Friday, February 19, 2010

PRETTY

Oh well, ya can't have everything eh? At least it's pretty! In a green / purple sorta way. lol

I hope they kick in fast. I'm over feeling miserable. I'm sure you are all over it too. Why the hell do you even read my blog? I am THANKFUL you do though! I feel the support, I really do... and I thank you for it.

I have promised Lynda that I will write out a plan of action today. This will involve exercise, sensible eating, trying to get myself involved in SOMETHING BESIDES sitting here in my lovely home feeling sorry for myself. I have been too self indulgent I think. ONWARD.....

I am not a fan of taking anti-depressants. I am going to take them for now... because I am miserable... about more than my weight... my weight is one of the biggest side effects of being miserable. If I was in a better frame of mind the weight WOULD come off on it's own... my head space would be much more positive about the work needed to lose it. But it's not. I have quite a few 'issues' in the background that are upsetting me, which has been going on for months. I cannot cope with it all. I am an emotional eater/overeater..... so that is why I will take that pretty little pill... and be thankful that I probably won't slip even further into depression and want to do something stupid....

Lap Band: My doctor will refer me, but not right now. He wants to work on my HEAD for a little while first. But he is all for it actually. He knows how long I have struggled with the weight issue.

I am pretrified of having surgery again... my bleeding issue and having had a Pulmonary Embolism last time scares the shit outta me! BUT if I find it NECESSARY I will do it... Public or Private... either way it will be done. I am going to a seminar on Lap Banding next wednesday to learn more about it. I will not go into this without all the information.

I went on the hunt this morning for red material... for a bloody duck ... lol... found some, but hell it's not an easy colour to find! Well... not when you have something specific in mind.

I found some 'other's too....

Isn't the ABOVE material just GORGEOUS!!!! Will make a really pretty duck I'm sure!

Right, I'm now going to go make myself a salad for lunch....cos I was EVER SO GOOD while out and didn't stop at a coffee shop for morning tea! Score to me.

End of Day: been sipping on my Totara Cafe tonight.. not sure if you're supposed to mix pills with grog..but oh well... pleasantly mellowed out now! nite nite.

30 comments:

  1. Chris(son)is on them takes about 3 weeks to get the full effect..... have an awesome day :-)

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  2. Good girl. Not sure about the pills - I'm not a believer of these especially when you KNOW the reason for feeling down. You know that when you are in control of your eating and feel the weight coming off that the depression will lift. Never mind, whatever works :)

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  3. Lee-Anne L8:04 AM

    I too take that yummy little pill...I stops me wanting to kill......anyone.... gotta love them takes a while to kick in but then they are great

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  4. I've been prescribed (anti-depressants also help anxiety attacks) so far have tried to manage without. Take a look at a couple of little other options that may help. (still take the medication though) Vitamin B is good for stress, also magnesium and calcium supplements. Hope this may help. Your doc sounds supportive. Good luck!!

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  5. I too take a pill (not that one though) and it really does help! Without it I am NOT fun to be around, even for myself!!

    Lisa :)

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  6. I can understand the way you are feeling Chris. Take those little pills for as long as your Dr thinks necessary. You will find them helpful in dealing with everything. Don't feel any guilt about it either.......no different from putting a plaster cast on a broken bone.......it's just a useful tool to help heal you. Been there done that!!!
    Big Hugs :)

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  7. Went to the gym with my daughter today. Every little bit helps,right?

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  8. Hope the purty pill helps Chris. Make sure you go see your doc weekly to monitor.

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  9. Chris

    We all do what we need to do to get by. Your Dr would not recommend it if it was not required.

    No one knows what is like to be in your shoes

    Go for it

    trish

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  10. A year or 2 ago I took those little helpers. They took a while to kick in but I discovered something really important. I was the problem in our marriage ... not TWJ. I had spent so long blaming him I wasn't aware of how horrible I'd become. I made a commitment to self to stay on them beyond the basic 6 months but I found somewhere around 9 months that I felt dumbed down,not myself so I was a bit naughty and stopped without discussing with Dr. It was a little rough but can honestly say they did what I hoped and got me through the worst and now, after quite a long time with no purple and green helpers I'm doing OK. Your Dr. sounds as though he listened and will be helpful. Don't stress small things like pills. I'm glad they're available or someone might have put me in the funny farm. That's if I didn't kill them first. *laugh please*

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  11. Here's a great big hug from me. I am sure the pills will help. I have been on them a few times, they have helped through patches of me not feeling great (ie down, miserable and so on). I think you're great, I love the stuff you write (it is so interesting really it is) and I love all the pics you put up and I think you are amazlngly talented person. XXCathy

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  12. I don't take a pretty pill but my husband thinks I need one sometimes! lol... I too have also thought about WsL, went to orientation and all. All I had to do was lose about 30 Lbs and I could go in for the surgery, well I thought I don't need it, I can do this on my own... Wrong! 1 & 1/2 years later I'm heavier and not happy, but my primary doctor said he would refer me for consult again....

