I have been 'accused' of being a strict parent.
Well now, let's think about that.
Having: Rules, Boundaries and Consequences EQUALS kids with a firm but loving foundation for life.
Having: Few or no Rules, Boundaries or Consequences EQUALS children who often flounder in life.
Children THRIVE on rules, boundaries and consequences. ALL literature I have ever read on this subject agrees with this concept.
Once you are an adult, you have to conform to societies expectations.
Do your job, follow the rules, don't break the law, or there are consequences.
Obviously, once a child grows up and leaves home, they can make a conscience choice on how they behave.
Luckily, kids brought up with few R's, B's and C's can still turn out to be good people!
There is hope for those little rat bags, of which I know a few.
And there ends that little thread.
I have heaps to get done today.
LOTS of washing.
Lots of tidying and straightening up of the house.
Monday is always a busy day here for me.
But first, there is an FBG walk this morning which I hope to attend. The weather if looking a bit 'iffy', so it might not happen. In that case I might even take myself for a walk around my area.
I have still not put the pockets on my High Vis Vest.... so hopefully I get to that today.
11.50 am: And I'm home from my walk in Cambridge. No rain, just fog. It was wonderful walking weather.
The walk was just over 5 kms long, so a good distance for me. Afterwards half of us went for morning tea. I have been getting an iced chocolate, so much nicer than a hot drink.
Now that I'm home I've got the washing to hang on racks in the garage, then I will have some lunch.
5.20 pm: And well... I had my lunch, then went into the sewing room to sew pockets on my High Vis Vest.
I had only just finished doing that when visitors arrived, so I downed 'tools' and socialised for a few hours.
He's just lovely, we don't see enough of him.
But, he's a typical teenager, and hanging out with the old people isn't cool I suppose. 😆😝😜
And now... it's too late to be much else but getting dinner ready.
7.19 pm: Such a lovely day today! Seeing Amanda and her kids was neat.
Dinner tonight was left overs from the last couple of evening's meals. So good not wasting stuff.
Expecting Lacy shortly. I got her something. She can't wait to pick it up obviously.
I'll show you what I got her tomorrow.
For now... it's relax and put me feet up time.
Catch ya tomorrow.
Hmmm... Strict?
ReplyDeleteIs that a BAD thing?
I think that varies for different kids, behaviors, and such. For example watching too much TV vs. finding drug paraphernalia in their room. But all in all - I don't see that as being a bad thing. For example, would your child get in trouble for flying the bird at his/her grandparents? PROBABLY! Is that a bad thing??? No!
Good morning Dcr. Being a strict rule parent is a great thing kids need the structure,boundaries and routine. behaviors and actions are mirrored by parents or peers. 🤷♀️ have a lovely rainy day = lots of crochet is gona get done ✔ maby mt washing will get sorted xx
ReplyDeleteThere is a difference between being a strict parent and a consistent parent. Every child has a different personality and some thrive on strict rules and boundaries and some are more of a free spirit and need to navigate their own way. Having had six children and two grandchildren to bring up you may have made mistakes (who hasn't?) but you loved them and were there for them and that is what is important. Never doubt yourself - leave that to other people. Audrey
ReplyDeleteIf there is ONE thing I am proud of it's that I have always been a CONSISTENT parent. No meant NO, YES meant YES. My kids always knew where I stood. I know I made mistakes along the way, who doesn't? But I loved all my kids and they damn well know it. Even if some CHOOSE to change the story NOW. I actually don't know how some of them can look in the mirror without feeling fucking ashamed of themselves!
DeleteOne of my kid’s first grade (age 6) teachers said at the beginning of each school year she could tell very quickly who the kids were who had responsible parents and those who had parents who wanted to be their fun friend. I think not having parents who act like responsible parents causes kids a lot of anxiety/fear. Our job as parents is to get them ready to be responsible adults who know how to take care of of themselves and their families, parenting is mostly teaching.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more Vickie.
DeleteMorning Chris I was brought up with reasonably strict rules many moons ago. My parents have 5 children and we have all turned out as law abiding citizens with strong morals, which in turn has lead us to happy hard working lives. Sure at times I didn't like it nor did my siblings but until you get older you don't realise why and now I have the biggest appreciation for my parents whose guidance and love will be with me forever 💙
ReplyDeleteLove this.
