GRRRRR....

Feel the need to use pictures.

I put my hands in the air... and say I DO CARE.
But... because there is obviously nothing I can do right now... I quit.  I just don't have the emotional strength right now for battle.

FAMILY should always come first, and that is what I have always tried to do.  But not to our detriment any more, that is why I quit ... for now. 

OH and a leopard MIGHT SAY they want to change their spots, but I know our leopard too well to believe it.  

Today?  Quiet contemplation?  Like HELL.
I might just take the kids to the movies... them, not me.  I don't think my stomach could stand or resist the smell of fresh popcorn, ice creams and lollies!

I shall walk around the mall on me pat malone I suppose.
Or I could go look at fabric?  Now that's an idea!

ONWARD...

Well it looks like the kids will be at the movies at lunchtime ... so I can wander around Sylvia Park for a couple of hours on my own.  Nice.

I'm sure that will do my mood some good.

Sitting in a mall... surrounded by people, never felt so alone.

Mind is going around in circles. Only good thing on my mind?

I can't wait for the latest gullible sucker to get shat on. Time is on my side... and insider knowledge.

3.12 pm:  home again.  The kids loved the movie they saw, glad they had a nice time.
Loaded them up with lollies, ice creams and drinks so they were happy.

I'm happy to be home ... can put me feet up in comfort for a while.  Then it will be time to get dinner sorted for Stew and the kids.  He will be late home as he's in Hamilton.

Gives me time to get something out of the freezer!


Heard this song while out today, fell in love with it:



End of Day:  well a long afternoon spent doing bugger all!
Which I liked.  Stew got home from Hamilton safely, just in time for dinner.  I timed that right!
Steps for the last few days have been up around 7-8,000 so doing well there.  Shakes are going well too, I actually like them!
nite nite

DELIBERATE BLIMP

So last night's dinner and cake was a 'deliberate blimp' in my renewed diet.

It wasn't worth it.

The cake:

ABOVE: My very amateurish decorating effort!  It was a white chocolate mud cake.  The cake itself was so dense it was BLOODY AWFUL!  I won't be buying it again.
The icing was nice ... *smiles*  First sweet thing in days.

Won't be having any more though.  It's not worth the ikk feeling afterwards.

ABOVE: My roasted seeds.... I added about a dessertspoon of butter and some salt at the end.  They taste just as good as the ones I bought at the market, but cost 1/4 of the price.  I think I made as much as what I'd bought at the market too, so a good comparison.

I feel like I'm forgetting something today... but damned if I can remember what?  I hope it wasn't important.  *yikes*

Today I'm going to chill... the kids are perfectly happy just playing on the XBox or with the dogs... so they are easy care.
They kinda know better than to annoy me anyway!  I dish out 'consequences' pretty fast!

I'm not a nice mother.  I have very little tolerance now days.  Maybe one day when I no longer have to raise kids fill time, tolerance will come back?

All I know for sure is, I love them, but can't wait till they leave home!  It will be AMAZING to one day have NO KIDS living at home.

36 and a half years of non-stop child raising is more than the average woman has to do ... right?  And let's be real... B & G are still a few years off leaving home, so by the time they do it will probably be 40+ years!

Right... enough of that... I am going to get the housework done, then find something relaxing to do.  Maybe some sewing?

ONWARD...

TRACY: Oh wouldn't that be amazing!  Can't afford it sadly.

OMG I had the WORST time ever this morning trying to brush out my wet hair.  Don't quite know why, but by the time I got it done I was OVER my long hair.

I've made an appointment for a haircut this afternoon.  I am getting it cut off.

NOT all of it, or short ... just a good few inches.
Summer is coming and having really long hair is just going to make it worse heat wise.

ABOVE:  BEFORE the cut.

We are leaving shortly for the mall...

Ha ha!  they didn't want to do it!  They are so used to me saying 'Don't cut too much off !', I think they were scared to do it.

