SLEEP? WHAT'S DAT???

Stew and I had a long discussion last night and have decided to get a Registered Valuation on the house, and have another meeting with the Real Estate Agents to give this house a big push with lots more advertising and whatever else they can recommend.... we want this house SOLD! No more pissing around, it's now or never.... I have to get to Auckland and get this family reunited.

So, as a consequence... my mind was on FULL when I went to bed and I just could NOT get to sleep at all.... I even tried sleeping on the couch... it did not work. So today, I am going to be a bloody ZOMBIE!

Today, kids to school, ring and get a Valuer to come ... (must tidy house).... maybe go into town with Stew and have lunch....

Still working on that painting... fine tuning to be done! Thought of adding something else to it last night... so no photo yet.

WE be having lunch in Bulls... at my favourite Kebab shop! OOOO I can't wait....

- Lunch was lovely

- got me legs waxed again.. love it!

- just made an enormous meatloaf for dinner

- am VERY tired... looking forward to relaxing

- bought a Recipe Book today... RELAX... it ain't for me! I just make 'em up as I go usually.

End of Day: it's been nice having Stew around all day with me, at least this weekend I actually want him around! Last weekend I couldn't have cared less.... poor man!

NSV: The meatloaf was delicious, but keeps repeating on me! Not so nice. Oh well, can't have everything. nite nite.

I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!

I have been TRYING for weeks now to get Mike to move out... he was supposed to be moving into a flat with his brother Steve and Steve's fiance... that hasn't happened yet!

IN FACT..... bugger me if Steve hasn't moved home! The fiance has moved home to her parents too, they are having a 'break' from each other!

I'm thinking the only person who will to ABSOLUTELY thrilled to see Uncle Steve home again is Griffin... he idolises his Uncle Steve! Steve can do no wrong in his eyes, he LOVES him THE MOST I reckon!

So now every morning I will have to go upstairs and tidy Mikes room AND Steve's... oh joy.... like I have NOTHING better to do! Secretly, it's kinda nice to have the extra company!

This was the little guys face when he saw who was sleeping upstairs this morning:
And of course he had to get into bed for a cuddle:

I have been at it again..... SHOPPING..... "Harry the Hand Cart" did die.... I loved my hand cart.... so I went and bought me a new one... here is Harry II :

Gotta love him, he's got *6* wheels no less!!!! Old Harry only had two, and they kept going flat! These little beauties are never going to go flat! YIPEE !

I also bought some bubby stuff for our new Grandbaby, due next month.... Can you tell I'm hoping for a wee girl ? I have 4 grandsons and only 1 granddaughter so far....

I just couldn't resist!

MADDY: a hand cart is used to move heavy stuff/furniture... you slide it underneath then tilt and roll... I can move ANYTHING on my own with Harry! And wait there's more... he has three wheels either side so he can 'walk' up stairs... it's amazing ... no 'thump, thump, thump' as you go up or down, the wheels just kinda roll up the stairs! I love it!

End of Day: it's been STINKING HOT today, almost unbearable really! Maybe not as hot as it gets in Aussy, but hot enough for me! Stew is safely home again till monday morning... the company is bending over backwards to have him here as often as possible for me!

NSV: I have been on track today, not counting but not being evil either. All is good. nite nite.

THAT WAS FUN... MIGHT GO DO ANOTHER ONE NOW.

My picture is nearly finished... so I think I will go and get more materials and do another one!

They come in handy as gifts! Might do a few wee ones next....

Can't walk to town today though, will need my vehicle to bring said supplies home....but I will try to get on the treadmill today, and the exercycle too. Followed by a sauna me thinks! BLISS.

I'm really lucky the kids have 'taken' to Stew's coming's and going's so well, no tears or tantrums... and Brylee realises now that I DO KNOW how to tuck her in at night! Sure makes that aspect easier to deal with, no upset kids.

Anyway... onward with this day....

HA! So far today I have done nothing I intended to do! Instead I decided to move my computer desk and 'stuff' from the dining room up into the little single bedroom upstairs, so that way the dining room would be less 'cluttered'..
so...

- I had to move the bed etc from the room upstairs and take it DOWNSTAIRS and set it all up in the room I've been using as my "Dressing Room"...

- Which meant dismantling my 'dressing room' and putting all my clothes in other wardrobes etc....

- and putting a big double door cupboard into the garage...

- which meant tidying and rearranging the garage....

- Which then lead to me being able to take all my computer stuff UPSTAIRS....

- which meant then rearranging the dining room .....

OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I START???? I am KNACKERED! On top of all that I have done the dishes, three loads of washing, vacumed the house and cleaned the loos... SOMEBODY give me a friggin MEDAL! I deserve one. AND IT'S ONLY 11.15 in the morning ....

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Now, whenever I want to use my computer I have to go up the stairs... this is maybe not a bad thing!

End of day: I've had a neat day! Being busy suits me! And I got bloody tired from all the furniture moving and going up and down the stairs so many times.... this is good. Janene and Jorja visited again this evening, all 3 kids were hyper! Was pleased to see mine go off to bed!

NSV: being busy kept me away from the pantry/fridge... nite nite.

ENJOY.....

1/ Ready, set .... go2/ It's a start....
3/ Making progress....

4/ Starting to take shape....

TUESDAY... AND ....

It will be all day!

Come on, some days the mind is just a blank.... I don't have any plans except for painting.... getting the kids to and from school, and maybe, just maybe I will do some SERIOUS exercise too. I'm not promising cos I'm a lazy tart at the moment!

I might even go into town.... depends on how hot it is... might walk! It's a good walk, about 8 kms there and back... and my butt sure needs me to do some walking! We will see....

Right now... I better get going, the kids are still asleep which is unusual for Griffin, he's usually up and watching some cartoon on TV by now! Who HATES Spongebob??? I swear that programme drives me batty! I do not need to know Spongebob Squarepants lives in a Pineapple under the sea, I DO NOT. And I hate that I find myself singing that during the day, shit that's annoying! ha ha ha.

COME ON! I just KNEW ya all wanted to see a picture of SPONGEBOB!!!

- My girlfriend Janet popped it for a morning natter

- I walked to town

- I got books from library, walked around for 2 hours and then... caught a bus home! Mandy, I got 3 crime novels! Whodunnits.. yipee.

- Did some more painting

- picked up kids....

End of Day: another better day! Tired though, walking to town, standing on me feet lots painting.... doing housework... hopefully I will sleep well tonight!

NSV: errrrrr none I'm afraid, just ate lots of shit and wasn't even hungry... just on my own and nothing better to do! Watch paint dry ?...I don't think so! nite nite.

NEW WEEK, NEW ATTITUDE

Today:

- Drive Stew to the airport.... I WILL miss the bugger!

- Kids to school

- Muck around with paint effects, first must buy some paint !

- Lunch with our Real Estate Agent, she's doing some 'Damage Control' me thinks! Nice.

- Pick up kids from school

- Smile a few times more than yesterday!

I'm feeling much better, don't know why... maybe I just needed to reach an awful low to start climbing back up from the depths? Dunno, don't care.... am trying really hard to be more positive.

My weight suffered last week, so back onto it today.... marshmallows for dinner WILL NOT happen again!

Stew's flight to Auckland was cancelled, a problem with the plane... so he had to sit around in the airport for 3 hours then take a diverted flight to Napier to connect with a flight to Auckland in the afternoon... he was the ONLY passenger on the plane to Napier!!! Talk about an expensive little venture for Air New Zealand, taking one passenger to Napier!

Lunch with The Estate Agent went OK, she recommended I take down the wooden panelling on the deck, she thought it looked "TACKY" ok, whatever.... down it came. Far out Stew did not mean for it to come down, it took me about 2 hours to chisel around the nails so I could pull them out, they were bloody long F*#kers !

BEFORE:
NOW:


.....Izzy's kennel etc was already gone .... it does look nicer I must admit.

What else? Not much, been good on the food front today.... got the monthly (joy), kids are good.... that's about it!

I just sent this photo off to the Real Estate Agents too, they did not have a really nice one of our backyard and side of the house.... this is a really nice one I reckon.

End of Day: It's been rather nice! Janene and Jorja came for a visit after dinner which was really nice too. Now I'm like a pig in shit... painting! God I love painting! I need to do more!

NSV: Kinda stayed on track, but you know what? I am over stressing about my weight, it's making me miserable so I'm just going with the flow for now. nite nite.

LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MORNING

The 'girls' and I are meeting Helena and Craig today for morning tea..... they are up from Wellington for the Harley Davidson Meet.... how cool, we get to see the gorgeous Leenie again. That's something to look forward to.

Before that though, I've got a shit load of housework to do...Open Home again today... and I'm bound to be totally grumpy by this afternoon... fuck what's new? I hate these Open Homes, you get yourself all psyched up with hope only to have it dashed yet again. It really does mess up your mood, though in saying that, it can't really get much worse eh? ha ha ha.

Oh yes, I'm really looking forward to starting that picture too... see... I'm trying to perk up!
For you who asked.... our home is 300 sq metres which = 3,229 sq feet.
Thank you so much for your gorgeous comment Beckie... I went and published it by accident, so have removed it again..... derrr!

