Saturday, September 26, 2020

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

 I am struggling to understand why this is so hard?

I'm so tired by the end of the day (read about 7 pm), yet I've not really done much physical activity!

Yes I know that the emotional toll will be making a difference, but I still just don't know how I can be getting so damn tired.

I usually go to bed between 11 pm and 1 am... yet the past few nights I've been falling asleep by 8.30!

Meanwhile, The OLD MOO is doing quite well.  We now have the medications balanced so that she can sleep all night without pain outbreaks.

Such a relief.  It does mean she's a bit dopey during the day, but hey!  Being pain free is the MOST important thing.

ABOVE: Mum showing off her current tapestry.  Not much left to do now.  I hope she gets to finish it.  It is very pretty.

I am looking forward to going to the Doctor's this afternoon.  Getting something to ease my damn backache will be a godsend.  I even wonder if the pain is contributing to my tiredness?  Maybe.

It will be awesome to be able to get out of bed without doing LOTS of swearing! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜

So, let's see how today goes, in another hour or two... when I finally do get up.

ONWARD...

7.41 am: and I just saw whales breaching out to sea!  They seemed to be quite close to shore.

I woke at 3.35 am this morning.  Dozed on and off till 6.  Then up and at'em.

Just having some toast with hummus and cheese, trying to start the day properly.  Taking care of myself so I don't end up in a heap on the floor, and being no good for anyone.

DOGSTARS:  I usually wake around 6 am at home.  So because my body clock has not adjusted AND I'm going to be much earlier than normal, I'm waking that much earlier.  Maybe in time I will adjust and wake at the 'normal' time for here in Aussy.  I hope so anyway.

9.54 am: And yaaa!   My back is feeling so much better now.  I've been for a short walk, hung out the washing, washed all the kitchen cupboard fronts and all the window sills... and being active has worked.

While there is still some pain, it's SO MUCH BETTER!  I will still go to the Dr as there is a high chance it will flare up overnight again... and getting some sleep aide might be a good idea too.

ANON:  I cannot take Nurofen as it is not advised for someone taking Metformin, which I am doing.

My phone makes a 'Meep Meep' noise when I get an email come in.  When The OLD MOO is awake and hears it, she gets crabby and says 'WHAT IS THAT NOISE?'.

So I have to mute my phone.  ALL. THE. TIME. πŸ˜–

12.19 pm:  Just had a nice visit from Ron's daughter Di.  She brought up fresh diet coke, magazines and cake.

lol.... I was only interested in the diet coke!

It is a stunningly beautiful day today... not a cloud in the sky and a gentle breeze.

ABOVE:  Thank goodness for this seat!  It's situated half way up the driveway.  And I had to sit on it this morning to take a break.

The driveway is long and STEEP.  Such a good workout for me glutes.  

Everywhere I walk around this home is beautiful.  The spiders?  Not so much.

Though I'm yet to run into a Huntsman.  I'm rather thankful about that.

3.28 pm:  And it's been a difficult afternoon.  Not going into details, but we had to get 2 nurses out to give us a hand with Mum for a while. All is settled again now, and Mum is safely back in bed.

I can't wait for the hospital bed to arrive, it will make such a difference to how we manage Mum.

I'm just waiting for Di to arrive now... then we will go to the Dr. 

It is now 7.25 pm and I've been to the Doctor, got some pain medication and all is good.

I took a pill immediately, and while it's not killed the pain, it has stopped it getting any worse tonight.

THE OLD MOO has rallied and is much, much improved from how she was a couple of days ago.  Such a relief.

I am going to wrap up the day here... it's been another very up and down day.  That is probably how they will be from now on.

25 comments:

  1. Please don't be so hard on yourself. One of the hardest things you will go through is losing your mum. Take care, get as much rest as you can. Take one day at a time. Enjoy each and every day you have with her. I just love the picture of you and your mum on her 80th birthday. Hope you get some relief for your back.

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  2. Anonymous8:34 AM

    I think it’s probably jet lag? You’re waking up early aren’t you?

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  3. Make sure your blood sugar levels aren't too bad - tiredness is symptom of high blood sugar. I had a bad back last week too and literally could not stand up or get out of bed etc. Thankfully that went away after a couple of days!

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    1. It cannot POSSIBLY be high blood sugar. I'm not eating enough of ANYTHING to raise my levels, in fact they are too low if anything.

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    2. Haha, maybe low blood sugar then. I think sometimes we just get pinched nerves etc that can be extremely painful, I hope you get it sorted. I agree with your Mum about the beeping of phones - my daughter has her beeps turned on and my God it annoys me!!

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  4. Pain will make you tired. As will being out of sync with time, emotional stress and getting over the past 2 weeks. Don't forget you did very little exercise, had no fresh air, poor diet and little mental stimulation for two weeks. Your body needs to get over that shock to the system.
    Hopefully the doctor can give you something for your pain.

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  5. And your mum's tapestry is gorgeous. Can you take a closer pic?

