Here's how Number 8 Reindeer Runner is looking:
Number 9 is going to be pretty much the same, only with the tree on the other side.
Number 10? Nothing comes to mind... yet.
I'm feeling blah. Had dessert last night. Didn't need it. Wasn't good for me. Kept me awake half the night with heartburn.
The weight I lost the past couple of months has come back. I am pissed off with myself.
Like what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm a bloody diabetic and I eat ice cream, chocolate sauce, biscuits etc... AND I don't seem to give a shit.
But I do. But I don't. I'm just sick to death of the restrictions. I don't like restrictions.
GRRRrrrrrrr.
And blogging about it doesn't help cos there are some who are going to give me a hard time and lecture me, tell me all the horror stories about what diabetes can do to the body. (DON'T bother, I know it all already ffs)
And excuse me, but my Mum was a diabetic like me, she lived to 83 without any problems relating to diabetes, and in her last few weeks 'they' told her to eat anything she wanted, it wasn't going to kill her. CANCER WAS.
Watching her die changed me. Made me want to live NOW, and enjoy life. Not live with never ending friggin restrictions. Nothing is promised, time is not promised. You can go just like that.
I should know. Both my brothers died 'just like that', my Dad died 'just like that'...
Obviously I'm not in a very good mood right now!
As I said, I'm pissed off with myself.
And then I hear through the rumour mill about a certain person telling outrageous lies about us supporting 'it' in court! I saw red. OMG how can someone lie and lie and lie and think they can get away with it??? I hope Karma strikes that person down one day. DEAD. TO. ME.
My windows need cleaning. My car needs cleaning. Pffffft. "I will do it she said", MY ARSE.
Now, what else can I bitch about today???
All my nails are breaking/splitting.
I have a huge pile of washing to fold and put away, what fun ... NOT.
The spare bed needs to be made properly.
Stew's shirts speak to me every day ("Iron us"). I ignore them.
Marley and Coco stink and need a bath.
I hate cooking... lucky I've got dinners in the freezer already cooked.
I'm already over today and it's only 6.30 am.
Someone once said to me that all I do on my blog is bitch and moan. Today? YUP. And that 'someone' can go to hell and back too.
I am going to live my life how I want to, I am going to blog how I want to, not how others think I should.
Do I feel better for getting that off my chest? Not really.
CRABBY.
Dinner tonight was Spaghetti Bolognaise. And I cooked enough to put a meal in the freezer for another day too. I often do that so I halve the cooking I have to do.
Hope your day improves. If not, just roll with it I guess. I am in for a crappy day too, have been dreading it for at least a week. I keep saying to myself, "It's just a day".
ReplyDeleteI know it’s not funny but you made me laugh, I had an image of you jumping up and down ranting, but I understand how you feel, and I sometimes think, why can’t I eat what I want and the more people say you shouldn’t eat this or that the more I think, don’t tell me what to do. And then the knowledge that I have some health problems kicks in and I eat healthier foods. Just do your best, slowly, day at a time.
ReplyDeleteIt’s me Magpie from Melbourne Australia, not anonymous
DeleteO no. Poor you. I have days like that sometimes. Nothing is right. I just put one foot in front of the other and plod on hoping like hell that the next day will be better. You could try a little self compassion podcast. It just reminds you to be as kind to yourself as you are to other people. Some of the things I say to myself I would never say to anyone on a down day so it just reminds me to talk gently to myself too. When all else fails I go and sit at the beach with a coffee and get my 15mins of nature. Doesnt fix everything but makes me feel a little happier and I will have done my 20mins exercise getting there. Hope the 'black' day passes soon for you. Thinking of you. KarenAK
ReplyDeleteI get it, I really do. OK, I'm not diabetic but if I eat badly I too suffer all night from reflux (even with my medication, I probably need an operation but stuff that). I hate cooking. Surely it's from 'having' to cook for years and years and I'm bloody over it. Every day I simply can't think of what to make and can't be bothered but produce something edible because I have to. Yes, we all die of something... my Mum died when she was 58 - never drank, never smoked, never got overweight. My brother is now 83 and has done everything wrong in life but is still here - go figure?.
ReplyDeleteCan you get better medication to help manage your blood sugar? Yes a good diet is the ultimate answer but if that's not happening then perhaps you do need to up the insulin? Think about that. Anyway, try to have a good day.. the sun is shining!
You're entitled to a shit day and a rant. Yep i read that as i ate a couple of lollies i didn't need and certainly wouldn't have been any good for me... however, it was a small treat. You gotta have them. Just try to find an alternative that might not be as bad... a lighter sugar icecream or try different foods. But incidental exercise too. Don't beat yourself up. Ive accepted I'll never be skinny but as long as we're trying to be healthy it's half the battle won. I usually have a good cry and then back to it 😉. Hang in there 💙
ReplyDeleteOh Chris sending hugs 🤗 They say it’s good to get things off your chest, although it doesn’t seem to have had that effect for you yet. Do something nice for yourself today. Stuff everything else. You’ve been working really hard for the last few months. ‘Life is a bitch and then you die’! Whoever said that was right. If the weather is nice go for a little wander around somewhere nice and have a giant ice cream! 💕💕💕💕
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better now. A good vent can work wonders.
ReplyDeleteIt’s your blog, rant away. We all know what we are SUPPOSED to do, eat & drink but actually doing it is a lot harder. For your nails I recommend collagen, I was sceptical but when I stopped using it for 6 weeks when I was in Christchurch my nails all broke.
ReplyDeleteThat is the cutest one yet! Love it, love it, love it!! I hope your whole aura and nerves and all get settled soon. I know how it is to be so rot up. It hurts the heart. Post on here what you want to post, or don't post, that is your prerogative. This is your blog. I love coming on here to see what you've gotten up to because you are a dynamo!! So keep up all of the good stuff and tell the haters to f off.
ReplyDeleteKy Girl
Hi I just love the runners, hope you are feeling better...I am pre diabetic and it is really hard to stick to being :"good"...but diabetics have a much bigger chance of getting cancers....makes me worried when I read about it....Peta
ReplyDeleteWe are all in th same boat when it comes to weight. We know "we should" but we don't. we try, we give up. we forget. we get back on track.... So just do what you can and carry on.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the rant. Mainly, because that sounds like me once in a while. And it's good to know I am not alone. I/you just need to let it out sometimes. Sounds like Steve called with good fence news right in the nick of time!
You may be feeling crabby but darn it lady, your sewing skills are bloody fantastic! It's lovely to see a new reindeer each day and you've brightened my day with each of them, thank you. Gail x
ReplyDeletehope your day ended more happily than it began. Dont give up just vent take a break then get back on your journey to being a healthier you.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling a lot better than you were. What about a reindeer and a sleigh? or gifts?
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way with the eating. I watch my friends doing Keto and losing weight and I have no desire haha. But I do look cute skinny and I was healthier so I always have that in the back of my head.
ReplyDelete