Morning tea was lovely, we had a right old yak! And some yummy brunch, I think we all partook of some devine food ... so I did not feel guilty having bacon, eggs, sausage, etc... yummo. It was so nice to see Leenie again, she looks beautiful and so happy!

Rest of day: Open Home was a fizzer.... did some grocery shopping.... eating marshmallows for dinner! Not much else planned for the evening.

End of Day: not bad on a whole! Even managed a smile a few times, which are few and far between at the moment.

NSV: Well I ate a delicious brunch and felt good about it, sometimes it just does not matter what the bloody scales say eh? nite nite.

SATURDAY, MOOD - NO BETTER

I'm going to blog.... once in the morning.... and once at night, less pressure then, think that's a good idea?


I think I'm having the adult equivalent to a kid's TEMPER TANTRUM !

Well, if I was anyone else that's what I'd think! Things are not going my way... so pack a sad.... stoooopid me.

Today we watched all the Harley Davidson bikes come through town, on one of them was a blogger friend from Wellington, Helena, and her hubby Craig. Hope to catch up with them tomorrow for brunch.

Had lunch at Aqaba, nice but would have been nicer without Griffin... he manages to spoil most outings by being a little prick. I don't like him much some days, today being one of them.

Bought some stuff to make a picture... don't know who for or anything, just need to be doing something. It's costing a lot more than usual for the materials so might end up keeping it, we will see .....

I will probably start the painting stage on Monday, for now I have to nut out position of letters etc.

Our nasty neighbours have finally got themselves a Real Estate Agent to sell their house.... yipee now I can return the 'favour' and poach their buyers too! AND to make me madder yet, they have advertised their house as being 360 sq metres big, and we know FOR A FACT that it is only 260 sq metres!!!! Ours is 300 sq metres... and selling for less too boot! Just you watch me sort that little deception out for them! False advertising and all that! GRRRRR.

End of Day: His nibs is once again watching rugby.... and I'm in bed.... not that I wanted him to join me! I would have probably bitch slapped him if he's tried "anything" ! I am so not nice.

NSV: I think I gained this week, serve me right. nite nite.

FRIDAY, MOOD - GRUMPY.. GET USED TO IT.

I have been doing my daily blog, just not publishing it.... well I'm going to now.... cos I miss the feedback! I miss all your bloody comments.... it's SOMETIMES the only contact I get with other people some days and without it I'm feeling worse! So here I am ....BACK AGAIN... DAMMIT.

It's 5 am and I'm wide awake! Got up at 4 to take Griffin to the loo and ... can't get back to sleep.
Today:

- kids to school
- pick up Stew's prescription from Dr.
- Lunch with JennyT
- Pick up kids
- Haircut at 4pm
- Pick up Stew from Airport at 6pm

I'm also going to buy some paint and canvas's... and do some painting. I wanted to a while ago but Stew said "NO, wait till we get to Auckland before you start that again".... well I'm sick of doing nothing creative! So I'm getting some stuff and will set it up in the garage....

I cleared out the garage last night, put the 'extra' furniture down in the garden shed, put the trailer back on the front lawn, too bad if it's an eyesore to 'potential buyers'... I need the space.

I spent a lot of time yesterday trying not to cry.... I visited Izzy at Anne's farm... that was hard. But lovely too, she is so happy out there. It just makes me so grumpy when Stew rings and tells me all about his busy days.... I do nothing! I'm bored and lonely most of the time...

I go to town just to be around people... and to have the odd conversation with an adult, hell it doesn't even matter that it's just a shop assistant! Anyone will do! How sad it that? That's how I'm feeling right now, bored and isolated, sad.

Today has the potential to be a bit better. I hope so anyway.

End of Day, did most of what I wanted... did not get the paint etc yet. Picked up Stew... oh yeah! Instead of sitting in the lounge on me own... I'm in my bedroom....cos he's in the lounge watching fuckin rugby on his own... stuffed if I'm watching fuckin rugby. He might as well have stayed in Auckland! Can you tell I'm still grumpy?

NSV: NONE. nite nite.

TO BLOG... OR NOT.... THAT IS THE QUESTION.

I'm torn... between enjoying blogging.. and not !

My family like it cos it keeps them 'up to date' on what's going on 'at home'... I know this.

Some of my friends like it too it seems, for whatever reason?

For me? I am finding it a fag.... really.. who the hell wants to hear about my shopping trips, my housework, my annoying kids, my up and down weight loss efforts? I know I don't anymore! I am feeling 'over it' and have for quite a while....


So maybe I am thinking seriously of stopping. I mean seriously.

