Last night was a bit rough.
I kept craving FOOD.
Anything would have done. But I resisted.
Thankfully.
Cos I would have been so very pissed off with myself if I'd caved in to the cravings.
It is hard though. During the weekends we always have chips/dips/twistees etc while watching TV.
It's just a habit I have to give up. The end result is something I have to keep reminding myself is worth it.
And it is. I want that happy me back, the one who doesn't hate herself ... or her reflection in plate glass windows in town.
I don't care how long it takes, I'm gunna get back my self esteem and self worth and start looking after myself the best I can.
NO one else can do this for me but ME.
Now... today.
I'm gunna supervise while Stew plants those two trees.
And I'll give the garden centre a call and see if the other two have arrived yet. They did say they would be in by the end of the week.
Bex is going out today to buy pineapple. Some lady in the mall told her the other day that eating pineapple can bring on labour! I've never heard of that one before?
Heard of it? Might it work, or is it a crock of shit?
Right. That's me for now... I'll be back later.
ONWARD...
The trees had arrived, so we went down and picked them up.
Now Stew has to dig 4 holes... I feel sorry for him, truly I do.
Hopefully in a couple of years they will be acting as a screen from the house-to-be over the fence.
Stew is now mowing the lawns and I'm thinking about what to cook the family for dinner...
Well I was going to cook chicken in a lemon sauce for dinner, but Stew wanted to do nachos... so I let him.
We can have the chicken tomorrow night.
His nachos were nice, I had some, but not a huge helping. Kept within my points for the day.
Been fighting temptation AGAIN tonight. Can't stop thinking of food, yet I'm not even hungry! Bad habits ... I had no idea it was this bad.
Even the healthy 'snacking' I did in the first 3 months of this year is not allowed with my pro point limit. Hopefully this craving at night settles soon.
End of Day: Well our section looks so lovely with the new trees and a freshly mown lawn. Thank you Darling, you ROCK.
nite nite
Self worth sounds good. You can and will do it
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about wanting to snack...I told my self yesterday that if "is only me I am cheating" and "nothing tastes as good as slim feels" I have still lost the 14 kilos, and am now trying to lose the last 8 kilos...I went shopping yesterday and that always helps with resisting food...trying on clothes ! I think you are worth heaps, your weight does not determine your worth....
Cheers
Peta
"Self worth" is hard to find sometimes Peta. I've been called 'fat', 'lazy', 'bigger than a house', 'disgusting' and so on all my life by a person who should have cared about me no matter what, so it's hard to feel good about myself.
DeleteI know you don't need someone else to tell you this, but that is terrible, and that person has a lot to answer for. You are worth so much more than the number on the scale. You don't have to answer to that person, only to yourself. And if you know you will feel better than you do now when you lose the weight, use that. Not that person's ugly voice in your head. Do it for yourself, no one else. Hugs xoxo
DeletePeople tell me raspberry tea helps too, but I'm sure Bex is getting all the advice she wants and more! Hope it hurries along for her sake. Happy Birthday by the way, Steve! Penny xo
ReplyDeleteI love all the old wives tales, I was always told, hot bath, hot curry & hot sex - it did not work - even whilst attempting all 3 simultaneously :-). Bubs will come when good and ready.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! Pineapple is a new one! Hope it happens soon for her. :)
ReplyDeleteAhh waking in the night for a feed, Im proud you didnt eat anything Chris, bit like me wanting a smoke every hour but not having one. Oh shit this is hard and the Zyban the doctor put me on is making me feel even more depressed. Just keep on crying. You just keep buzy like me and we will be fine. Dont forget it was that same person who told me I would never amount to anything and was to good for the other persons. Families SUCK...well some of em do.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww I'm sorry you and sister are having a time of it words can be sooooo hurtful and Im glad you resisted temptation!
ReplyDeleteI so need to find that self worth again, mine has gone missing.
ReplyDeleteWe avoid pineapple before and during period as well if we don't want a bad period. Thru out my pregnancy, I never went near a pineapple. I don't know if it's true but better safe than sorry.
ReplyDeleteBugga. Got a word wrong up there. Not me to good, other people to good for me lol. Heres hoping Bubs will arrive soon, and Jen go find your self worth sweets. Its there somewhere. HUGS ALL
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