Tuesday, August 14, 2012

WHERE THERE IS A WILL... THERE IS A WAY

I am going to say this again...


IF it was AT ALL possible ... I would be on the very next plane heading to Perth, then jumping on a train to Kalgoorlie, then on a bus to Kambalda... to be with my son, his partner and their kids.  
It is killing me inside knowing that there is NOTHING I can do to help them through this tough time with their newborn son being ill.

It is all very well readers saying 'where there is a will, there is a way' and 'sell some stuff on Trademe' and 'use your Credit Card' etc.  But excuse me:

-Don't you think I haven't racked my brains to find a way?

-I don't actually have anything to sell on Trademe that is going to raise at least 2 thousand dollars in a hurry!  And I don't have one of these either:

ABOVE: if you have one of these in your backyard... let me know ... I'll visit you!

- And if I had at least 2 thousand dollars leeway on our Credit Card... I would use it!

- And I'm QUITE sure me standing on a corner ain't gunna work either ... *shudder at the thought*  (that is just a joke btw)

Without going into finer details about our finances (which is none of any one's business but ours) ... just take my word for it... we CANNOT afford for me to just pop over to Australia right now.

Why I feel I have to JUSTIFY why I can't go over to Australia is upsetting... and does not help how I am feeling at all.  

I'm already upset enough thanks.

TODAY:  I'm going to pick Lacy up and take her to the mall so she can do her grocery shopping.
That is all I have on my horizon today.

Well... that, and keep in touch with the family in Australia as much as I can without becoming a text pest!

BODHI UPDATE:  he has Bronchiolitis AND a urinary track infection ... and 'something' not quite right with his blood.  Still waiting on blood test results.  

He was doing a bit better yesterday, he was off the oxygen and nursing again.  BUT last night he had to go back on the oxygen as his oxygen sats dipped too low.

Hopefully I'll hear from Tess again this morning with more updates.

ONWARD..

Tess just been in contact... Bodhi is now off oxygen (again) as babies his age can become too dependant on it... so he's on nebulisers every two hours to help his oxygen sats.



ABOVE: Tess and Bodhi, doing as well as can be expected.  Poor Tess looks knackered, I hope she is looking after herself too... can't have Mum sick too!

ANON:  sorry Chick, you could be one of MANY readers in Aussy, so I'm not too sure who you are!

I had a plan to pay off our ONE Credit Card debt too.. but shit keeps cropping up... but in a few weeks I too hope to be able to put aside money each week into an 'emergency fund', and to slowly pay off the ONE Credit Card we have.  I'm a shocking 'impulse shopper'... and once I get an idea in my head, I've gotta have it!  Edit:  within REASON of course!!!  

OMG Jackie.... really???
I do not have an addiction to shopping.  
Yes I do enjoy shopping, but so do millions of other people.

I have made the mistake of not having an 'emergency' fund... but I bet millions of people are in the same boat.

I am just gobsmacked at your comment to tell the truth.
Have I EVER questioned your spending?  Perhaps if you put your purchases on your blog I can go through them and decide what is a NECESSITY and what's not???
To say I'm rather cross right now would be an understatement.

Come to think of it... a puppy was not a necessity, but I was kind enough to allow you to pay her off over a couple of months.  edit:  this was NOT NICE of me to mention, and I apologise to Jackie unreservedly.  As she has mentioned it in a comment that I published, it is a bit late to take it down now, otherwise I would.  

A lot of 'things' of higher price are paid off over time in this house too... like the two new beds we got recently.

ANON:  BUT OF COURSE...my camera goes everywhere.  If I do feel like standing on a corner... I'll be sure to take a photo for you... lol!   THANKS FOR THE LAUGH!!!


ABOVE:  LACY bought a Bouncer thingee for Keera, and the cute wee elephant activity toy... we named the elephant 'Sylvia'   ... cos she came from Sylvia Park Mall!  



ABOVE:  Little Miss Muppet, so darn cute.
Lacy has come home with me, and is going to stay a couple of days so I can do the night feeds for her.  Lacy is getting really tired, so it's the least I can do for her.

Yes, I do live for the moment.  Yes I do spend money on non essentials.  Yes I do feel guilty that I cannot be with Russell and his family when they are going through this tough time.  Yes, I am learning from this for sure.
I try NOT to feel 'attacked' by certain comments..... if my reactions are a bit 'strong' I apologise.
Hindsight is a great thing.

