WHAT TO DO NOW???

Hmmm, for the first time in 3 and a half years, I'm not racing around getting ready to go to Weight Watchers.... and I'm feeling weird... like.... what do I do now?
Still thinking of what to "replace" WW with, maybe a small informal group of friends who get together on a weekly basis to weigh and chat about our weeks' efforts? That one has been suggested by two lovely friends here, who also only go to WW once in a while... am scared actually, of having stopped going!

Scared of gaining again... scared of losing that contact with friends, like, were they only my friends on Saturday? I suppose I am going to find out eh? I textd my WW Leader, who's become a very good friend, to tell her I was giving up WW, and I havn't heard back from her... maybe she didn't get my text? Feeling let down.

I walked into town this morning, it took 45 minutes, met my WW buddy and we then walked to our usual coffee shop (another 20 minute walk) and were met by two other WW friends.. and we have decided to have an informal get together probably on a fortnightly basis, to weigh and yak... so we can support each other in the continued battle.
I also text'd my WW Leader again this morning, and will wait and see if she replies, if she doesn't, I shall ring her... cos her friendship is very important to me and I NEED TO KNOW why she hasn't replied... it is eating away at me! Maybe her phone ain't working? Usually she text's me a dozen times a week! Something ain't right there....

Stew and the kids are off over the ranges to Pahiatua, to watch a rugby game played by a team Mike is thinking of joining... so I'm off shopping!

We need another computer desk, for the dining room for me..... we already have TWO computer desks upstairs....but the boys use them, so I need one of my own! The two upstairs are mine too, but the boys want them! So, I'm outta here shopping...*BIG SMILE*

I have found a computer desk and bits that I quite like (in blue) and... a cute wee writing desk in recycled pine.... both would do fine... so am waiting till tomorrow when Stew can come look with me before I decide... pretty amazing for me actually, I am usually rip - shit and bust to get it RIGHT NOW! But I can't quite make up my mind, so another view will be good... can't wait till tomorrow now!

I got a quick text back from my WW Leader, she is going to ring me later.... waiting.....

Maybe she forgot? Feeling let down even more now. Am watching some idiot movie on the telly, might just go to bed.

Going to town tomorrow to decide on computer desk Vs. Writing Desk, till tomorrow... nite nite.

WOW !

Thanks for all the suggestions and support! I do believe I am getting much more support from 'Blogland' with the weight journey than Weight Watchers, too right! And as for what to drink: I'm going to alternate between the friggin orange flavoured soda water (sugar free) and diet coke, it isn't going to kill me to have some!

I know it is the artificial sweetners that are the evil part, but hey I don't smoke or drink, I avoid buses and big trucks on the road (like I look both ways before crossing eh?), so I reckon I'm allowed to take a risk and drink it.... as I said, you only live once!

For those of you who suggested 'Crystal Light'... what is it, I have never heard of it before... maybe we don't get it down here in New Zealand?
Today: kids to school, gym workout, walk the dog, housework.... and hopefully the Gasfitters will come and fix me stove? Waiting....

BLOODY HELL Jules ! Suppose I better go have a look at Phoenix Organics then !! Thank you soooo much for caring enough to comment FIVE times eh? lol



Boody hell again! I have got suggestions coming out me ears! Thanks so much! I am going to get on the net and check out the options, Phoenix Organics sounds good, don't know about importing Crystal Light, seems to be a lot of hassels involved, payments, inport fees, duty taxes etc. BUT thank you for the information. The wee dog is how I looked when I saw how many comments came in over the morning! LOL!


YES MELLISA, Diet Coke Rocks for sure, but drinking over 3 litres a day does not ! that's how much I USED to drink, and I don't want to go back to that much.... ever.

The Gasfitters arrived, dicked around, couldn't find the leak (There IS one), and are coming back later with their gas detector..... derrr, like shouldn't they have brought it in the first place??? Fuckwits. OH , BAD BAD LANGUAGE.

What da ya know, they came back with their thingee, and found a leak.... fixed it and and told me to send the $175 call out fee from the Gas Company to them.... too right I will !
Now I can cook on me stove again... yaaaa.

So I cooked.... lamb chops in mint sauce, fresh spuds and veges.. and I had too much and now feel sick. Twit. Am going to watch American Idol now... then may get on the exercycle, so that's me for another day... nite nite. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS, I really appreciate it.

DECISION MADE...

It's not working any more.... so I have decided, after three and a half years, to leave Weight Watchers ...... I am not enjoying the meetings anymore, I have heard all the speil over and over again, I think I do know what I have to do by now without going to another meeting! I am over worrying about weigh in every week, and stressing out about it... then going and not weighing. I am not going to put myself under that stress anymore, and who knows, it may actually help me get back on track again, knowing I don't have that pressure?