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  6. I wonder what on earth happened to your back? Do you always wake up so early? Does it get dark earlier where you are? Maybe you and your Mum can work on the tapestry together. YOU can do all the putzy stuff, like get this color or put this away, or hand her the scissors. She can do the Beautiful stuff. HAHA

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  7. Every time I have been with those I deeply loved who were in their end days I seemed to come down with aches and colds and fatigue, which would disappear afterwards. I have no idea if it was stress-caused or whether (as I was once told) I was actually taking on board some of their energy flow and sharing their suffering. Hopefully some meds will help you through. Appreciate each day you can share with your mum. It is precious time. Sending you hugz, Mxx

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  8. Anonymous11:26 AM

    Hi you are under heaps of stress so getting a good nights sleep would be wonderful, maybe ask the Dr about Melatonin which is on a script and may help your body clock get back to normal. There are products available over the counter at the chemist to help you sleep which are mild. I have had a sore back the past few days as well, I take Nurofen which is an over the counter anti inflammatory and pain relief, works well.

    Take care

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  9. Anonymous11:33 AM

    I take melatonin occasionally to help me sleep. You might ask the doctor when you go in for your back.v

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  10. Kiwionholidays12:15 PM

    Thinking of you all there together on another sunny day ,,

    I know you will sleep better once your time clock gets back to normal,,

    Great you can see the doc after lunch just in case it does flare up again

    Lovely pic of Mum and Ron

    She is so talented doing those lovely crafts and obviously passed it thru the genes,to you girls n guys 🌻
    Take Care


    Cheers πŸ₯‚

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  11. Anonymous12:30 PM

    Hi it was me talking about the nurofen, I forgot to put my name

    Peta

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  12. Anonymous12:44 PM

    Hahaha classic THE OLD MOO hasn't lost her spunk πŸ’žπŸ’ž 😊 good to hear the back is a bit better lovely weather here today 24 degrees sheesh!! George's Mum.

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  13. I definitely think emotion stress and upset can affect ones back and cause pain. It happened to me during a long and unhappy phase of my life. After I got it all sorted the back pain miraculously disappeared......... xxxxxxx

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  14. The last few weeks have been way out of your usual routines, so it isn't surprising that your sleep patterns, and levels of tiredness and energy have been affected. (Mostly) sitting around in your hotel room for two weeks is such a change from your normal hive of activity at home, so your body is probably just in an adjustment phase - although it wouldn't hurt to mention the tiredness to your doctor in case your meds need adjusting temporarily (sorry, that might mean one of those dreaded bloodtests!!). Hopefully the doctor can give you something to help with sleeping better/longer and your back pain. Your Mum's tapestry looks beautiful - it looks like good craft skills run in the family. Re your phone - can you put it on vibrate instead to you know when messages/calls come in but they don't disturb your Mum the same?

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  15. Hope your back stays better and the DR can give you something. It is mentally tiring caring for a sick person. When my dad was in his last weeks, I was just exhausted all the time. Be sure to take care of yourself as well. All your pictures are just gorgeous. Their gardens are lovely. Take care

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  16. Yes fresh air moving around tiredness any other symptoms? Maybe ask for a follow up isolation test?
    And yes take care of you xx out to a small intimate engagement dinner just parents and the newly engaged couple 😁
    Blondie

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  17. Chris, your back pain may come from pure stress in your body....caring for a loved one in terminal stage is unbelievably stressful...I was a RN for 40 yrs...I know...Talk with your doctor about your situation...maybe he/she can offer some good advice...there may be a long road ahead, still, for you....it's very difficult what you're doing but you will get thru it...take one day, one moment at a time....don't try to do too much now...let the hospice helpers carry much of the load...I pray for you everyday..

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  18. Kiwionholidays7:58 PM

    XxπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’to you all difficult times n Aroha from me xx

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  19. Anonymous8:49 PM

    I doubt there will be anything more difficult you’ll have to do in you life. It changes everything, a lot for the better. Take care Chris, will be thinking of and your family, Jo x

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  20. Anonymous8:51 PM

    The hospital bed is a godsend, we managed so much better when it came. I remember trying to give my mum healthy and nutritious food and she just kept saying "Battenburg cake" so we just gave her whatever made her happy ( and she liked a glass of cider with ALL her meals, though she barely touched alcohol before !) It's good you are having help, the nurses are angels usually. Strangely, my fondest memories of my mum are from when we nursed her....my dad used to say " How can 3 women have such hilarity in a bathroom ?!) She was a strong (headstrong) abrupt woman most of her life but I adored how calm, accepting and grateful she became and I wouldn't have missed that time, though painful and stressful for the family, for all the tea in China. Sending you and Mum very best wishes.
    Jane G

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  21. Chris, I am sure your Mum is feeling great comfort having you there with Ron taking care of her. Two people who love and cherish her. It is exhausting physically and emotionally taking care of those in these stages of illness, but I know through experience that is so rewarding and you could never give Mum a better gift. You are doing a wonderful thing Chris. My Mum was in an aged care facility because of her illness and I regret that, when she passed I felt I had less control and everything was rushed. I am thinking of you often,

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  22. Anonymous10:32 PM

    Have been in the same situation Chris, with my own Dad last Christmas. It's hard work but also a very special time for you and your Mum. Thinking of you and sending strength and love. Julie xxxx

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  23. Hugs girlfriend. I'm glad you can have such beauty outside to be in for some breaks.

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