I have really enjoyed using this medium to record my daily doings, and getting to know so many other bloggers... but I'm not enjoying it anymore... it's like a 'job' keeping up to date with what all my 'regular' blogger friends are doing... so anyway, I'm thinking of stopping for a while...


***I actually think I am quite depressed at the moment, and trying to put a "Happy Face" on my blog is getting very hard to do......I'm NOT HAPPY, and I'm over pretending I am.***


Maybe I will give it a break for a few days and see how I feel....so if I don't update tomorrow, don't panic, there is nothing wrong with me... I'm just taking a break to see how it feels! STARTING NOW..

GRIFFIN IS ONE SICK LITTLE BUGGER!

Isn't this just the most adorable photo? My little kids reading a book! Well that's what I thought.... Griffin hates school... reading and writing.. he only goes to play and eat his lunch! So I was wrapt to see him engrossed in a book he had brought home from the school library last night!

I asked him what was so interesting about the book and he said ....... "the gorilla has tits" ! My bubble popped! He is sick that boy!

Not sure what I have planned for today, kids to school obviously (and THAT book can go back!).... might try for a walk even if it's raining! Actually, I hope it is raining, it helps keep me cool! And it's even better for all the poor farmers around the country who are struggling with a drought! I don't think I better go to town again.... I have quite enough dresses for now!

Morning: went for a walk, it was perfect weather, cloudy and cooler...no rain though.

Lunchtime: met my friend Chris D in town for lunch.... I as bad. Let's leave it there!

This afternoon... I'm hoping to get Mike to clean the outside of me car! It only gets done about once a year....he's got today and tomorrow off work so he's home to do it... he just got up out of bed and it's 1.15pm... wonder how lucky I will get? OR not.

TOTALLY not feeling well.... got a sore tummy, cracker of a headache... maybe that pie I had for lunch was not good! Or.... the monthly is a-coming... either way I'm not feeling too good.... might go lie down for a while. Kids can just watch TV this afternoon and BEHAVE! Or I might have to kill them. (joking you understand)

Seems I have two shows of getting Mike to clean my car.... a shit show and no show! Little areshole.. I'm going on STRIKE! He can cook his own friggin dinner, do his own bloody washing .. I'm over doing it all for his useless lazy arse.

And I've been doing a lot of thinking today (well for a while actually) and I've made a decision about something.... and will reveal it tomorrow. For now

End of Day (early)... I'm tired and not feeling happy at all.

NSV: I'm still feeling positive about a little loss or a maintain this week.... even though I'm battling a lot of fluid retention this week. nite nite.

REAL ESTATE AND ME

Yesterday...The Real Estate BOSS Tim blew me away by suggesting I become an Estate Agent! Why? Cos he reckons I have just the right attitude to do well... I'm a no bullshit, say it like it is type of person!

Well, he's right there!

He even expressed regret that I was leaving cos he would have loved to take me on! Talk about a boost to my ego.

I was flattered... and maybe once we are settled in Auckland I will investigate the possibilities... Ya never know!

But for now.... it's another day... kids have to be gotten off to school... housework needs doing.... all the usual crapola, and I feel like a train wreck! Got very little sleep last night, not sure why.

I went to town to pick up my charm bracelet, which used to only have 1 charm on...


a special aquamarine stone from a ring I used to own... anyways I get in there and she says "the jeweller has put on the new charms (2) and strongly recommends you get the link from the original charm soldered as well". (an added $45) ... WHAT THE FUCK? I see RED because the bloody thing HAD been soldered on, and when I put that bloody bracelet in there it was solid as a rock! The sales lady believed me fortunately... cos she's getting it fixed for free....... the link had been deliberately cut! Not the jewllery shop's doing luckily. So, I leave there almost in tears cos I'm so upset that some dick messed with my bracelet just to get a miserable extra $45 !
I walked directly to the dress shop and bought me the TWIN of yesterday's dress, in black and white.... I FEEL BETTER NOW.

Need to go do a bit of housework now....

Still struggling with the diet .... had too much lunch & afternoon tea... but am going to try and have a good dinner, bought some smoked fish... yum!

I had smoked Hoki for dinner, it was far too greasy and I did not like it... and now I keep burping bloody fish... .IKKKKKK.

End of Day, a mixed bag as per usual. Don't see anything of our son Steve and his fiance anymore now they are both working... I miss them! I don't miss the mess they made here though! Mike is getting good at being HELPFUL now Stew is away too. Maybe he's finally growing up?

NSV: I did good today, but I don't recommend Smoked Hoki! nite nite.

STEW HAS GONE.... AM I SAD?