I will definitly miss all the friends I have made there, though I am sure I will not actually "lose" them ... we can get together in other places instead.

So, what am I going to do instead? Still thinking about that one...

What else? I am SICK TO BLOODY DEATH of drinking orange flavoured water.... I HATE IT.... so I have been drinking some diet coke again... up to about 2 glasses a day... I do not want to get back to 3 litres a day though! I hate tea, coffee... any suggestions???
TODAY: I'm staying home and doing some badly needed housework.... should be just as good as a workout!

Decaff Diet Coke... has been suggested... any ideas/comments on this as a possible alternative ? Or is it still EVIL ..

Vacuming - done
Floors washed and polished - done
Read all available magazines - done

Waiting to hear back from the Gasfitters ... need my stove fixed... shame I can still cook using the microwaves, frying pan, BBQ etc... no excuses ... bugger.

I suppose switching to Diet Pepsi wouldn't be any better eh? lol

Not much else is happening here, did not hear from the Gasfitters, the shits.. am signing off for the day. nite nite.

DARE I HOPE FOR A NORMAL DAY

So many ups and downs in the past few days, I am hoping for a nice normal day today.... no dramas, no nerves eating away at me... just kids to school, RPM at the Gym, maybe lunch in town with Stew? I hope so...

Lisa is not here at the mo, she's "housesitting" for her grandparents....? Don't know what's the haps really, but as long as Steve is ok, and he seems to be, I'm keeping out of it.

Now, I must get Mike out of bed, he's got to find himself a job for the next 10 months..... stuffed if I'm gunna watch him sleep all day!

Dragged me sorry butt down to the gym..... soooo didn't feel like going, but once the class started I got into in and ended up enjoying it, now I'm darn tired!
Got home to find a comment (yeah thanks Lee-anne) saying I was having too many normal days...

Guess What? I love being "normal" and having "normal" days, cos it means I am just like everyone else, not a hugely overweight, reclusive, suicidal person who is miserable day in day out. My life is busy, full of friggin annoying kids (who I love), endless housework, and it IS good.

Sometimes things just don't get done, like the vacuming, cos I want to enjoy my life a bit now, like going to the gym, so if that makes me selfish, TOO BLOODY BAD! *Shrugging shoulders*

I have been raising kids for 28 years now, and I still have two littlies, but the difference now is that I know I have to make time for myself. You only live once!
Lee-Anne, thanks for giving me some fodder for "something" to yak about today, it has been a very boring day! Normal even!!! ha haha.
Hmmmm, come to think of it, I don't think I like boring days, too much time to wander around looking for something to eat.... why oh why does my mind always think of food when I am bored?! Something I still have to work on constantly.

Someone doesn't like me! I have been smelling gas on and off for a few months in my kitchen/dining room... havn't been too worrried thinking it was just residual smell from the gas oven, but today it was so strong I had to ring the Gas Company, who declared it an 'EMERGENCY' and sent a chap out immmediately ... who found the new stove was leaking gas. As a consequence we have no stove (oh yaaa, I can't cook)! What a disaster.... NOT ! Now I have to get the Gas Fitters out who installed the stove to fix it, hope they pay the $175 call out fee I'm gunna be charged by the Gas Company ! so, not so boring day afterall... ha ha ha.

Sooo tired now, just did the grocery shopping... Over $740 later.... So don't know what it all goes on! Anyway, that's the end of another day. nite nite.

SMEAR....

TUMMY TUCK NEXT POST DOWN..

Woke up this morning with feeling of impending doom/disaster... felt dreadful and paced around the house till Stew came home to take me for my smear test...needed him to hold me hand.
Arrived, met nurse, she was lovely, and straight into it..... and to my neverending relief she found my cervix immediately (I'm not a freak afterall) !! and like 2 minutes tops and it was over!!! THANK GOD.
Left there with a huge smile on my face! Then went walking with my gym buddy, so am feeling on top of the world right now.

Today I got all upset cos my friggin engaged teenagers had a tiff, and it looked like it was all over .... Lisa packed a bag and left... 4 hours later they are back on..... I wish they would make up their bloody minds! They don't seem to realise that their ups and downs affect everyone else around them....

Mike has finally made some decisions about what he's doing with his life... he left school last week, he has already passed NCEA level 3 and can go to University... he's decided to work the rest of this year and then go to Auckland University to do a 4 year Physiotherapy Degree. So at least he's finally made up his mind! Oh my god, does this mean I will finally have a spare bedroom next year!!! The mind boggles, lol.

