Well... as there is bugger all to do around here that I actually WANT to do, I've suggested to Stew that we go for a Sunday drive.
When I take Griffin out to his Speld Lesson every week, we pass an area called Karaka, an outer suburb of Auckland. It's a new area, all new homes. And Stew and I really like looking at homes... so we are going to have a look see around Karaka today.
Apart from that, there are no other plans for the day.
I'm really struggling with the diet this week.... feeling a bit down, and that spells trouble for the diet. I have not been taking much care of portions/food choices at all. I don't know why I even bother anymore, I seem to have no consistent MOTIVATION. You'd think looking in the mirror would be enough eh?
But ... it's not.
I think I am just waiting for that 'right at the bottom' feeling before I really care....
I'm just so bloody sick of this constant "I can do it"... then fail, fail, fail. I've been saying the same shit for years now. What the hell is wrong with me?
I know that if I lost the weight AGAIN I would feel fantastic. Yet... I dither, procrastinate, and fail again and again.
I want to scream at myself.
And on that note,
ONWARD...
RIGHT... I'm over me Pity Party of 1.... time to just pull finger and get bloody serious.
I can do it. I damn well know I can!
I just have to STOP giving in to temptations, AND I have to STOP pandering to MYSELF when I feel crabby.
We have had a really nice few hours ... we had a look at houses at Karaka Harbourside... VERY NICE homes, all individual, all different.
Then we went across the main road to Karaka Lakes. Nice homes, BUT all very similar, and it just reminded us of an area in Alfriston... all mass produced, all on tiny sections, and looking like it could turn into a 'Coronation Street' type area. Lovely landscaping of the suburb, but not somewhere we would live.
After that we decided to go to our favourite place for lunch, Masala Indian Restaurant in Mission Bay.
The weather today is STUNNING! Anyone would think it was still summer! But it's not. It's now officially Autumn/Fall.
There were hardly any swimmers in the water.... I am thinking it's getting cooler now?
Home now, but going out again shortly as we want to look at a home in the next suburb over.... still toying with the 'will we, won't we?' idea of moving so we can upsize the house, but downsize the mortgage.
Well, that was a waste of time! The house was advertised as having 5 bedroom and a study and large living spaces. Crock of shit! It had three bedrooms and a study as part of the master suite upstairs, and a bedroom downstairs. Large living space? Nope, a kitchen/dining/lounge all in one, but very small. *sigh*
False advertising and trick photography!
I'm going to enjoy dinner tonight, Stew is cooking!
Well... sorta. I did a big pork roast last night, and tonight's dinner is left over pork and veges. Still, it will be nice to not have to cook it myself.
End of Day: Steve just arrived back from spending the weekend with Bex, in time for dinner. *smiles*
It's been a really nice day, after waking up feeling shitty.
ON TRACK: no, but trying to limit the damage.
nite nite.
Yep, I feel ya!
ReplyDeleteStop beating yourself up, you forget you haven't been well this week. I joined up to WW this week and am about the same size as you so please don't give up as I would love to compare weight loss. I am T2 diabetic so must make it work and my husband has been having heart probs this year so we are both going to do it. Hope you feel more motivated this coming week.
ReplyDeleteI will say this only once. Read back on some of my older blog posts regarding diets and "giving up". It is not you that failed the diet, the diet failed you. You need to understand that it is not you. Your body will try every trick in the book to stop you losing weight. Read my posts about leptin and insulin. There is a scientific reason that this is hard when you try to count points and reduce calories.
ReplyDeleteThere is no choice but to succeed for your health and your family's sake.
My weight loss since Jan. 1 has been very slow as well. But a loss is a loss. Keep it up! You'll get past this feeling and start losing again.
ReplyDeletewith ya girl....I have all the wants there...but just no will power.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks mentally!
Wish there was a quick fix eh?
One minute, one hour at a time. Then the days and weeks will be behind you and you'll have made changes and lost weight. Remember the great feeling of a loss at WW!!?? You can do it... I want 2012 to be YOUR year, as you predicted... xxx
ReplyDeleteSounds exactly like me. Get all hyped up about losing weight then it all goes pear-shaped, pardon the pun! WOMBAT
ReplyDeleteLissten to Margie. I too, am trying to lose weight and it is upsetting when nothing happens. We all just have to hang in there...debbie
ReplyDeleteYou are not having a pity party for one - there are a whole heap of us. I don't have the secret for success (yet) SO I AM NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.... as I've been the queen of self sabotage this weekend!! I do know that low carb certainly helps ME.... I don't feel the desire to snack if I stay away from sugar and wheat the problem is all the "nice food" contain sugar and wheat. I get it right during the week but when I make a batch of muffins for hubby it is so hard not to have one and when I do I get the "well I've stuff up now, I might as well have another one or two". I guess I just need to work out what alternatives I can make hubby they fit the low carb lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteO , I LOVE your pictures! That one that also caught Griffin in the mirror is great-that is what I call , "a two for one shot!" Your camera is great & you have such a wonderful eye-in more ways than one! LOL
ReplyDeleteDear , Sweet Chris,
you most certainly are not Failing! You are like us - just "fighting the good fight"! Step by Step - some step forward & some step back -along the way. You are still "breathing " so you are still fighting.
I agree one hundred percent wtih wwangel about Sugar- love it dearly - but it does make me want to snack.
I saw a tip on tv about takeing 2teaspoons of safflower oil each day to get rid of belly fat. Well-belly fat is the one that they say is so dangerous for us- The first week I was right on it. I learned that week IF I would eat something good for us for the evening meal -and then take the oil with orange juice it took away the cravings. A friend said because the oil tells us we are full. I was so pleased because that belly was leaving town for me!
Next week -life got in the way & I missed it all - belly starts to show up once again.
but I have learned two things for me - If I eat a small -filling meal for supper and give it a bit to rest -then take the oil - it does take away the cravings -as long as I STAY AWAY from Sugar(Mr. Sugar who I love)
Also during the day after lunch if I drink a couple of Big glasses of vinegar water while I work - it also takes away the hungeries.
So, I might not be winning the battle - but I am learning with each step-even if it is a backward step. LOL Having wonderful -E-friends like you makes the trip much more enjoyable! ;-)
Chris, I am with you too. You can do it, it is just keeping it up and it must be very difficult with a family - they need different things in the house. Christy and everyone else is right - one step at a time. You have had some good results this year - you have started already and just need to find your momentum again. Don't beat yourself up - just pick yourself up and move on.
ReplyDeletePenny xo
Love the shots of Mission Bay. I used to go there with my cousin many moons ago. lol
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good week. :)
Loving the photos Griffin looks so funny hanging out the window, hopefully you find your groove very soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling too ATM. I think the secret is to look at the big picture instead of week to week though. Aim for healthier with better quality of life rather than thinner. Changing habits instead of dipriving yourself. Know what i mean?
ReplyDeleteYou can do it :o)
It only seems like you've been in your house a couple of years. You can't re-fianance your house with a better lender?
NZ skies look so good. It must be your camera. Great shot of Griffin!
ReplyDeleteL O V E the pic of Griffin looking out the window.......that is so dang cute!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe frogs and praying mantis are sure entertaining......what fun for the kids to watch...