I was watching the tv the other night, when a segment came on about Loneliness. It is now considered a leading cause of 'illness' in our ageing population.
Seems thousands of older people consider themselves lonely, to the point where it affects their quality of life.
I can relate.
We have SIX ... (raised 8) ... kids and fourteen Grandkids. I didn't ever think we would be lonely. BUT most days, while Stew is at work, I'm LONELY.
I used to dread when Stew and I are REALLY OLD, because I felt sure we would be very lonely.
Your kids grow up and get their own lives, and move on from YOU.
Unless you are extremely lucky, and they actually think about you, and care about you enough to visit, ring, or just message now and then.
Of course, in this family, with a few of our kids 'estranged' from us, it's even worse.
And that is one of the reasons why we are moving!
To an area where there's more similar aged people like us, and a community where you can be around other people more. Where there are community facilities, opportunities to mix and mingle with others regularly and so on.
It's called 'future proofing' our lifestyle, and wellbeing.
I'm hanging out for the next phase of our lives to begin to be honest. Being in 'limbo' sucks.
Moving right along now... today I am going to the supermarket first thing, I need a couple more things for baking. Then home to sew. I am going to churn out as much as I can in the next couple of weeks.
My sewing machine told me (yes it can message me on screen), that it needed servicing and oil. So as soon as I feel like I have enough stock again, I'll send it in for servicing.
I had a play with my phone's camera yesterday... tried a few different setting. It's rather complicated! I am going to find the time, eventually, to watch some YouTube tutorials on how to get the most out of the camera's capabilities. But for now...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GRIFFIN, have a lovely day, Dad and I love you to bits. 💚💙💜
And that's it for now.
I am getting up and making a move on the day.
Catch ya later.
10.34 am: And I'm home from a good shopping session. I skipped the supermarket, cos I was hungry, and we all know what happens when you grocery shop when hungry! So no.
Get a motorhome or caravan and join us grey nomads... there is a massive community of like minded people travelling around the country (many take a dog). It is one way of combating loneliness but I agree that it is a real problem now. If I was stuck at home all the time now I would go nuts and I know going forward we fully intend buying into some kind of village for that peace of mind in older age.
ReplyDeleteSorry to see you feeling lonely. I barely speak to anyone most days except hubby when he gets home from work (I go to gym at 6am every morning, oh, I have “friends” there and they are great but I choose to keep them at arms length, I know a lot about them though), I text my only child, she’s 40 in February and single, every day, just touch base and we catch up when we can and get on really well. I catch up with friends when I reach out, like today I’m having brekky with a very close friend. Mostly it’s me reaching out when I want to. I love my own company, I walk 8 k’s every day by myself, I don’t want anyone holding me up. I couldn’t think of anything worse than living in a community village, I have friends who do and they love it. I’m not here to offer suggestions except one, why don’t you contact individuals that you have met over time and go out for brekky occasionally. I note that you start things, like swimming, water aerobics, etc but then “throw the towel in” rather quickly. Or check out gyms that have “old people” classes, do something for yourself rather than hoping to meet people. I have met lots of people at the gym for example, they are my gym friends though who I see every day but keep at arms length. Everyone is different. So sorry about the long post, but it’s hard not to. And I could keep going, but it’s 5.56am and I’m late for gym 😂 Marie, Melbourne
ReplyDeleteI used to have lots of friends but I think as we age it becomes for difficult to cultivate that kind of friendship. I like to think of many of my blogger friends as real friends in that I can express myself and get feedback. I have met some lovely people via motorhoming but again, no friendship is like the intense friendships of our younger days. That's life I suppose. Loneliness is a real thing these days especially when you are older.
DeleteI used to love my frequent chats with my Mum. Now I chat to hardly anyone. It is always me reaching out, which kinda pisses me off. Friendships when we were younger were so much easier, we all had little kids and mixed and mingled with them. Now they (and us) tend to mix and mingle with our own kids (as adults) now most predominantly. Water aerobics etc got too damn cold here, the pool was not warm and I don't do cold water. Not making excuses, just stating a fact. The places we are looking at moving to have heated pools, so I will be swimming most days. On my own, or with company, I don't care about that. Each to their own when it comes to 'Community Villages'. We have explored many options, and have not settled on anything quite yet. I really am going to try and find a walking group here in Hamilton! Just to keep my walking up. I hate walking on my own! See, each to their own. I love yakking too much!!!
DeleteI find activities where I can go be around people with no further commitment. Book groups are working well for me right now.
DeleteIs it possible to go to events at the communities you are considering to see how you feel? Or can you rent to try it out without a commitment?
I don’t think I would like living in a close community. I definitely would have to try it first.
Vickie
I have frozen bread in the past. It doesn't hurt it. Of course nothing is better than fresh hot bread. I totally get the lonely aspect. My parents lived in one of those active adult communities. They had so much to do. I think you will truly enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteThe bread will be perfectly fine in the freezer I do ot all the time. You know that you can set the timer for the bread to start aye so that you don't have to stay up late. Chin up it will all come together when it's meant to GM 💙💙
ReplyDeleteI knew it! You and Stew are going to live permanently on a cruise ship.