But... in the end we compromised and I still have some taken off, just not QUITE as much as I planned.  

Its in much better condition now, all the scraggly ends are gone.

ABOVE: you can't tell in this photo, but I had quite a bit of shaping done around the front, so the shortest bit is just under my triple chins.  *smiles*

I might get Brylee to curl it for me, so I can see how it looks curled at this length.  I'm thinking it will look WAY shorter curled.

End of Day:  OMG fuming again.  Why do I let 'stuff' get me so riled up?  I wish I could switch off being a mother/grandmother for oh.... a year would be nice.  Fat chance.

Going to bed.

nite nite

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DARLING

Today, 30 years ago... Stew and I met.

We met at the Mercury Bay Rugby Clubrooms, where he was attending a Women's Netball evening.  He was their coach.

I went with a lady I'd met through Playcentre, and she introduced Stew to me that night.

It was the first night I had gone out since leaving my first husband, and I wasn't remotely interesting in meeting any guys at all.
I was sure I would be a solo mother of 4 kids forever.

Not so.  Stew and I hit it off immediately, even though the first words I ever said to him were:  "I'm a solo mother with 4 kids, don't get interested!"  

He got interested. 

The rest is history.  We are now 30 years on from that day, and I still love him as much now as I did then.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DARLING, I love you with all my heart.

ONWARD...

I'm going out.
It's time for my quarterly blood test, to be followed up with a visit to the Diabetes nurse later on in the week for results.
I also need to talk to her about all the medications I'm on, that may not be necessary while I'm doing the Optifast.

It says on the Optifast info sheet that metformin, blood pressure and cholesterole lowering medications might not need to be taken while on it, and I'm taking all of those medications.  So, worth asking about I think.

It's finally getting warmer, so I got into summer clothes... went to find some summer footwear... and bugger!
They are all in storage in Hamilton!
I didn't expect to still be here in summer.

So I shall be shopping for some summer shoes while we are out too.

AND A CAKE.  An Anniversary cake.  And I might just have a piece too.  Not every day you celebrate 30 years of being with the man you love.

2.22 pm:  And we were out much longer than  anticipated.  It took me AGES to find just the right cake.  We even tracked down a dedicated 'cake shop'... only they had NO CAKES! Just things to put on top of cakes.  Derrr.

We ended up getting a cake from the Cheesecake Shop. 

Here's a few photos from last night:

 ABOVE:  Griffin and Brylee, they are getting BIG!  Brylee will be 15 on Friday!

ABOVE: Dante getting ready to leap onto his Daddy.

 ABOVE:  And over he goes.  It was such fun watching them play.  

ABOVE:  Young Archer with his 'deer in the headlights' look.

 ABOVE:  Hmmm....

ABOVE:  Bex and Archer outside watching the kids play with their remote control cars.

 ABOVE: Dante was VERY good at crashing Brylee's car! Luckily it has big bumpers at the front, or it would have been ruined.
They are all laughing at Brylee as she ran after her car, trying to stop it crashing into the curb!

OK... these are my new summer slip ons:

 ABOVE: Very comfy, but I already have skin rubbed off my left big toe!  Might take a while to get used to wearing them. Feet are ugly things eh?

ABOVE:  I bought some seeds to dry roast my own.  This lot cost about $6.  If it works, it will be a quarter of the cost of what I got at the market on Saturday.  Fingers crossed I don't burn them.

End of Day:  well we  had a lovely dinner, followed by cake.
I'm stuffed!  Don't think I'll be doing that again in a hurry though.  Feel ikkk now.
nite nite

PUPPIES... OR NOT?

Tallulah is in season.  I was so looking forward to having puppies again by the end of the year.

BUT... in light of all the stress it would involve IF we sell and end up moving within the next 2 - 4 months, it's just not worth it.

I'm really sad I can't breed her right now, but I am sure that once she's in season again, in 6-7 months, we will be settled and then we can.