Well.... YES... and NO !

Yes, cos I love him to bits!

No, cos he drives me nuts sometimes!

When he's not here I say to myself "OK, you have to do it all, so just get on with it"....

When he's home I kinda expect him to do all the 'usual' bloke stuff... you know, empty the bins, put the rubbish out... empty the bins....

And he must 'forget' sometimes how much I HATE full/overflowing rubbish bins in me pantry.... and I feel mad cos he lets them get so bloody full!

When I'm on me own they get emptied the second they are full... not once they are overflowing out the freaking door!

So, I'm happy when he's not here sometimes too!

OK, rant over! Today: kids to school, then... I'm hitting the shops for some stress relief! I NEED IT....
I have been shopping... I bought:

These cute as boxes... now all I have to do is find a use for them! Probably toiletries/makeup/hair products?

Can't wait to see if these VACUM bags work! I've got masses of blankets and pillow taking up so much room in the cupboards!

I also bought a neat new dress and black shrug - thingee.... will get a photo up one I've done the hair! I look a fright right now cos its like TROPICAL out there right now! Rain then sun... talk about humid! So, me hair is frizzing all over the place, so NOT a good look!

This morning I rang THE BOSS of our Real Estate Agency.... and expressed my concerns about lack of communication, and a few other things.. and he's coming to see me this afternoon! EEEKKKK... I hope I can put my views and dissatisfaction across without sounding like a bitch!

the new dress and shrug... not a good photo, could not get the lighting right, but you get the drift... the dress has a black band around the bottom, and it's above the knee... I might wear it with black leggings.

Had a very good meeting with the BOSS MAN... lots of issues resolved hopefully. Something very funny happened while he was here!

Brylee saw him and said "Are you our NEW DADDY while our OLD DADDY is in Auckland"? Tim and I just laughed over that one! So funny! Hmmm wonder where she got the idea I could get a new man while Stew was away? NOT likely babe!

End of Day: totally could not stick to the diet today.. not sure why but one thing is for sure, DAMAGE CONTROL starts tomorrow! Might even try to get to the pool! God that would be nice!

NSV: Limited myself to only 2 slip ups today, this is good (it could have been much, much worse!). nite nite.

I AM NOT BAKING BREAD, FULL STOP, END OF STORY.

I am DONE with busting a gut to present the house 'perfectly'...

- I will clean

- dust and polish

- vacum and tidy up

- I will not: bake bloody bread

- scream and shout at everyone

- get stressed out and shitty

When the 'right' people walk through that door it won't matter if there is a speck of dust on my table, or if the bedspread is not perfect... they will see past all that shit and just love THE HOUSE.

So, I'm trying to take a 'chill pill' today....

I was so very happy about my weigh in yesterday that I am not going to ruin my weekend by going nuts today. Like I said yesterday, what will be - will be.

Stew goes back to Auckland tomorrow.... no more long vistas for him down here.... just weekends from now on. It's been great having him home, but he has to get back to work!

So.... we get everything tidy... I wash the floors at 12 which gives them an hour to dry before the Open Home... and bugger me if the Agent turns up at 12.15 !!! Seems they changed our Open Home time without telling us! What fuckwits! So, people come to look at the house and all the floors are freaking WET... how piss poor is that! I am NOT HAPPY... and the worst thing... we are tied into a contract with this Agency till mid April, fuck it. If I had my way we would be cancelling it and going to someone else! But we signed their bloody contract eh?

End of Day: I held it together, did not lose the plot at all! Yipee.

NSV: Ummmmm... had fish and chips for dinner! BAD BAD. nite nite.

LOOK OUT FOXTON, I'M COMING!

Today my friend Chris D and I are off to Foxton for morning tea... that ginger crunch has my name on it! I am allowing myself 1 day 'off' a week, where I can have something evil... so today it will be GINGER CRUNCH in Foxton! Lets pretend I didn't actually already have a piece this week eh? LOL (Jenny T, we will be at that Coffee Shop I mentioned earlier in the week around 11am).

When I get home ( around midday ) I shall weigh in.... I am hoping for at least a kilo.... hell I NEED at least a kilo to be gone... I have worked really hard almost all week and I DESERVE it! Keep your fingers crossed for the next update... later

I couldn't wait ! So I weighed already... and...... ........ .......... ...................
I LOST : 1.6 KILOS !!! So I have lost 3.1 kgs in 6 weeks, an average of .5 a week, so "ON TARGET"... YA HOOOOOO !
I'm wrapt! How cool, I finally have a handle on this bloody weight again.... now I can go have a piece of cake and a coffee with me girlfriends.