BACK TO NORMALACY....

Today, kids to school then off to the gym, I have not done much exercise at all in the last 3 days and feel really sluggish.

Then, when I get home again.... I will post the photos of my trip, feet and all.... bet ya can't wait ! lol




Hamilton Lake, with Waikato Hospital in the background.. I love this view. I had Mike in this Hospital 17 years ago!

Here's one bird brave enough to put it's feet in the Hamilton Lake, cos I wasn't! It is filthy!

The Waikato River, with the M V Waipa Delta in the background, this paddle boat does Lunch/Dinner cruises up and down the river... I have been on it twice, it is very nice, if a bit boring!

This reminded me why I don't miss the Waikato! Fog fog and more fog, this photo was taken at Atiamuri, my family used to live about 10 miles from here.... I DO NOT MISS IT ! Oh and there is water just to the left, the Waikato River again.

The most awesome stretch of water in the North Island.. Huka Falls, about 2 miles up the road is the birth of the Waikato River as it leaves Lake Taupo... This is the river narrowing to get through a gorge, it is amazing.

This is the closest my foot is ever going to get to this stetch of water, for sure! Anyone with a death wish can get closer. Huka Falls again obviously.

Lake Taupo, what can I say? My foot looked prettier than the Lake yesterday! It was dull and overcast.... shame.

My foot, encased in my shoe, there was no way I was walking over all those rocks in me bare feet! This is a mountain stream at the base of Mount Ruapehu.... and that water was friggin freezing!

Mount Ruapehu, she looks naked without her snow! Across the bottom of the photo is a dirty line, that is where the lahar came through... if flowed down the mountain then took a curve and out across the countryside to sea.... just last week! It would have been amazing to see!

Just south of Hunterville, there is a small lake - big pond ? and it has this "thing" floating in it... It looks like a shark's fin from a distance.... It has always made me smile cos it's in the middle of nowhere! And I have NO IDEA what it is or why it's there, it just IS.

So, there ya go, me Road Trip in photos...

On to the rest of my day.....

Done the gym thing, picked up the ironing from last week (ooops forgot it), picked up Stew from work, he's not feeling well, picked up kids from school... Brylee has a huge fat lip - collided with some other kid...and am now contemplating what to feed my lot for dinner.

Don't think I will be going to gym tonight, I'm feeling a bit jaded. Must be all the travelling catching up with me, and I don't sleep well in strange beds, even with my own pillow! Oh well..onward.

I have been asked on numerous ocassions now about my Tummy Tuck, so tomorrow I am going to dedicate my post to MY TUMMY TUCK, that way I will not be repeating my story over and over again! Not that I mind, but it will be good to try and answer all the questions I've been asked in one hit! Hope no one minds, gory details and all...... to come !!!

Now, don't expect me to have it up first thing! I shall have to do my usual morning routine first, so expect it around lunchtime, all going well.

That's me for today, unless something amazing happens in the meantime.. bye for now.

SUNDAY... SO ORIGINAL !

I am home safely... lots to do ... lunch, shower, speech.... will update properly later..... it will be a BIGGIE !!!

Ok, here goes, above Me and my four biggest "kids"...left to right: Russell (almost 24), Kelly( 25 today !), Me, Lacy(27) and Amanda(28).

Left to right and top to bottom: Amanda, Lacy, Kelly and Russell.

Russell and his partner, Corina.

Above and to the side, my new friend Mandy (Chubby Mum), she is soooo nice! Notice me fat face!!! My fluid retention is very noticeable in the mornings.... I had only had 4 piddles by then.... needed about 4 more!

Mandy and her wee family, don't know what her poor man thought of me.... my parting words were " I better go before I piss on the floor"...... really, I am so embarrasing ...even to myself, why can't I be polite? ha ha ha

Now that I've got these photos on, I shall work on doing a "Road Trip with me Feet in Water" tomorrow... now that should be riveting eh???

The Speech: I was soooo nervous.... derrrr. There was supposed to be around 10-20 people there, and only 4 turned up! So it was nice... I did me blurb, and as I got into it the nerves went, then there was no stopping me... I yakked for about 40 minutes, showed them my before and after photos etc, the huge clothes I used to wear....answered a few questions, threatened to hit one woman over the head for making excuses.. she did laugh (luckily), and I had a ball ! *BIG SMILE*

Wonder if I'll get asked to do it again, I kinda hope so, I can see me maybe getting into Motivational Speeches, may even do a course so I can be a Personal Trainer yet! Thinking about it anyway... if I ain't too old!

Right, that's me for the day, a quiet evening ahead.... nite nite.