ReplyDeleteI find home made bread freezes ok but I prefer to toast it once defrosted.
Chris if you actually enjoy water aerobics, have you thought of mentioning at the front desk that the pool is too cold. It’s not whinging, it’s just pointing out something that may not be evident to them. My pool is perfect, however, I changed as the last pool was too hot for me, they had lots of swimming lessons for little ones, hence the higher temp. Marie, Melbourne
ReplyDeleteI’m sure you and Stew would be all over this but just my two cents worth. Like everything community living isn’t for everyone. The most important thing to do is your financial due diligence for any hidden costs associated with what is included within the facility eg swimming pool, bowling green, community hall etc. I have witnessed my mother and other family friends (both couples and singles) not being happy living within these communities after ‘the honeymoon period’ is over. Lots of gossiping and pecking orders within the community. These communities consisted of freestanding private homes and of course you can choose to be involved or not but as most people give as a reason for moving there is to meet like minded people and to feel connected. I get why you want to downsize Chris, my husband and I have done the same but it’s really important to have your privacy. I agree with the comment about being able to try before buying.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Griffin! Hope you have a great day. Love Rascal he is too cute!
ReplyDeleteJust a thought about a village community... imagine falling out with someone or being the subject of gossip or whatever. You are stuck there having to see them or avoid them all the time! My ideal is where Stu's father lives in Whitianga. It is his own freehold home but you have to be over 55 to buy into the area. He can sell for 100% of the money and he only pays an annual payment for insurance and exterior maintenance (body corp). It's called Marlin Waters. If only there were more communities like that! He has good neighbours but no one is nosey, they all get on with their lives.
ReplyDeleteAgree Lynda with your comments. Lady at my gym in one, she wants to be independent and join in when she feels like it, but has now been ostracised by a group of women because she’s not joining in on their terms. Talk about bullying when you thought it only happened to youngsters. Marie, Melbourne
ReplyDeleteIf you slice the bread before you freeze it you can just use what you need, that is what I do and it works really well....Peta
ReplyDeleteReading all those comments about Retirement villages and knowing some people who live in them...I would prefer to downsize my home and do what Lynda does with the motor home...once Stew is retired you will do more things together anyway...we are both retired and it is not lonely now...just my husband chomping in my ear...drives me mad..I know you hate that too Chris ...lol..
ReplyDeleteEvery time mum says everyone needs a Felicity cause I do so much for her I remind her how am I gonna have. But at this rate mum will out live me. Happy birthday Griffin gosh they were so young when we first started blogging
ReplyDeleteTry listening to books while walking, takes a while to get used to but very addictive. I use audible and it’s amazing. Any excuse now to go for a walk so I can listen to my book, also great when gardening, housework, driving etc
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're feelonely. I know how quiet the house gets when all the kids move on. I like it but hubby hates the quiet. Thank goodness we live in a small community. That's what you need too, so you've always got choices, things to do, places to go, with like minded people.
ReplyDeleteLove your hydrangea. I've had 2 blue ones but unfortunately they both turned pink the next season. Something to do with the ph in the soil.
Put Sulphate of Aluminium in the soil around your Hydrangeas and they will go blue again.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chris!! I'll tell our garden store man and see if he can get some and a new blue hydrangea this spring. The last ones didn't survive the endless heateaves
DeleteThat bumble bee photo is astounding! The pie looks tasty!
ReplyDeleteWhen we were taking care of my mother in law I was amazed her own kids didn't even come to see her on her death bed. Disgusting :(
ReplyDeleteThink the house looks great & would dread the thought of regular view groups! Howeverhopefullyitworkssoon andyoudohavealovrlyhouse! I freeze soda bread cut into pieces & it thaws brilliantly to eat with soup! Olive soda bread is one of our treats. Good luck with the sale & hope it doesn’t rake too long🤞🤞🤞👍
ReplyDeleteWAaah I’m late catching up, again. Fruit bread is always a winner here, usually cinnamon raisin. Smells awesome, and there are bits missing from it before it’s even cooled! I put it in at bed time on a delayed start, so the kids (well, late teens-early twenties) have it toasted for brekkie. Would love to know what’s in your recipe!
ReplyDeleteI think less bumblebees up here this summer, through thanks to a concerted effort by our farms and neighbouring areas, we’ve had honeybees everywhere. Great for the gardens and the crops, and I can idle away my noon hour, lollygagging around watching the bees be busy!
Lonely - I don’t feel that very often, I don’t think. I like my own company and no one yackity yacking when I’m enjoying quietly working away (there’s a reason I work on the land and in the forest - and at least the stock don’t give me backchat!). I guess I’m happy to see people -not too many and not too often- and then I can peacefully recharge my social battery! Good thing we’re all different, eh, or the world would be a boring place!
MrsFwith4