    So, I'm right there with you Chris, Fat and unhappy but tomorrow is a new day and we will turn it around... :-)

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  13. OK...now you have explained it a bit better I understand. Take ya bloody pill then ya tart :) Get yourself sorted and give it time to kick in and do it's work...then see what you think about the lapband.

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  14. OK...now you have explained it a bit better I understand. Take ya bloody pill then ya tart :) Get yourself sorted and give it time to kick in and do it's work...then see what you think about the lapband.

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  15. Let the pills do what they are supposed to do if it will help you get to where you can do better for yourself. I know nearly nothing about lap band surgery... it will be interesting to hear what you learn.

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  16. I do appreciate the effort and I know mum will too when she gets it :-) xxx

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  17. You know someone ONCE told me it TAKES alot of effort (and whether thats your own effort or OTHERS foisting their EFFORTS of misery onto us IM NOT SURE) TO BE MISERABLE and DOWN, and feeling happy comes in many guises, it can be walking, laying in the sun, just sitting on a park bench PEOPLE watching, it can be many things gardening, SEWING, beign around animals, babies?, baking, WASHING and ironing each one of us HAS a different definition of HAPPY but it requires TOO some input and desire to want to change are any of us TRULY HAPPY?

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  18. I would roll around in that snow
    I can just see you making "snow-angels"! LOL
    I really hope you can feel a change. I didn't want to take them either , but you do what you have to do to have your life back. When they knocked me out the first week I learned how desperate my body was for some real sleep and after I had some rest under my belt -then I started seeing things from a different angle.
    You are so beautiful and so talented! I only wish for you to be the talented artist that you really are and find happiness in each day. You know there are people all around -some doing better than you and some doing worse than you.
    For instance - we bought hay off of a local farmer for our sheep and donkey. We had used one load and now ran out so we called and left a message. When he did not return our call we knew something was wrong because he has a sweet wife who had breast cancer.
    And sure enough he just called and she had been in the hospital the last 3 days and she passed away today. I felt it, but my mind just did not want to accept it . She was like a shining star and he is just overcome with grief. It just breaks my heart and makes me count my blessings.

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  19. Stopping at coffee shops for morning tea is something I stopped doing years ago. I never, ever eat out on my own - even with Fletcher I'll just get him something and not me. Oh and did you know that mocha-chinos have about 5 points each? Could sure add up with a bit of food!

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  20. Good work avoiding those tempting coffee shops... one of my downfalls for sure... baby steps!

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  21. Oh yeah, re: your pretty pillz. I have been on and off them over the years... they DO help, but it's best to use them in conjunction with some counselling/therapy. It sure sounds like you always have so much on your plate. A chat to a supportive therapist could be helpful?

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  22. Hey girl, a little helping hand (the pills) sometimes is worth it.. you've had heaps of stress lately.. I've got them myself but never took them.. thinking now I need too because coping is getting a bit hard!! I love your ducks. They are so gorgeous.
    Don't forget to wash the reds!

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  23. Hope you start to feel better soon, not that I know much....it is hard to cope with things when they all get a bit much.. ((hugs))

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  24. Chris, it took me a long time to realise that it really was ok to rely on medication to get me through my PND after Mikayla was born. 6 months on I thought I "should" be able to go off of them so I did, it was amazing how my ability to cope went out the window. I still feel "ashamed" (for lack of a better word) to be on them at times but I know that life is easier with the medication and if that's what I need to tackle each day and get on with life so be it! I think this could be a very positive step forward for you, I sure hope so!

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  25. Sometimes we all need a little help whether it is a pill, a lap band or a kick in the a$$ to get us out of a funk.

    I hope things settle down for you and you can get back to a happy place.

    We're all here for you so just shout out if you need us to lend a hand, an ear, a shoulder or a boot in the a$$.

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  26. Hey! Your pretty pill looks like the kind I take! While it isn't too fun to think that you need medication to stay "normal" it is good to get back to feeling normal. Give it time!

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  27. Congrats or resisting temptation. Hope your spirits lift and you can move forward. Keep well and have a wonderful weekend.

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  28. I believe you do what you have to do. Take drugs, have surgery, whatever. But most important, take care of you. You are so busy taking care of others that it seems that YOU get lost along the way. And truthfully, if I owned your sewing machine, I would have been on drugs a long time ago. Good luck with everything!!!

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  29. Sounds like things are better!! Be careful with the pills. Sometimes they can cause weight gain. As long as you know this, I think you will be ok. Good luck!!

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  30. I was one Prozac for 5 years, plus Welbrutin..AWWWWWWWWWWW..what a calm. What a peace! I bawled ( with joy) the first two months because I couldn't believe that I had lived for most of my life with such a million voices going through my head and than it stopped, and there was calm.

    I no longer take it (but had no problem if I was supposed to take it for the rest of my life)..I was able to slowly wean myself off (with the Dr.'s permission and help). I learned so much during that time. Everything is not a freakin major big deal was the biggest for me. While on the med's. I realized I was able to stay calm, I wasn't stressed or despressed while before EVERYTHING got me going...

    Hope they kick in for you quickly too to help..All the best.

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