I think ONE big thing I have learnt is that I put far too much personal stuff on this blog.  I will be more careful from now on, you can bet on it.

PINKY:  Griffin had a great time on his sleep over!  The Dad said Griffin was a lovely boy to have over... and he had an EXCELLENT appetite!
lol

Stew and Griffin are now on camp... and I forgot to do one thing... weigh Griffin before he left!   I'm thinking he will lose some weight while on camp!  Stew probably will too.

SOME PEOPLE ARE TRULY AMAZING AND HAVE HUGE HEARTS.... and that is all I have to say!  THANK YOU M.  YOU ROCK.

I talked to Stew this evening... he's knackered!  Very busy at camp it would appear.

I asked how Griffin was... and Stew said he had a really excellent, but tiring day!  His first session was Kayaking ... he fell out 3 times!

Then they had a 'Problem Solving' session, and apparently Griffin became a natural  'Leader' and was AMAZING... Awww my heart swelled with pride hearing that.

I asked about food... dinner was chicken/salads/and so on, and they had dessert too.
I asked Stew if Griffin got enough to eat (knowing our boy, he eats like a horse) and Stew said Griffin had seconds of the main and THIRDS of the dessert!!!
Well.. Maybe our boy WON'T be losing any weight after all.  *laughing*

End of Day:  it's been INTERESTING, but not upsetting.  I must learn to stop and THINK before jumping down people's throats. 
nite nite.

ANON:  the one who mentioned my rug/hospice shop purchases and Lacy's DPB etc ... I am not giving you the satisfaction of even publishing your shitty comment.
ANON/KAREN:  point taken.  

47 comments:

  1. Still thinking of you all. Hope today has positive news for you all.keep fighting little chap.

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  2. Thinking of you Chris and your family now, keep strong.(((((HUGS)))))

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  3. I wiah there was something I could do to help. All I can offer is to let you know that I'm keeping all of you in my prayers. Hugs...

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  4. Big hugs chris and dont justify your circumstances to anyone try to have a good day and hope good news comes soon

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  5. Hi Chris,

    I've been reading for a while but haven't commented. Just wanted to say that having a mum or grandmother thinking of you and being on the phone/text/email or whatever DOES really help. It's not nothing. You are giving a lot of energy to Russell, Tessa and their family, while looking after your whanau here too. Hang in there.

    All the best, Mary.

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  6. Glad wee bodhi is doing ok. I know what you mean about wanting to be there, my best friends husband has a brain tumor and they to are in Aus so many times I have wished they still lived across the road from us but we dont have the dollars either so all I can offer her is email support......its so hard :)

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  7. I'm sorry you have been pressured. You couldn't really DO anything for them even if you did go besides moral support. Bodhi is right where he needs to be, in the hospital getting treatment and getting well. Little newborns are fragile and tough in one package deal. I'm praying for your anxiety and (your knicked bits, tee hee)the babies healing.
    God loves you and your family and He wants your little wee baby well.
    Take it easy.
    Stay off of the local street corners too----whew!
    love ya my friend.

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  8. ((((HUGS)))))

    It's hard to be so far away.

    Hope you'll be OK once Stu and Griffin have left fo camp.

    Have your family on your mind praying for the best.

    Blessings.

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  9. It's a hard situation Chris... Hang in there friend.

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  10. Anonymous8:55 AM

    I wasn't going to share this but I will. Its a bit personal but you share so much with us, so...here goes

    A few years ago our finances were terrible - $27K in CC debt. Yes that's right - not $2,700 but $27,000! I was spending money like it was nothing and kidding myself I was happy but I wasn't.

    My Pa got very ill and we were told he probably wouldn't live the night. I didn't have the money to get on a plane so had to drive 6 hours, wondering if I'd be in time. I was thankfully...but it scared me so much that I resolved to get my finances in order. I paid off the CC debt (it took 3 years of pain!) and saved a $10k slush fund (another 2 years of $100 a week being put away) so if anything happened to our family in QLD (10 hours drive) we could take the time off work and be there.

    It's really helped us knowing we are ready and $$ able if something happy or sad happens.

