Leaning towards what we did yesterday, today we are travelling down to Tokoroa to tend to my families graves.Both headstones/bases need to be cleaned, and have fresh stuff put around. I'm hoping to pick up some nice pots/plants to sit on the bases.
My Dad's headstone is to be removed soon, to have my Mum's and Sister's details added. This will then be 'unveiled' in August.
I fully expect this job to take the majority of the day. I am just wanting it done asap. I feel the weight of having to keep the graves tidy, as there really is no one else lining up to do it.
THAT is why when we 'go', I don't want anyone having to tend our graves. In 100 years, no one will even remember us so yeah, traditional graves are not for us.
Kinda a weird subject to be yakking about eh? But I think it's something everyone (adults at least), should give some thought to. That and your Will, Executors, Power of Attorneys, memorandum of wishes, and so on. You can't really control what happens after you die, but you can certainly do a few things, like what we did yesterday.
So there ya go. We will be heading off mid morning, once it's warmed up a bit.
ONWARD...
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ABOVE: On the road at 10 am, heading into foggy South Waikato. Ikkk.
1.30 pm. We are home again. It didn't take us too long to get the graves nice and tidy again. I had already taken some of the stuff away last Friday, on my way home from Palmerston North. Dead flowers, and things that needed cleaning, like my painted rocks.
ABOVE: Tokoroa was freezing, and it drizzled on and off. Many, many years ago, the only statue on the main street was the Bushman, holding his chainsaw. Now there's quite a few more. I liked it better with just the bushman.
ABOVE: My Dad's headstone will be having additional wording added soon. As you can see (Vickie), his headstone/base badly needed cleaning, moss removed etc.
Sadly, I seem to be the only family member who does it. In saying that, we haven't done it in at least a couple of years, and it showed.
ABOVE: My two brother's headstone/base got cleaned as well of course. I thought about painting both the bases, but I am sure the paint would chip away over time, and that would look ikkk. So I've shelved that idea.
ABOVE: The position of both headstones, opposite each other. Once my sister's ashes are interred with my Dad, and 'bits and bobs' of my Mum, my entire immediate family will be together. AND NO, I will not be joining them there. Stew and I want to be laid to rest in Hamilton, where we have spent the majority of our married life.
It felt so good to have that job done, it's been hanging over my head for a while now.
9.15 pm, and we have had a very lazy afternoon/evening again! It's rather nice being lazy.
Time to sign off for the day, catch ya tomorrow.
I am trying to figure out the “tending”.
ReplyDeleteI am an amateur genealogist and visit more family graves than the average person.
They are all always tidy. The cemetery lawn crews (at all of them) mow and trim.
Ours are all just a stone (no clutter, no flags, no plants, no benches, no pots, no brick-brack, no flowers).
Every once in a while I will find one that needs a scrub, but not many.
Vickie
I will show you later.
DeleteI am a volunteer for the Commonwealth Grave Commission and look after War Dead graves and I’m proud to do this. I am going to be cremated and no grave or headstone for me. I have seen some sad neglect.
ReplyDeleteThe headstones look so much tidier now
ReplyDeleteGreat work Chris and Stew. I tried discouraging mum from having a headstone but lost that battle so as you say who is going to tend it especially as im the only family here and who will even come down here for a grave...ive going to be cooked and then ashes dropped in the sea...
ReplyDeleteThey look nice and tidy; my parents are buried in National Cemetery as my father Korean War veteran an hour away. My Mike (my only child, my son, f44)was cremated and some of his ashes rest with my parents and some were scattered per his wishes [which we had just talked about only 4 months prior to his passing of all things]. I am to be cremated and have my ashes scattered , mingled with the last remaining ashes of my son at that scattering, same places where my Mike's were scattered. Getting to the point in my family that no one will be visiting my parents graves after my sister and myself are gone, which my parents always anticipated too and that's why they chose to be placed in National Cemetery where care is eternal [both also chose cremation]. Dawn P. Albany, GA USA
ReplyDeleteThey have special days here when graves are cleaned up. Good Friday and the 3 All Souls Saturdays. They also have eternal flames, like red candles which flicker eerily as you pass in the black of the night
ReplyDeleteWe have purchased a tree in a living legacy garden (Mornington Green) and our ashes will be infused into the tree and we will grow into our Trident Maple! My dad passed away in 2023 and this is where he is, it's a lovely peaceful park (ex golf course) not at all depressing Ike a cemetary. It’s actually nice knowing where we will end up. Just across from dad( and mum when she joins him) and close to my father in law, who’s just bought his tree. The service they did was beautiful too. Eventually when no one visits, it’s just a lovely tree with our plaque on it.
ReplyDelete