DeleteEven if all kids were raised the same with the same rules, love and boundaries, how they feel is their narrative and experience regardless of what we as the parents think we did or didn't do. I have noticed you do post things knowing it will trigger a reaction with your other daughter which is pretty shit from a parents position. It's not hard to read between the lines that she has caused absolute hell for your family but be the bigger person and perhaps not post things willingly knowing they will inflame the situation. I say this with your best interest at heart before you bite my head off. The "grey rock" method is a great way of dealing with someone that is causing a lot of problems.
ReplyDelete"pretty shit from a parents position".. well all I can say to that is OMG, you obviously have no idea just how hard it is for us to contain ourselves sometimes, and if I slip up and react on occasions, rest assured I am actually still trying to keep a lid on my emotions/reactions. This post today was about a topic that has come up before, and is rather appropriate for today. It is NOT aimed at inciting anyone, even though some (you) think it is. I am addressing an UNPLUBLISHED comment that bagged our parenting. I am now going to go and GOOGLE 'Grey Rock' method. Thank you for your comment. I hope I didn't bite your head off!
DeleteYou're right, I don't have any idea the level of hell she has/does cause. I can only imagine that it must be really hard to deal with. Daughter obviously has some deep issues to address and perhaps her turning on you is her way of dealing with it all because she is emotionally immature and doesn'tknowhow to address her emotions. I say this because her young daughter flipping the bird at Stew yesterday speaks volumes of her immaturity and parenting. She is responsible for that wee girl being rude and disrespectful and maybe some parenting classes wouldn't go amiss.
DeleteWell my stand off daughter couldn't be nicer at the moment because she knows I've got cancer again. I asked the GP this morning if I should carry it on for a couple of years lol lol. Kj
ReplyDeleteNO Karen, you are going to beat the dreaded 'C" for the 2nd time, and I hope quickly. You do not deserve to be going through this again. As for your daughter, showing love and concern should be a given, not just when you are sick. WE love you.
DeleteTake care KJ you can beat the cancer thinking of you 💙
DeleteThank you Chris and Robyn. I have another appointment next week but still waiting to have MRI. The waiting is the worst. I just want to know if its spread or not. Then I know what and I can handle that. Love you back Chris and Stew.
DeleteAmanda looks gorgeous! Love the hair. I am sure you were strict but reasonable and your kids love you for it. Sorry you are dealing with some upsetting things from one of your girls :( Hope things settle soon. Just heard on the news about Dunedin, though I think you are quite far from there? Sounds just awful!
ReplyDeleteNawh thank you Running Girl x
DeleteYes Nicole, we are a very long way from Dunedin. All 4 victims are stable now thank goodness.
DeleteMy parents were pretty strict, Gary & I were also pretty strict and my kids are bloody awesome :-). I have always told them that I am their parent not their friend, obviously somewhat relaxed now they are older but still "my house my rules" applies.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed your walk anyway.
Thanks for the cupa, catchup, lollies and upbringing muma, wouldn’t be who I am today 🤩👌🥰 love you and dad. #theeldest #1 #mumaoffour
ReplyDeleteLove you Mum and Dad for the Awesomeness xx
ReplyDelete#Lacy💙
I guess a purple hi vis for Lacy
ReplyDelete😁
I was extremely strict firm with Samuel and I guess head boy top young police cadet in the CACTUS programme University beckons and a 7.5yr relationship now engaged and only 25 MUST have been his awesome upbringing 😉
Comment above
ReplyDeleteBlondie
Hi Chris, you are so right about rules and boundaries,your parents are not your friends - you have friends for that. My girls are 26 and 23 but if eating with us will still say "thank you for my lovely dinner, please may I leave the table". When I had a childminder she used to say she could take them to meet the Queen .....ok they had their tantrums and fights as all kids do but they respected their elders and knew what the boundaries were at home. I am so proud of the lovely, sociable, hardworking, funny young women they have grown up to be, and you should certainly be the same with your bunch !
ReplyDeleteRegards
Jane G
Everyone needs rules and boundaries. How lovely to have surprise visitors.
ReplyDeleteSweet visit from more grandkids and daughter ... just seeing how welcoming you are to family and friends says everything about you and Stew as people and parents. Love Amanda's sign off on her comment ... let's hear it for the #theeldest, #1's in the world!
ReplyDelete