We had a wonderful morning tea, ended up with Me, Chris D, Jenny T and her 'surrogate Grandson' and Sandra (our Weight Watcher Leader) all having a lovely catch up ! I got to cluck over an 8 month old adorable wee boy! I love babies! The GINGER CRUNCH was soooo worth driving 20 minutes for! And I bought some Bacon N' Egg Pie and Carrot Cake for Stew and Mike's dinner as well.... so that's their dinner taken care of! Wooo hooo.

The photo does NO JUSTICE to the true size of these portions! Don't ya just hate me now for posting photos of evil food! LOL

Can you all tell how happy I am today? I am feeling like "oh hell, what will be will be" in relation to the house sale, I need to stop stressing so much and just accept what will be. It will sell, and we will get to Auckland.. all in good time. FATE people, I believe in Fate, so it will happen when it's supposed to.

JAXX: you are welcome sweetie, enjoy!

End of a lovely day.... didn't get much done but hey, I'm happy!

NSV: it was all THE SCALES today I'm afraid! Still buzzing ... nite nite.

ITS FRIDAY, THAT'S ORIGINAL EH?

Ok, last night I was grumpy, hope today is better! Maybe I need to go do some more retail therapy?

It's been a funny week with the kids starting school, having Stew home, public holiday smack bang in the middle of the week... and now I've got the weekend looming and yet another Open Home on Sunday. This house selling (or not bloody selling !) is really doing me head in!

I spend quite a bit of time every day looking at houses up in Auckland on the 'net..... knowing that we are still in NO position to buy and move.... that also does me head in!

Yesterday I was so grumpy in the evening I did not read ANY blogs... so that is kinda first on me list today... see what everyone has been up to. I feel guilty when I don't ..... this blogging is HARD WORK! But, I do love it!

I am proud of myself for NOT throwing a hissy yesterday and stuffing me face too... some things are going right!

WANNA... told me off! I must stop being so grumpy! OK YA TART!

We got mail.... how cool! Me Mum has been shopping....

She can't resisit linen.... so the kids have a GORGEOUS new beach towel each...

And we have some lovely new duvet covers and matching sheets. How lovely... has brightened up me grumply old self.

I'm having a lovely quiet morning.. must pull finger in a mo and get the washing out... then I might do....NOTHING!

- Stew came home with essential supplies (Diet Coke)

- Just had the front door lock changed, some bugger has been dicking with our locks.

- Am off to pick up the kids from school.

- Struggling to stay 'up beat' today... must go shopping... must go shopping....

End of Day: did bugger all, but held it together on the diet front. Starting to feel very tired and weak.. no carbs will do that to you!

NSV: I did not go shopping, Stew will be relieved! nite nite.

GOT REMINDED OF SOMETHING GRIFFIN SAID....

I want to share a special moment with you:

A while ago Griffin came up to me and said...

G : Mum, I came out of your tummy eh?

Me : No mate, you came out of Lacy's tummy, and Lacy came out of my tummy cos I am her Mum. Remember, I am your Grandma AND your Mummy.

G : So, if I came out of Lacy's tummy... and she was in your tummy... well I must have been in your tummy too when I was in Lacy's tummy!!!

Now, how bloody clever is that logic? And from a 5 year old too. I was kinda gobsmacked and didn't have an answer for that one!

The things kids say eh? Anyways.... onwards with this day... the kids are back at school, Stew is working here in Palmy for the next two days then he's back to Auckland.

The DIET is going great, I am totally confident of a good-ish loss come saturday..... bring it on! I am amazed at how well I feel after cutting out all bread/pasta/starchy vegetables/ rice/sweets and cakes!!! I was expecting to feel sluggish and lacking energy, but it's just the opposite. I am missing the bread and potoatoes though.... but will reintroduce a tiny amount in a few weeks, once I feel confident that I will not SLIP UP again.

SPIDER UPDATE: he got introduced to flyspray, then he went on a one way trip down the gurgler.... ikkk.

I have been to town... bought a dress ... maybe to wear to Lee Anne's wedding? Not sure yet. It's kinda TIGHT across the chest and torso.... so will fit perfect in a few weeks hopefully! And YES, I know it's BLACK, but you have to wear what you are comfortable in eh?

It has these really funky beads around the neck and bottom flounce.... I'm loving it.

I also spent an hour with Chris D at the hospital Cafe, just yakking... was nice.

I am feeling hungry today....VERY HUNGRY...But I am trying hard to resist the urge to go nuts. JUST.

End of Day: it's been a mixed bag... neat morning/midday, felt grumpy and hungry in the afternoon... and so-so this evening.