Today we have ... another Open Home.  Of course.  Not sure if the weather is going to be nice or not... but I don't really care.  I'm so over it now it just does not matter.
I will get the house all spic and span and just go with the flow.

It will happen eventually I'm sure.

Looking forward to this evening, Steve, Bex and the boys are coming for dinner.  Hmmm... I better get something out of the freezer to feed them with.
I shall be having a shake and some veges.  Yesterday I had a chocolate shake, it wasn't as nice as the coffee or caramel ones I must say.   

Lunch today will be a Vanilla shake.

Right... I better get moving, there's quite a bit to do today before this house is spic n span.

ONWARD...

11.24 am:  It was the start of Daylight Saving today.  Seems far too soon!

We are all ready for the Open Home!  I have a fruit loaf cooking in the breadmaker, so the house will smell lovely by 2 pm.

We are going out to kill time... probably just down to the mall.  Lunch out... I shall be having a shake when we get home.

2.47 pm:  And only 3 groups through today's Open Home.  1 was a 'nosey' neighbour, and the other two didn't stay long so I'm not expecting anything from them.
*sigh*

Stew has gone down to the supermarket to get some food for dinner.  Cooked chooks and some salads, I'm not going to cook tonight!  Yaaa.

End of Day: well we have had a lovely dinner and evening with Steve, Bex and the boys.
I even had a small piece of my fruit bread and some salad.  Feel a bit guilty about the bread, but it was only one small piece, so I'm sure I've not done too much damage.
nite nite

SLEEPING IN

I plan on sleeping in this morning, so I shall be back a bit later on to do a proper morning update.

I hope you are sleeping in too!

ONWARD...

And now we have a plan.
We have visitors first thing this morning, then once they have gone we are going to ...

Matakana Market, then taking a walk along Omaha Beach.  

It's a glorious day out there, so we are going to make the most of it.

10.00 am:  and just found out Tallulah has gone into season today.
Now I have to make a BIG decision.  Breed her or not this season?

It could prove to be 'bad timing' with selling house/moving if I do breed her, OR I might say 'NO'.... and then we might not sell for ages and I will have missed the chance to breed with her this season.

Hmmm...

4.53 pm:  And we are home again.
The market was a bit ho hum today, same stalls, nothing different at all.
It was nice to get out and about though, and a lot of other people must have thought the same thing as the market was packed.

 ABOVE:  people enjoying the outdoors, eating down by the tidal stream.

 ABOVE:  Live music.

ABOVE:  you could leave your dog at the 'Dog Minding' station.  Not a bad idea really.  Note that really BIG dog on the left?  He kept pulling his minder away, she really struggled to keep him there.

The only thing I bought was...

ABOVE:  some seeds.  And I dipped my lunch banana in them... it was quite nice.
Stew and the kids had pizza and chips.  I went for a walk while they ate... my resolve isn't THAT strong yet!

After lunch we drove to Omaha, where Stew and the kids had a walk along the beach.  I stayed in the car as I simply have NO ENERGY right now.  No doubt due to the VLC diet.

End of Day:  well a nice quiet evening...then a rush to sand and paint the holes in the lounge wall where the firescreen was attached!  Phew, nearly forgot to do it before tomorrow's Open Home!
nite nite

FOUND IT

So.

It's back ... 

My mojo.

My motivation.

I lost it for a while... well for about 6 weeks in fact.

But it's back!

Yesterday I started taking Optifast shakes instead of stuffing my face with CRAP FOOD... and I am feeling so much better.

I can't BELIEVE I feel this way after JUST ONE DAY.

My mind is clearer.

My mood has lifted.

I am in control again... and I'm actually looking forward to summer coming.

No matter how long it takes for this friggin house to sell... I am NOT going to let it derail my weight loss efforts again.

I was feeling absolutely DISGUSTING every day, over eating, making stupid, dumb choices and then paying for it by feeling bloated and blah all day.

And of course that impacted on everything else and everyone else.

