LOSING WEIGHT

So... I'm doing fairly well with the losing weight shitty thing again.
I've lost about 3 kilos since Boxing Day.

I read this article on a news site last night, (Stuff) and it really made me go 'YES'!
It is so true.
Read it yourself and tell me what you think:

Three foolproof steps to losing weight

EMILY KAYE LAZZARO

Last updated 14:15, January 6 2015

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PUSH IT GOOD: Step 2 in this unconventional guide to losing weight: don't hold back on exercise - at all.

It's January, the season of resolutions! How fun.

Losing weight and getting healthy is one of the most common resolutions. An admirable goal — we all want to be our best selves, don't we? 

There's an entire industry built around helping us. There are fad diets (Atkins, Paleo, juice fasts, I did a cabbage soup diet in high school, oof) and trendy workouts (Zumba, ballet barre, Prancercise). But losing weight is much simpler than it seems.

What follows is a foolproof way to lose weight. No measuring, no agonising, no books to buy — no money to spend at all, in fact. I guarantee that if you follow these three easy steps you will lose weight.

STEP 1: BE HUNGRY

The first step is to be hungry. If you are not hungry, do not eat. When enough time has passed that you feel hungry, eat food. It's as simple as that. Now, don't eat too much food. Like, don't eat enough food that you no longer feel hungry. And by food, of course I mean seven almonds (limit one serving of seven almonds per day). Make sure they are raw almonds and don't have any added sugar or salt or flavour.

Does it matter what you eat? I don't know. I'm not a doctor. What I do know is if you're not hungry, you're not doing it right. You know it's working when you're consistently hungry enough to be very, very grumpy. Let yourself get so grumpy that you are rude to your co-workers and it puts your personal relationships in jeopardy. That's how you know Step 1 is working.

STEP 2: EXERCISE MORE THAN YOU THINK IS REASONABLE

This step is easy! Put on a sports bra or boxer briefs, lace up your sneakers, and get outside! Once you are outside, move your body around wildly, until you feel very tired. When you feel tired, keep going. Keep going for, like, 45 more minutes after you think you can't keep going. Do this every day.

Walking is fine if you're interested in getting healthier in your heart or lungs or to avoid diabetes or whatever, but if you are interested in losing weight for the purpose of vanity, you'll have to do more than walk. You should run as fast as you can, sprint up stairs, throw your body to the ground and then quickly jump back up, over and over and over again, until you are afraid for your life. Be G.I. Jane. If you're not sweating and gasping for breath, you probably aren't doing it right.

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Pick up heavy things, that's supposed to work too. Do whatever you feel will make you sweaty and tired. This can be free or this can cost money. If you are rich, do CrossFit. If you are poor, just run outside and up and down stairs at the library or other places homeless people hang out.

"But you said I have to be hungry. How can I exercise when I am hungry?" Good question. Very good question. Here's the answer: shut up and do it. Every day.

STEP 3: TIE YOUR SELF-WORTH TO YOUR SCALES

This step is the most psychological of the three, and arguably the easiest of all of them. This step doesn't even require you to do anything at all, except give in to your already powerful self-doubt. Have you never felt good enough? Use it. Did Amanda Cooper make fun of you for being fat in Year Five? Amanda was right. You were fat in Year Five. Use it. You'll show Amanda.

This step is easiest if you are a woman, as society makes women feel bad about themselves every day. Making women feel bad about how they look is a great way for companies to make money. But don't worry, everyone can tie their self-worth to the number on the scale. Gay men know about this as they have been pressured to be thin since time immemorial. Now straight men can get in on the action, too. Remember how much everyone freaked out about actor Chris Pratt? Chris Pratt's probably sitting in his mansion in the Hollywood Hills right now being like, "nobody called me fat before I lost a bunch of weight, but have they all been thinking it? This is terrible, now I have to keep up with this whole diet and exercise thing forever. This must be what it feels like to be a woman." Very astute, Chris Pratt. That guy gets it.

So, follow my easy, three-step plan and the pounds will melt away. All you have to do is be hungry, exercise until you want to die, and give in to societal pressures to be thin.

But seriously, how does one do this? I still have 30-odd pounds of baby weight to lose. When I was gaining too much weight when I was pregnant, I asked my obstetrician what I should do and she said, "Avoid certain foods, like some fruits and stuff. Avoid carbs. "I said, 'Wait, what fruits should I avoid?'" And she said, "I guess like all fruits? I can refer you to a nutritionist." So basically, even doctors don't know.

Probably the best thing to do is develop healthy hobbies, like running or biking. Get a diet buddy who you can hang out with and complain deeply about how hungry and grumpy you both are. Believe in yourself, that sort of thing. It might not actually be easy, but it can be done.

Emily Kaye Lazzaro is a writer, actor and playwright based in Somerville, Massachusetts.

 - The Washington Post

I have never read anything quite so bloody true.

It ain't rocket science.  It's down to sheer will power, determination, and sticking to it.
Diet buddies are good too... I have several down in Palmerston North (Sandra, Chris D, Lois, Anne, Janene to name a few)... and I really miss them and the support they gave me.

I wish I had clicked at a WW meeting here, then I might have made some new 'diet buddies' in real life.  But sadly I didn't. 

So, now I have my internet/blog/weight loss girlfriends to support me in my never ending endeavours!  I hope I never give up.  Some days I feel I will.

Now.  On to something more fun.
We all got sunburnt yesterday, so it's an inside day.
I think we will go 'window shopping', or at least wander around a mall for a while.

ONWARD...

Well... we did indeed go to the mall... Sylvia Park.  We had lunch.  We got some cash and headed over to Panmure.

To buy this:

ABOVE:  A brand new Kirby vacum cleaner.

There's quite a story to this.

23 years ago I bought one from a door-to-door salesman.  We paid cash, so got it for $WXYZ.00

15 years after buying it, and using it as a domestic cleaner, and as a sprayer for in my pottery, it blew up.

I thought it had done very well to last that long, considering the thrashing it got!

Anyway, we then went on to buy the usual sort of vacum cleaners on the market, Panasonic, Dyson and a few others I forget.  Not one of them lasted longer than a year.  

So, when our latest waste of money died, I decided I was going to get a Kirby again.

I went to the Kirby shop in Panmure and asked the man how much they are now?
He told me if I bought one from a door-to-door salesman it would be $3,800... or there abouts.

I was like "Fuck that!"

Then he said I could buy one from him direct, and it would cost me a lot less.

Then he asked me what I had paid for my last one... to which I replied "$WXYZ.00".

WELL!   He said I could buy a brand new one TODAY for the same price!   So I did.

And I couldn't be happier.   The same price as what I paid 23 years ago!    And about $2,000 less than if I bought it from a door-to-door salesman! SCORE.

It is arriving either tomorrow afternoon, or Friday morning.  We are all excited.

Excited about a BLOODY VACUM CLEANER!!!  Too funny.

Stew has gone to the Doctor.  He was lifting weights about a week ago and hurt his right arm.  It's been really, really painful ever since.  He tried topical pain relief, but it's not really helping.  I reckon he's pulled some ligaments, or done some sort of muscle damage.   Fingers crossed the Doc can help.

Well I don't know that the Doctor helped much.  Gave him some anit inflammatories and a referal to a physiotherapist.  Not sure if Stew will go though, we will wait and see if the anti inflam's help.

The rest of the day has been fairly quiet.  I've not done anything much, just lazed the afternoon away really.

End of Day:  another nice day, very hot outside, so we all avoided the sun as much as possible.  Sunburn is easing though.
nite nite