NSV: I did not fall off the wagon when I was feeling grumpy... but it WAS HARD. nite nite.

IT'S A PUBLIC HOLIDAY, SO NO SCHOOL TODAY...

How mean, the kids are at school for just two days then get a day off! Grrrrrrr, no peace today then!

Well actually I take that back, I'm not going to be around for a while today as I am going to the hospital with my friend Chris D to visit her husband.... the poor bugger is having a very rough time right now, and I felt the need to support her today. And of course, see him and try and pep up his spirits... I'll probably call him a 'lazy old bugger who just wanted to perv at the nurses"....that should make him laugh!

OK, maybe not.... but he won't appreciate me going in there all maudlin eh? How the hell do you visit someone who is terminally ill and not make them feel worse? I'm worried I will say the 'wrong' thing, put me foot in me mouth, whatever. Maybe I'll just be 'me' and prattle on as per usual! Fuck I don't know. It's so different when it's someone you know.

Anyway, that's the only plan I have for today so far.....oh except for STAYING ON TRACK! And I'm feeling really confident that I can.

The visit with Chris and Dave went well! I don't think I put me foot in it... LUCKILY! I did ask him about the nurses... and he informed me that they were all FAT and not nice to perv at! Shame! LOL.

Chris and I went on to have a lovely brunch together and a good chat.... just what she needed I reckon. I feel guilty about leaving when she is going to need her friends the most (if we EVER get to Auckland!)... but I hope she knows I am always going to be there for her... even if it's only over the phone.

We went to town this afternoon and I had a mini splurge on pamper products! Some moisturiser, hair products, a file thingee for me feet, foot creme..... and a new hair colour kit.

Lunchtime.... Griffin saw this bugger on the floor:

It's now under a bowl on the dining room table, right behind my back as I sit here... it is CREEPING ME OUT.... but I can't bring myself to kill it.... or put it out in the garden either! I hate spiders and this bugger is BIG... and I have no idea what sort of spider he is.... he ain't a white tail.... *shivers*

End of Day: the spider still lives, might get Stew to despose of it... it just freaks me out.

NSV: Had a fantastic day, no slip ups ... no dramas, no stresses. nite nite.

WELL WE HAD SOME RAIN, BUT NOW IT'S GONE

It was nice while it lasted.... but I'm happy it's gone cos today Stew and I plan on going over to the beach for a nice long walk ... just as soon as we get the kids to school.

And I want to check out Foxton's shops... OK stop laughing Jenny T, I know that is going to take me all of 5 minutes! But I have never done it so dats what I wanna do!

After that we will no doubt have lunch in town, so all in all it will be a nice morning I'm sure.

SCHOOL IS BACK.... YEAH BABY!

What more can I say? I'm a happy mummy!

And to make the day even better, Stew is home for the next 2 days "on holiday"... so we can spend the day together, just the two of us!

Didn't hear from the Real Estate Agent last night, so we presume nothing is happening on the sale front.... BUGGER, DAMN AND BLAST. We will continue to wait for that elusive buyer...

Stew and I took the kids to school, both cried when we left them! Goodness only knows how they will cope when we have to put them in a totally new school!

After that we went for a walk... not too far or fast... I'm so out of shape and Stew has a dicky knee ....

A bit later on we are going to the MOVIES.... there will be NO POPCORN, ICECREAM OR LOLLILES..... I am so fired up and determined to maintain the losses. I can't wait till weigh in next Saturday! I am sure I will lose another kilo! Well, I can hope anyway.

Stew and I went to the movies and saw "Charlie Wilson's War"...

Staring my most Favourite Male Actor, Tom Hanks. We really enjoyed it, a different sort of movie from the 'shoot em up's and comedy's' we usually see. WE both liked it... it was thought provoking and in all a very good movie. Julia Roberts was kinda UNATTRACTIVE in this movie! Awful hair do's and clothes... and a serious role for her, no huge laughs and gorgeous smile. But still good!

After the movies we did the grocery shopping and got home just in time for Stew to pick up the kids from school. Phew, a busy afternoon, I'm now cleaning out the bloody fridge in the kitchen. OH WHAT FUN.

Real Estate update: our agent rang, those Wellington 'buyers' are still very VERY keen on buying the house, and we MIGHT be hearing from them within the next week or two, they just have to 'sort out a few things' first. FINGERS ARE STILL CROSSED THEN.

Is anyone wondering if I had any of these at the movies?

I didn't! And I feel so good! TOTALLY ON TRACK and so happy ...

End of Day, it's been a neat day, finished off by a lovely sauna.

NSV: Feeling more and more confident that I CAN stay on track again! And it's raining for the first time in weeks! nite nite.