    Big decision to share this, hope you understand the anon on this one...I'm sure you know who it is by the writing style though.

    Big love chick!

    B xxx

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  11. Thinking of you and your family today. Glad Bodhi's condition has improved somewhat. You have done and will continue to do right by your kids, so stay strong and don't justify anything to anyone. My goodness, some people will say anything!

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  12. Still thinking of you and your family. Hope Bodhi gets better and better. The blogosphere is pulling for him!

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  13. Anonymous10:01 AM

    That little precious Bodhi!! So glad to read that he is improving. I know it is slowly, but at least he seems peaceful and he is where he needs to be right now.

    Chris - you owe no one an explanation of why you can't go, and for anyone to question you about it, or, try to make you feel bad about it, well, shame on them.

    The important thing is that you "can" stay in touch with Russell and Tess and give them all of the love and encouragement that your can over the phone, skype, etc.

    Take care of yourself!! XOXO

    Ky Girl

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  14. No you don't have to justify, but I am assuming most people like me think you have money with the way you spend it.... you seem to have no trouble spending a few hundred dollars on what is not necessities. And also you don't need thousands of dollars to get there, you have admitted you are a shopaholic, people get help for that, maybe talking to your psychologist if you already have not could be an idea.
    I have noticed over the years reading your blog, that spending money makes you happy, it is an addiction that I think you need to get on top off....

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  15. Sending good vibes your way. I'm sorry you felt pressured to explain yourself.

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  16. Anonymous12:24 PM

    OK, well since I haven't offended you :) I will tell you how we did it.

    First thing I did was look at the interest alone we were paying each month - it was shocking. We had 4 CC so I rang each one and bargained with them to reduce the % interest we paid - all but one gave me a better rate! I then opened a zero % balance transfer CC with another bank and put as much of the debt from the highest percentage interest rate CCs as I could onto that. I can still remember the figures! I put $15K on that and was left with $12K over two cards.

    I then looked at what we spent and where our money was going, and most of it was on eating out and eBay purchases. I stopped even LOOKING on eBay (very hard!) and said we are still buying take out once a week BUT once was it! So no sneaky burger at lunch, no cheap Tuesday Thai, no food court, just ONE meal a week. We ate at home for the rest. And that HURT! :D

    In the past we had made the mistake of paying as much money off our CC as possible, leaving ourself short almost every fortnight, so we worked out when we wanted to be out of debt by, made a spreadsheet with the projected debt level and started working. I still have the spread sheet with the formula in it if you want it!

    We had to pay $275 a week off the cards to get out of debt. It hurt a LOT. We bought nothing but the essentials, and I came to realise just how much I used shopping to self-medicate.

    Half way through the process we wrote our car off and had to buy another, and that set us back a while, but I was DETERMINED to pay those CC off. We didn't buy anything for the week until the rent and CC debt had been paid, and if we coulnd't pay cash for it, we saved until we had the money. Even with the new car - it took us 4 months to get the money together for a new one but we just caught buses. When we didn't have the money to pay the electricity bill, I rang and got an extension rather than put it on card.

    I kept opening zero % balance transfer cards and pushing the debt around so we wouldn't pay interest.

    You have to be DETERMINED to do it...but it's an amazing feeling when you make that last payment!!!

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  17. you do not have to justify yourself to anyone. Those of us who know & care know you would be there in a heartbeat. Just them knowing your are thinking of them & the phone calls will be keeping their spirits up.

    I need to stop bloody spending money too!!!!

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  18. Anonymous1:18 PM

    Pleased the boy is still fighting.
    If you go 4 the street corner can you take your camera please!!Lol

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  19. Be angry at me that's fine, I don't put my purchases on my blog because I hardly ever spend money...When I do, I do put it on the blog like the vacuum cleaner and a couple of other things. Yes you did allow us to pay of Chico, and we were grateful for that and yes she is a luxury but I am the one not complaining all the time about money like you do. I am just saying how I see it from the outside. I can go 3 or 4 weeks without spending money apart from groceries... I don't have a nice car worth thousands, I don't have a spa pool, or have a blender or sewing machines for hobbies.... I am sorry but how I see it, is that you spend one hell of a lot more money than I ever do on what I call non necessities, and that is your choice... like I said I am just saying how I see it.