So.  ON with the shakes and long may this good feeling last.

Today I shall be going for a walk at the mall again, then coming home to do some sewing I think.  I plan on making some little projects for Christmas presents.  I am not going all out this year on presents.  Just a few small items for families, all in one 'box' type thing.
I think I did that last year?

Can't remember.  But I know I don't want to come out on the other side of Christmas with a debt to pay off for the next year!

Cos who knows what next year holds?  We hope to be in Hamilton in a new home, but ... we will just wait and see.  

ONWARD...

11.05 am:   well my morning is going well... I've been down to our local mall and had a walk, bought a couple of gifts for upcoming events, got some nice fresh veges so I have some to eat and am now home watching Home and Away before moving on to something else.

Whatever that might be...

4.53 pm:  I felt a bit light headed this afternoon.  Probably due to the VLC diet.  I will eat a banana, that should fix it.

It's Friday night.  Traditionally we indulge in some chips/dips and what have you.  I might just find that a bit difficult... but I will have to get past it somehow.  I'm not going to fail after only 2 days on this new kick!

I'm making the family beef stir fry with left over rice for their dinner tonight.  I will try another flavour of shake.  Can't wait (tongue in cheek).

End of Day:  12.37 am:  holy hell!  Didn't realise it was that late.  Oh well... it's been a nice evening.  Found it a bit hard to stick to the 'diet' tonight, but I DID IT!
nite nite

KICK START...

I NEED A KICK START...

so...

ABOVE:  I'm trying this shit again.  I know there's some flavors I hate... but as I can't remember which one's they are... I got this multi pack.  I tried this stuff YEARS ago, hated it... but I'm willing to give it another try.

I'm thinking I will hate the coffee one!  But, I need a bit of a boost with the weight loss... I've gained SO MUCH in the past month!

Emotional eating to the max... my biggest downfall.

I'm going to replace lunch AND dinner with a shake for a week... then reassess how I feel about it.  I will have a little fruit for snacks and when I'm feeling starving.

But.  I'm going to turn it around again... I have a goal in mind for Christmas... which is approx 12 weeks away.... so I should be able to do it!

ABOVE: Archer got a temperature yesterday afternoon, Bex thinks he's teething.  As soon as it's a decent time (like 9 am), I shall be ringing her to see how he is.  One can't help worrying when a wee baby isn't well.  At least it's not Friday afternoon, when most kids decide to get sick!

Last night I got the binding on the baby quilt, took me until 11.45 pm.  So today I can sit in front of the telly and watch some mindless programmes while hand stitching it on the back.

That will take me a good hour or more.  After that, who knows?  I might do the housework, such as it is.  

ONWARD...

ANON from yesterday:  I will always remove a crude and vulgar comment.

9.08 am: Just text Bex, Archer is OK by the sound of it.  Probably just teething temp, he was dribbling something rotten yesterday when I was there.

Well... I've done all the housework, so now it's time to get hand stitching...

12.05 pm:  Well, it took a bit longer than I thought to do the hand stitching, but 2.5 hours later... it's done:

ABOVE:  well.... I think it's cute.  Glad it's done and will be winging it's way off to England in a couple of weeks.

Lunchtime... trying not to get too 'excited'... I know I will hate the shake.  lol

12.28 pm:  And I tried the Caramel shake. YUM!
I also read up on the 'diet' and have decided not to do the first Intensive stage, but go to the 2nd 'Transitional' Stage, which is 2 shakes and one small low calorie meal a day, 2 pieces of fruit, a small serve of dairy and 2 serves of non starchy vegetables... giving a calorific amount of about 800-1000 per day.

I'm hoping this will be the kick start I need.

5.52 pm:  My mouth is watering... cooking the family's dinner (sweet n sour chicken on rice).  But, I am determined not to succumb.
I shall be trying the COFFEE shake for my dinner. Hmmmm....

