Time to yak some more about shit.
I've come to realise my biggest problem isn't WORRYING about things/people, it really is all about how I struggle to handle stress/stressful situations.
I actually DON'T handle them at all.
I need to find out WHY.
After I've been to the Dr's, I'm going to come home and paint the house walls that are inside the archgola. That I can do even though it's raining cats 'n' dogs.
I'm loving the slightly cooler temperatures that come with the rain. Not so much the humidity.
ONWARD...
Do you ever wonder about Psychologists and what they are on about? lol
Today I had to listen to a ticking clock and try to ignore everything else around me.
It's called 'Mindfulness'. Learning to relax and just 'be in the moment', allowing everything else to fade out of your brain.
I tried it.
I failed.
All I could think about was how hot it was in that office, how the lower wall was filthy and needed to be cleaned, and who the hell was in the next room making a cuppa tea? ! Oh and I felt stupid.
But... I will practise it.... you can focus on your breathing, on a visual object or an auditory thing... like the clock. Who knows, with practise I might learn to relax and not be living on the edge ALL. THE. TIME.
Cos that's what I'm doing. Constantly living in a state of stress and anxiety, waiting for the next shoe to drop/the next disappointment/the next problem.
And that is not a good way to live apparently.
Hmmm.....
I also have to write down everything that is stressing me out.
Recognise it.
Resolve it if I can.
If I can't resolve it, I have to let it go.
LET. IT. GO.
Sounds easy eh?
HA HA HA!!!
Again... I WILL TRY. Cos I can't keep on like this. And nor can Stew.
He is going to get dragged into my 'therapy', and he is going to try these things too. He might not know this yet... but ... "HI DARLING! Now ya do".
It's lunch time. I'm starving. Time to find food.
It's done. As of today, we are officially 'off the market'. We will take a break for a week or two and get a few things done around the house, painting, staging etc, then go back on the market.
It's going to be a busy time.
I've had a lovely afternoon. I asked Steve and Bex to come for dinner, so I got to spend ages with Dante and Archer, which did me good.
I cooked lamb chops in mint sauce, accompanied by mashed potatoes, cauliflower cheese and veges. It was delicious.
Now they have gone home and it's back to peace and quiet.
can you look into that offer from the young couple, once your agents agreement expires in a month? I know they looked at house at an open home but if you took it off the market you might be able to wait a few days/weeks and sell it to them privately. Maybe get some free legal advice (assuming they are still interested) Just an idea.
ReplyDeleteAutumn..... finally!!! xxxx
ReplyDeleteHope your visit turned out helpful. At the moment I sure can relate . Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSounds very difficult but like it could be a good exercise to practice! You are not alone in stressing. I have a big family (although not as big as yours) and while I love it, one of the down sides is sometimes it feels as if there are a lot of people with a lot of life to worry about, if that makes sense? Sometimes it feels as if even if you are fine, there is a lot of potential stuff going on - one person has a cancer scare and another is miserable over their job, etc. It is a lot to deal with and if you want to try and help people with their problems, or at the very least want to not see your loved ones struggling, it is a lot to have going on in your head. I hope it helps you.
ReplyDeleteIt is true, waiting for the next shoe to drop (whether in your life or someone else's) is no way to live! But easier said than done.
Good luck with everything, Penny xo
Mindfulness can be really helpful. I did a course of Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) a few years ago and when I get really strung up with stress and anxiety and don't know which way to turn I use some of the techniques I learnt. A bloke called Dr Russ Harris wrote a book called The Happiness Trap and a lot of the mindfulness activities used today are based on it. If you can get hold of it, it's a really good and easy read.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping a new agent with new clients will bring the desired outcome. It's time that Karma shone a bit of light on you both and gave you a break!! xxx
I will look for that book, thanks.
DeleteI used to have a key ring that said its only my stress holding me together I'm never relaxed think it's because I'm a libra always need balance I try the mindfulness colouring books fail cause I need perfection when I'm colouring so now I go to sleep listening to a relaxation app I down loaded lol it must b really good to feel relaxed my husband is the one person that never stressed and god I hate him for it he is always saying why stress about what u can't change you can't control everything what will b will b yeah right
ReplyDeleteLove your husband's attitude, wish I had it. I'm a Libra too.