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  20. Chris, this is not a blame game. I see where Jackie is coming from.

    It is your business what you spend money on, I suppose it is just that we see your blog posts regarding your spending (as Jackie said). This is not aimed at making you angry, just stating how it is.

    If you need to go over for any reason could the kids have a whip round? God knows you do enough for them. Hopefully baby will be much better by the hour and it won't be necessary to go over :)

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  21. Anonymous2:05 PM

    Dear Everyone as I dont exactly know who says what....this is Lacy, I would like to say...for fuck sakes, leave my ma and her finances alone, Its honestly none of your god damn business, and if she could jump on a damn plane...trust me she bloody would...this is really hurting her to know she can't, as atm she simple CAN'T!!!!!!! So the next person who wants to give me ma shit...stop and think first, why should she have to bloody justify her personal buisness to anyone apart from her husband, and 'jackie' I dont know you but what colour are your eyes...Im thinking they might be green...hmm.

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  22. Chris my heart goes out to u all hun.
    I fly up on Sunday but guessing your in no mind for a catch up

    Hugs felicity xxxx

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  23. I am so sorry to hear of the difficulties that Bodhi is going through. You are all in my thoughts.

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  24. Well said Lacy.

    Chris, glad to hear Bodhi sounds a little better & hope he continues to improve.

    Please don't let "them" get you down.

    xo

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  25. Maria2:36 PM

    Chris you do live in the moment. You buy things you want and don't think about tomorrow, same with food you eat to please yourself and then wonder why you are unhappy with health and wait. We all do this to a certain extent, me included, but just stop the denial and really look at what you are doing. It is times like this that teach us all that we need savings for a rainy day more than a pretty vase, or lunch out at the mall (the biggest money waster of all eating out!) I truly hope the Bodhi gets well very soon. But I'd also like you to get real with yourself too. I'm not trying to be mean I just want you to treat yourself better.

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  26. If you can't, Chris, you just can't, no matter how much you want to. I'm sure Tess and Russell know how much you care...and also how thinly you are spread, emotionally, taking care of everyone at home. Not that you care two hoots what I think, but I do think you are doing a hell of a good job!

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  27. Anonymous2:39 PM

    Sorry Chris meant to put my sign of to the taking the camera on
    Well isn't Miss K just so alert.She so georgeous
    MaryH

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  28. I too see where Jackie is coming from, and perhaps part of it rings true a bit and that why you have reacted and got so angry?

    People comment out of love and concern, not just to attack you. And Lacy I know that you are defending your mother but there are a lot of readers who have helped your mum through things over the years, who have reached out and given advice. No-one is blaming her for not being able to go, no one is attacking her. And she's a big girl, she can stand up for herself!

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  29. Oh she is looking so cute!!!!
    Hey I might have missed it but how was the sleep over?

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  30. Thanks - big hugs Chris!

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  31. Oh chris, sending you a big fuzzy hug.

    I know that you would swim across the ditch if you could but you'd have a bloody long walk to WA!! Yay for technology so you can keep in touch so well.

    I don't usually buy into comment stuff but I would ask everyone to realise that Chris is stressed to the max with worry and I'm sure she has considered every option to get over to Oz so suggestions and comments on her financial status are not helping. If you think you really have some helpful advice (like anon from Oz) then keep it till Bodhi is better and email it to her privately IF SHE ASKS FOR IT.

    Off my soap box. Sorry Chris. But it was doing my head in seeing you so distressed.

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  32. Another drama filled day Aunty. You won't stop putting personal things on your blog, because that's why you have it. Your readers enjoy the personal touch, so don't change it! Try not reacting to it on your blog and just laugh at the comments. Aside from being in the same country, what more support can you give being in Perth anyway? They know you care and would be there if you could. Take a deep breath and ignore the comments, or don't blog and then you won't have to deal with it. Seems more trouble than happiness sometimes.
    Love ya and keep posting baby pics!! Lacy's little one is a cutey!!

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  33. I'm thinking of you and your family in this awful time for you all. I can't imagine how you all must be worrying about the poor little boy. I hope he gets all better soon and you can cover him in kisses when you first meet him.

    Take care.

    xxoo

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  34. I'm just really sad reading this, Chris. The post, the comments, everything.

    I love you. Use your comment moderation and love yourself too.

