, had a bite to eat and came home.
I'm really tired after all the work we did yesterday so am going to grap a nap before the kids get home.

I think Bex is going to potter around in her room and get a few things sorted ready to move into their new room.

Now while trying not to be DEFENSIVE and come on too strong... can I please say:
If you have nothing nice to say, why don't you just say nothing?....   

...ANON: SUE from WELLINGTON, ...  I have been tracking your visits to my blog for months now and wow, you sure 'visit' a lot!
I think you only visit so you can pick holes in me?   I don't get you at all.   Are you a mother?  And if so, would you not do all you could to help out your kids?  

Well the nap was pretty elusive.  Didn't happen. But that's ok, at least I relaxed for a while.  The dogs loved having a cuddle on my bed with me too.

Bex is making inroads into her move from room to room too.  I think they will be all moved over by bedtime tonight.

I've still got a bit to do with wardrobes etc... but it does not have to be finished today... or even tomorrow.

PENNY: in no way did I 'interpret' your comment at anything but caring.  Families do whatever they can to help each other (if at all possible).

End of Day:  WOW!  No photo today... that is a very rare event.  Sorry and all that... been busy!
nite nite.

22 comments:

  1. Maybe he is embarressed that they are already having to live with you and now to him it might just be too much to "put you out" any more. He doesn't understand that this is pure parental love in action.

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  2. Anonymous8:17 AM

    Steve ya dick! Just move into the bedroom.Us mums always do stuff like this for our kids and we wouldnt do it if we didnt want to do it.
    So stop being an egg!
    Kate in Welly

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  3. Anonymous8:26 AM

    Children ahy! what can you do about that. Your doing something for him and his family and he thinks its wrong. Can't help but love them even when they pee you off. Good luck steve for trying to change your mums mind, from the blogs i've read she's very strong headed. lol hope you all have a wonderful day...

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  4. Anonymous8:58 AM

    Maybe he read it, thought about it all day then decided no. I can't say I blame him and I can see his point. It's not just a bedroom, it's the master bedroom in his parent's house! He must feel a lot of emotions given he can't provide for his family the way he wants to (ie their own place).

    Perhaps they could use the garage room for storage if clothes etc and stay in their room?

    Cranky

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  5. Oh dear perhaps a day or so he may come around and when he sees the end result perhaps that will help at least you got a HUGE exercise session in if you and Bex move all the furniture in and make their new room up would that help? It will only be temporary I'm sure.

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  6. I can understand why you are so upset and I can also see Steves side. He is such a nice caring young man that it is not in his nature to put someone out and that seems to be what he feels he is doing.

    Steve, Mum is happy turning the garage into the master bedroom, you know she will have a ball getting it just right. You, Bex & Dante are a part of an extended family sharing the same home, it is a case of using the space available in the best way. You are doing an awesome job of being a Dad & partner. You are working hard & should be really proud if yourself. Move into the room & if in a couple of weeks you still feel uncomfortable or Chris & Stew are not happy in their new room (stop referring to it as the garage), then look at swapping.

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  7. I am glad you are back to being happy and that you were able to have a great chat with Steve.
    Enjoy the new boudoir (SP?)

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  8. Anonymous11:15 AM

    Another way to look at this is that you really arent doing him any favours if he already feels inadequate as a provider. Do you always know best? Just because you wanted it badly, doesnt mean that it is right for Bex and Steve.. it does sound a bit controlling, (and a bit 'look at me, im a great mother' ish)
    Sue

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  9. I'm glad you came around Steve, and hope it works out for all of you. Can I say one thing to Steve: if this has brought up issues about being able to provide for your family, remember that a lot of things are wrong with the economy at the moment. In NZ in particular there is significant unemployment, a ridiculous housing affordability crisis (especially in Auckland) and comparatively low wage rates. Most couples struggle when they have a baby and it doesn't make sense for both to work, as is the case for you. I have a sister and brother-in-law with a young baby and they just moved back to Dunedin from Melbourne: both are university educated professionals and Melbourne was too much for them to break into the housing market, even if my sister went back to work they would be struggling to afford a mortgage.

    All I'm saying is there are external things going on too and your circumstances are not entirely of your own making. Plus, your parents clearly love having you guys around, so you are giving something back as well. Penny xo

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  10. I agree with Bella. Really, it makes me admire him for not wanting to take over his parents master room. Maybe it seems to permanent for him. Hope you can forgive him in a short time.

    My hubby and I had to live with my mom when we were first married, and then my oldest daughter, her hubby and little girl had to live with us because they had no job and he had gone back to school. We all do this at one time or another~
    ♥♥♥

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  11. I'm glad your happy in your new room! I can hardly wait to get my basement back. Sorry I haven't been up on your site lately there's been a lot going on. Hope the rest of your week is great.

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  12. Looks like Steve has finally figured out you've sorted your own "parents retreat" LOL. Enjoy Chris!!!! [ah & Stew :0)]

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  13. Anonymous3:14 PM

    Oh my gosh no where has it been said steve is inadequate. He is doing a awesome job. as is chris :)

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  14. Rhonda3:44 PM

    Hi Chris I am a long time follower of your blog. Love it! I don't comment a lot but it never ceases to amaze me that people think they have the right to write derogatory comments! Steve and Bex are clearly not freeloading on you and Stu and they more than pull their weight. Parents love is endless. Too bad too sad for people who don't get it!

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  15. It may seem seem "look at me I am the best Mother" to you Sue (anonymous) But you do not know Chris and if you did you would see that she never does things for her children just to say "how good am I".

    I don't know you but you sound like a mean spirited woman who should mind her own business.

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  16. Anonymous5:02 PM

    any neg comments is JEALOUSY over you being surrounded with your grands! you rock!
    mumtotwo
    robin x

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  17. I really hope no-one interpreted what I wrote as me thinking anything negative about Steve and Bex. I was trying to be sensitive to what they might (MIGHT! I really have no idea) be feeling. We are currently being helped out by family in a different way that I really struggled with at first, because I felt we should be able to provide entirely for ourselves (and again, it is the economy that has put us in this position). We could manage without their help but would have used up our savings way faster. It has been explained to me that our arrangement is mutually beneficial (as it appears to be in your case Chris and co.) which makes me feel a bit better about it but it can raise odd feelings. That is where I was coming from - in no way do I think Steve and Bex are not doing all they can for their family. I hope that makes sense. I would have also been able to understand if there were other reasons Steve didn't like the new arrangements but am glad the two of you have communicated and worked it out.

    Penny xo

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  18. Thanks Chris, I didn't think you would but did hope it didn't come across as too condescending towards Steve! It's a tough world out there, and I'm glad for those of us with good family and friends. Even if you don't need concrete support life is much better with them in it ;-)

    Penny xo

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  19. Yeah, it's not like you're doing something you can't un-do.
    That's a very important point I forget to make in many "discussion arguments"

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  20. Good to hear you got the bedroom situation sorted. Hope you like your new digs, what we won't do for our children.

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  21. Anonymous7:55 AM

    Im from welly and its not me leaving bitch ass comments btw!
    Kate in Welly

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  22. So glad you are doing what works for you and your family - don't give another thought to anyone who disagrees - it doesn't have anything to do with them.
    Have the best weekend !
    Me

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