And the verdict on the coffee shake?  Not bad.  Certainly not as bad as I envisioned.  It actually tasted more like chocolate than coffee!

So, this shake diet really isn't going too bad... for DAY ONE! lol

End of Day: unexpectedly, a good day.
nite nite

RECOVERING FROM MY HISSY FIT

So I had a massive hissy fit yesterday.  I was just so upset about our 3rd Contract falling over I just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there.

Luckily (I suppose), I couldn't, because I had the Real Estate guys coming around with a videotographer/Photographer to take a promotional video of our house, and new photos too.

This is being done in an effort to BOOST our home's appeal and refresh our advertising on the internet.  Wasn't our idea, it was our Estate Agents (The Professionals).  They are also covering the cost of this, which is quite a considerable amount!  Those poor buggers are certainly earning their money.

So, they arrived at 11 am and it took over 2 hours for the video and photos to be taken!
The video is ONLY a 30 second video, but it took that long!  Plus photos.

 ABOVE:  'R' up on the tree stump taking photos...

ABOVE:  I was a great help... telling him where to stand to get the best shots!  lol

 ABOVE:  R.... he's a bit of a stud muffin! 
Shish, don't tell Stew I said that... *smiles*

ABOVE:  R's idea ... take the firescreen down... and he was right.  It looks so much nicer without it.  If I ever use it again I might just paint it white or cream so it's not so 'in ya face'.

Something else that happened yesterday, before the photographer arrived....

We had a company installing Broadband super fast cable in our little street last week, and they left our grass verge/front lawns in a right royal mess!

At about 9 am two blokes came along in a little grader and started flattening out all the lumps of clay, then laying down grass seed.

I got out there quick smart and asked them what they were doing putting grass seed on clay, and IN the big holes that were left there by the cable layers?

They said they were the 'clean up' guys and were just doing their job.  I said no way were the holes safe, and the grass was certainly NOT going to grow on clay!

I was so incensed I went and took photos of the shit job they were doing.  They didn't like that.

BELOW:  the hole right outside my house... it had gone under the footpath, making the footpath unstable, and of course a hazard for anyone walking along in the dark.  

After taking the photos, I went inside and rang Chorus (responsible for the job), and talked to a lovely guy there who said "send me the photos"... so I did.

By then the guys had gone.   ONE HOUR later, they came back with a big truck full of topsoil, and they proceeded to fill up all the holes in the street, and lay down more grass seed!  

They had the audacity to tell me that they had put down the first lot of grass seed,  UNDER the topsoil, so the birds wouldn't eat it!  I may be a crabby tart, but I'm not an idiot!  Grass won't grow from under masses of top soil.  

So, I got results by being a crabby bitch with a camera.  Score.

Today?  I'm going to post a container to a friend in Christchurch then maybe visit Bex and the boys.  I want to get out of the house for a while.


When I get home again I will continue working on the baby quilt.

ONWARD...

2.13 pm:  I'm doing well today.  I went for a big walk around the mall, inside and outside, cos I got hot, then I bought some t-shirts for summer walking, and then lunch for Bex, the Boys and I.

It was nice to spend an hour or so at Bex's, just relaxing and enjoying the boys.   

I have done 7,739 steps so far today.   Yesterday I did 10,039... clearly I was busy yesterday getting the house all tidy and just keeping busy.

Time to take a little break and watch Home and Away before I go and do some sewing.  If I'm not careful I won't have that quilt finished before Chris D gets here next week.

6.42 pm:  and I've done some sewing, and I've got two mince/potato and cheese pies in the oven for dinner.  Stew should be home soon, just in time for when the pies come out of the oven.

I'm going to really enjoy dinner tonight, cos tomorrow....

End of Day: looking forward to a nice evening, hopefully I will get some more sewing done, and by tomorrow I might be hand stitching the binding on that quilt!
nite nite

BLAH

I'm in a foul mood and don't feel like blogging.
So I'm taking a break today.