    This is just not the time to be giving a lesson in economics, people.

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  35. Hi Chris,

    I can't believe anyone (outside of your husband) would feel it is their right to say a word about your finances or spending habits!

    I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through! I continue to pray for you all.

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  36. I'm really sorry to hear that Bodhi isn't well at the moment Chris - but pleased that he is in the best place to get the care he needs right now. I hope that he's home healthy and well very soon.

    As for the not so positive comments today Chris - ignore them. It doesn't take a genius to see how much you love your family - and that you will do whatever you can to support them. Never feel that you have to justify your spending to anyone - that's totally your business. From where I sit, a lot of your purchases are for the benefit of others you care about anyway - so just another one of the kind ways you help look after others. Kia kaha Chris (stay strong!).

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  37. Anonymous7:23 PM

    Gawd Chris, when is your blog going private? I don't know where some people get off giving their 10 cents worth and make it $20 -about what, how, when and why...but if you had $5 for every criticism I have seen over the years, it would be "first class" travel all the way. I understand we all have an opinion, but too much we hide behind the written/text word and not enough of the face to face stuff. I bet not even a tenth of that which you seem to get on your blog would ever be said to your face.

    For once, Lacy, you rock!! (Congrats on Keera, a gorgeous wee bubba, am totally jealous btw). Well said and I hope everyone takes it to heart.

    If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all folks. I bet if it was you(well some of you) in a similar situation...well I just bet you wouldn't handle it with half of the "diplomacy" Chris is showing.

    If you don't agree with what she is saying, don't read her damn blog!!

    Best wishes to Bohdi and the family, fingers, arms, legs and eyes crossed (gorgeous pic is it not)...for a speedy recovery.

    Michele in the sunny Manawatu :-)

    PS. Probably haven't said half of what I would like to, but I am sure half of the criticism you get is because they (some readers) are just plain jealous. Your honesty about yourself and your circumstances be they good,bad or otherwise is refreshing ...love to you allxxxxxxxxxx

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  38. You must be so worried about your family. Try to relax and breathe deep. Big hugs for you Chris xx

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  39. Hang in there Chris, you're a fantastic Mum, a devoted grandma...and your heart is huge.
    Your little Aussie family know how you love them and if they really needed you with them YOU would find your way there...that I know.
    Love to all, hope G and S have a great time at camp.

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  40. I hope Bodhi and Tess are now on the road to mending, babies can get sick very quickly and bounce back quickly too, family always come first for you and that will never change I hope tomorrow there is better news for all concerned.

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  41. How neat to read Griffin had an awesome sleepover Griffin and Stew may need a holiday when camp is over just to CATCH up!! camps yes they can knock the stuffing out of you thats for sure!

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  42. Dear Chris,

    It is really evident that you would simply love to be with your son and his lovely family at the moment, but unfortunately you can't. Please don't feel that you need to justify your purchases. What you decide to spend your money on is your business. We all would love to have a money tree in the backyard.
    Keep in contact with your son via text and skpe and like all of us, keep sending positive thoughts his way.

    Don't be to hard on yourself, you are a terrific, loving person.

    Carol

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  43. Sounds like Griffin is loving camp, having been on several it is often surprising which kids thrive the most. This on the back of a successful sleepover has got to be great for his self esteem & confidence.

    It has been a long day but focus on the good stuff like Bodhi is doing ok, Lacy is doing a great job with Keera & Griffin is doing awesome at camp.

    Sweet dreams.

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  44. Good to hear the little one is improving. All the best to you and the family.

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  45. Anonymous2:44 AM

    Well put Jackie. You brave girl!

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  46. All I want you to know is that I'm sending my warmest wishes to you and ALL of your big, beautiful family. I hope sweet little Bodhi is doing better with each passing hour. I can't even imagine how hard this must be on ALL of you.

    With lots of love and positive thoughts~
    Sue

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  47. Anonymous10:39 PM

    Well well well alot has happened in the last few day sorry this is Russell & family in aus as much as I hate reading I have heard bout gutless comments on mums blog & would luv to say I'm cumin ova in december so would luv to meet to tell uz to bk off my mother. We've spoken most days & we all know how much she wants to b here. So end of my speech is like to say thanks to the special person that afford to pay for my mum to fly ova luv ya 4 it

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