MY 9 X 10 KILO DRESSES.....

Here they are:

9 dresses I have bought in the last year... that simply don't fit me very well.... and I need to lose 10 kilos so they do! And I bloody well will...... I am feeling so good! Much more energetic, much less sluggish... and so much HAPPIER since I pulled me finger out.

Hmmmmm.... Griffin got a bit to 'cocky' on his bike last night:

The little twit did in both his knees, so today we are off to get him some knee pads and whatever else is available to protect him. He is ALWAYS doing this!

It's an Open Home again this afternoon.... so should really get moving and do some housework...

I don't think so, but it was a nice thought.

I am seriously thinking of going "APPOINTMENT ONLY VIEWING" of our home... that way I don't have the pressure of Open Homes, and keeping the house SPOTLESS all the time! Any ideas on that people? Cos I am getting so tired of all this shit ....people coming into my home who are just rubber necking and the constant cleaning.

Only two groups through the house today, felt really PISSED OFF and CRABBY... but today ... I did not pig out to make myself feel better... I am proud of that! I am though, packing a wobbly with everyone else around me... just cos sometimes I can be a right BITCH! I am grumpy, so why should I smile?

God I'm so not nice.... why does Stew even like me!

End of Day: another seemingly wasted effort with the Open Home, I'm bummed out. But not getting fatter!

NSV: I kept my mouth closed.... I did not cave in a comfort eat. nite nite.

TODAY:

MAYBE NOT:

MORNING TEA WITH THE GIRLS:

HANG IN THERE AND DON'T WAVER FROM THE DIET PLAN:
HAVE MY FIRST EVER PEDICURE:

LASTLY, DO SOME BLOODY HOUSEWORK:

I will update much later... I got 'stuff' to do!

OH MY GOD!!!! I've been PETRIFIED to get on the scales in the last 3 weeks... so sure I had gained at least 5 kilos.... and bugger me!!!

I LOST 1 kilo !!! Someone slap me, that is just so AMAZING!!!!

Morning tea... was lovely, except poor wee Jorja (Janene's wee girl) was not well and ended up throwing up all over the coffee shop's floor! Apart from that little hiccup, it was neat to see all the girls.

The Pedicure: was LOVELY... I now have nice smooth heels and bright red toenails..... feels sexy!

Am home and ... no family. Dunno where Stew's taken the kids, but it's so quiet...BLISS.

BUGGER .... THEY CAME HOME. (ain't I nice?)

End of Day: Stew's off playing Indoor Netball with the boys as a ring-in.... I'm left with two hyper kids.... who will be going to bed soon!

NSV: I tried on some dresses tonight, and while they are rather tight, I felt good about it, cos this weight is going ..... slowly but surely. nite nite.

FAR OUT, SOME DAYS I END UP WRITING A BOOK!

Yesterday... I did go on a bit eh? I will try not to give you all a horror/long post today!

I LIE sometimes..... about staying on track..... but yesterday.... I DID STAY ON TRACK! And today.... I am going to do it AGAIN. I know each and every day will be a challenge - to turn the gains around and become that rather good looking woman again. I am vain, I think I looked good at 70 kgs, so .... I am heading there again.

No more crying while stuffing my mouth full of crap..... I hate feeling like such a failure.

Today is another chance to make myself feel fantastic.... to smile and be happy.... and...... it's only 3 more sleeps till the kids go back to school! Ya bloody hoooooo.

Next Monday... another small change.... I am going to drop the kids off at school and then go swimming .... and I am going to do that at least twice a week. I love swimming! Small steps....

The kids and I are going to have lunch in town with Stew today.... my immediate thought was "Fuck, what can I eat that doesn't have any carbs?"... and I felt a bit down.... until my memory kicked in ....

CHICKEN SALAD... YUMMY YUMMY..... ok, without all the salad dressing maybe. You can eat out healthily, YOU CAN.

So, we went to lunch, I ordered a chicken salad, forgot to say "hold the crispy noodles", so had to take them all off.... which I DID.... feeling like I did well. I also had... a big glass of ice. Perfect.

I am starting to get a good headache, no doubt from witholding all the carbs.. better go take a painkiller pill... or I will be miserable later.

I'm hanging in there, just. Stew is home and cooking dinner ...steak and whatever! I had some watermelon....and felt bad cos it was probably full of sugar. But so nice! It's so hot today... we are having a long hot summer for sure.

End of Day: and I made it through another day ON TRACK, no lies!!! Stew just ate a bowl full of nuts/fruit/seeds.. I had NONE!

NSV: I didn't eat the noodles, I did stay on track. nite nite.