SEWING TODAY

My plan today is to get a whole heap of sewing done... I want to get all the applique' done on the baby quilt at least by end of day.

I will do that once I've got the house ship shape... which won't take long.

It's the last week of school for the kids this week... then they have two weeks off.
I can't believe how fast this year has gone!
Hopefully they will both end the year in their current school, and start the new year in Hamilton... all going well.

Stew got up in the middle of the night to watch rugby... It's the World Cup in case you didn't know and the All Blacks had their first game at 3 am (ish), vs Argentina.  I don't know the result yet... I'll ask Stew later, or check the news.

I'm not that fussed on the World Cup really, but it would be nice if our guys won the cup back to back.  

Right, I better get a move on... it's going to be a nice day, I love my sewing.

ONWARD...

4.27 pm:   and clearly I've been busy today!
I have done all the applique' on the quilt AND quilted it!
Now 'all' I have to do is make some binding and sew it on, then hand stitch it down.  
I'm really happy with how it's coming along:

ABOVE:  While it's a very simple quilt, it is pretty don't ya think?  I have to make eyes for the bugs too... better not forget them!  And WHOOPS, I now see I haven't stitched the inside of the 'A' either.... 

End of Day:  it's gone to bloody shit.  Our current contract has FALLEN DOWN.  AGAIN.
I am totally over it.  Feel sick.
nite nite

IF I THOUGHT IT WAS BAD YESTERDAY...

It wasn't.... the weather I mean.
We were expecting shitty weather yesterday... but it didn't really happen.

Today on the other hand IS supposed to be dreadful.  Just in time for our next Open Home.

I am hoping like hell this will be one of our last open homes?  Ya never know.  There is a bloke selling his house by Auction this weekend who is keen on our house.  IF he sells this weekend, we MIGHT be getting another offer on the house.  Which MIGHT cancel out the existing offer.... and speed things up a bit.

As it stands, we are still having to wait for our current buyers to sell their home, and as far as I can tell it's not even on the market yet!  Maybe they have a few things to attend to first, as we did too?

Anyway... it's a 'normal' Sunday here then.  Clean and tidy and get ready for another Open.  As the weather is supposed to be dreadful, we are not expecting many to come... if any.
But we still have to do all the preparation like usual.

I'm sending Stew and the kids grocery shopping this morning so I can just get on with it.  They are not much use really, except for vacuming, emptying bins and picking up dog poop!
I do literally everything else.

So... until much later... I hope you have a better day than me!

ONWARD...

10.36 am:  And so far the dreadful weather is holding off...  maybe we won't get it?  lol
Knowing our luck it will start at 1.45 pm, just before our Open.  

I've just hung some net on our walk-in-wardrobe window.  It's the only window that had the new house being built to our side looming over it.  I can't get dressed in there now due to the builders being able to see in!
Can't have that eh? 

I just used the net that I took off the lounge windows, so it didn't cost me a cent either.  SCORE. 

1.02 pm:

ABOVE:  clouds looming... they just have to hold off for another 90 minutes and our Open Home will be over...

5.24 pm:  and we were so lucky with the weather!  It didn't rain at all.  
We had a total of 6 groups through, which was a good turn out.

One of our Agents had a new listing, and they had the first Open Home today, and no one turned up.  So we were lucky today for sure.

Our buyer's house goes on the market this week, and their first open home is next weekend.  Hopefully they sell fast.

Steve, Bex and the little boys are here for dinner.  Steve found a butchery in Orakei that sells amazing Duck N Orange sausages, so he bought some for dinner tonight, and is cooking them too.
Bex has made a Chocolate cake for dessert, so we are being spoilt rotten tonight.

End of Day:  well a delightful evening... Dante was like an energiser battery...on the go non stop!  The sausages were delicious and so was the banana cake.
Everyone has gone home/to bed and it's just me watching 'A Place To Call Home'... an Australian series that I am really enjoying.
Almost time to go to bed myself.
nite nite