DeleteDon’t laugh, but have you tried meditation? There is a woman in my Yoga class (beginners) who also signed up for the Learn Meditation class and she said that even only after 2 classes she has noticed a big difference in her stress levels, temperament & she is sleeping better. Believe me this chick is NOT a hippy dippy mung bean eating type, she is the polar opposite and is the first to admit that she was a stressed out angry person. Ours are through Yoga Ground, I am not sure when the next course starts, it is $ 150 for 6 weeks. If it did help even a bit it is better than having to take medication (or listen to ticking clocks).
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, keep practicing with the clock thing or something similar because it is about training your mind to switch off, it is impossible to do it for any length of time the first time, your mind is always going to wander, keep practicing & it will get longer between random thoughts.
Mindfulness is a form of meditation I'm told. I haven't tried it seriously ever. Always thought it was a bit nuts. lol
DeleteTurning ones mind off is hard I went to and still attend Women of Worth 20 week course and they have mindfulnessm in 2 of the sessions and mine is WRITING all my jobs to do things and worries down and crossing off as each one is done resolved now SOME days my list is A MINEFIELD other days not so but generally by end of day or week most jobs things done, this week I am down to 2 jobs and I have already done 1 so I am looking forward to some relaxing time ahead and come Easter when I have 5 days off I WILL BE SORTED lol.
ReplyDeleteHaha. I would be just like you. I might seem like I'm listening to the clock but inside my head would be busy busy busy. I too would notice the dirty wall, what's happening in the next room, how hot or cold it is, how hungry I am and how bored I am !!! The more you do it the better at mindfulness you get - or so I'm told. Not working for me yet but I'll persevere.
ReplyDeleteI was so stressed living in Canterbury with the earthquakes. I was even hospitalised with suspected heart problems but it was anxiety. Which is a real illness! Funny thing is that eve now that the tremors have returned I am letting them go and not stressing about them . What will be will be . And I won't let me be dominated by them . Can't tell you how or why I've learnt to cope but I have. And I'm hoping that one day you turn the corner and life is rosy for you again xx
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh I remember a friend of mine was sat down in front of a TV to look at something relaxing for her psychologist appointment, all she could think of was the blanket they put on her looked dirty and same as you thought a spot of cleaning would be in order...and thought the money would be better spent on a pair of shoes...lol....
Cheers
Peta
My husband once got told he was to practice being bored. Don't read, don't watch TV, literally watch the grass grow. Difficult, for sure. But, it's a good relaxation technique. And I always live by the motto if you can't change it, let it go. Don't waste your energy on it.
ReplyDeleteListening to a ticking clock would stress me out even more ticking clocks drive me batty
ReplyDeleteAs for meditation if u could unclench my teeth and jaw perhaps I'd c a Benifit to it but until us can turn off the 59 million things going on in ya head which as a no ther is dam near impossible
Good luck Chris xx
Interesting article about home staging here (slewed towards agents & home stagers). Might be all you need is a consultation and can do the rest yourself. http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/home-property/77379791/home-staging--do-you-need-it-and-is-the-expense-justified
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I had just finished reading that article then read your comment.
DeleteIt's normal to find that sort of exercise difficult at first, but persevere and it will get easier. Reading your post above reminded me that I used to be like that- in a constant state of anxiety. I'd forgotten what it feels like! At first it's hard to let go but it can be done, and if anyone can do it, you can - you're a very determined and courageous woman. Really hope it works for you, and enjoy the break from the Open Homes.
ReplyDeleteI've done this kind of therapy before - emptying your mind, not thinking of anything. It's really, really hard. At my best, I could do it for 30 secs. A long time ago, I tried qigong and doing this emptying your mind is part of the exercise. The qigong master too said it's very hard to do but not impossible. Gets better with practice.
ReplyDeleteI do mindfulness exercises with my classes. They really like it and it has reduced a lot of anxiety in my kids. There is a free and really good app called smilingmind which leads you through mindfulness so you don't have to listen to a clock! I highly recommend it!
ReplyDeleteIf you're officially off market, just a thought, should you mention this to your neighbour who previously showed interest. I'd tell them and ask them what's your situation and if they still have interest. Give them a few days to sleep on it, if they come back to you and have interest get your solicitor to do all the paperwork and cut out the middle man.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh mindfulness. HOW MUCH is this guy getting paid an hour to teach you this?? It just takes a lot of time and practice and I don't know many people who are "there" yet. ENJOY your time with the house off the market. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't find clocks ticking relaxing, that stresses me out lol.
ReplyDeleteThe boys are so cute! Archer is getting so big already.