AMAZING BUT SOOOO TRUE!!!

Thank You Kate, you are totally right, last night's dinner at the restaurant was all about the company, and really nothing about the food.... so weird... I did enjoy the dinner, but I LOVED the company. Seeing all my big kids was the highlight of my evening. I think we all just enjoyed being together....

Today.... busy day planned, may be meeting a fellow blogger for morning tea, not sure yet as she may have had to leave town due to a family member's death.. looking at wedding and bridesmaids dresses for next year's wedding (Amanda and Andrew's, eldest daughter) and catching up with some other friends. And of course, back up to the hospital to visit with Freida again.

Arn't I lucky Amanda has a computer? Really, I'd be totally lost without one! later...

So far today.. I have seen a few old friends, and met a new one.... Mandy (Chubby Mum), we got on like a house on fire, seriously, we could have stayed talking for ages, but managed to contain ourselves with only an hour and a half! I really really loved meeting her, such a lovely, beautiful woman. And her husband and sons were rather nice too!
I just hope she didn't leave thinking "shit that woman can talk" lol ! I can talk believe me !!!

Hell, I crack myself up sometimes.....

Still having a wonderful time... getting butterflies thinking about tomorrow.....

My girlfriend Frieda is doing really well, she has been up outta bed 3 times today... she had knee replacement surgery..... quite an impressive wound I must say. Those staples look gruesome! later....

Having dinner with friends, then back to Amanda's for an early night, ready to take off nice and early in the morning.... want to get some photos of my trip home.... feet and all. nite nite

NICE DAY FOR A ROAD TRIP

I'm off to Hamilton (4 hrs away), and it's a glorious day for it..... shall get to see the mountain, and hopefully the lahar. and it is so nice driving around lake Taupo.

Well, came on to update for the day and lost half of what I'd already written Stupid computers and their buttons!

Nevermind, got here after a 5 hours trip, non-stop but lots of traffic and road works held me up a bit. It was, as I expected, a glorious trip, so much gorgeous scenery, I wanted to stop and take photos of me feet in a mountain stream, in the lake, in the mighty Waikato River and in the Hamilton Lake... but didn't.....maybe on the way home .... anyone interested in seeing me feet in water??? LOL LOL

Visited my girlfriend in hospital, she must have been feeling ok cos she'd managed to PUT HER FACE ON !!! I had to laugh !

Then the nicest thing... went to dinner with all 4 of my big kids, Lacy came over from Tauranga and we all went out to Valentines.. Russell brought his partner Corina too, so we actually had a really lovely time.... lots of laughs and photos taken... I am so happy ... havn't seen them all together in about 3.5 years !!! I am having a wonderful time! Photos will have to wait till I get home, Amanda's computer won't let me download them.... nite nite !

PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS

Gunna be the usual sort of day,except the kids get out of school early today due to Parent Teacher Interviews, seeing Griffin's teacher at 2pm and not sure about Brylee's, her teacher is away sick. I have no idea how Griffin is doing, so it will be great to talk to his teacher. We kinda know where Brylee is at, cos she's in a special programme and they keep us up to date anyway.

Am off walking this morning with Gym Buddy, I suppose we shall be charging up the bloody hill again, and me thinks she will make me jog again too... such a tart!

later...WE had a lovely walk, went up the hill no problems at all, even managed to talk most of the way!!! We did not, however, do much jogging, in fact we only did one stint.... that was enough for me! My legs were quite sore and stiff for ages, probably from all the weights I did yesterday.... I LOVE IT !!!

My darling grown up children in Hamilton are taking me out to dinner tomorrow night while I'm up there, soooo nice! Now will I be good, or evil ???? Maybe if I eat crackers all day tomorrow and saturday, then I can have pudding ! YEP, Sounds like a good idea to me! hee hee he. May not be 'BALANCED' diet, but it will work for me. The only annoying thing is I can't take me piddle pills while travelling, ever tried to find a public loo or place to hide behind every 15 minutes???? In the middle of the wops? So , my legs will be swollen for the weekend, so what's new?
Shit happens.
But.... I am planning a lovely weekend away..... and as long as I'm back in time to do the speech on Sunday afternoon all will be good. This will keep my mind off getting nervous about the speech too..... surprise surprise, I can get nervous about speaking to strangers eh! I know once I get going I should be fine....


Both kids doing fine, Brylee coming along in leaps and bounds.... Griffin is a "lovely boy" who isn't quite ready to do the reading and writing stuff yet, he just wants to play! But she's not worried about him, he's a bright button. Oh yaaaa.


Took them both for a haircut after school, took a whole hour! Griffin had his done then spent the next 30 minutes sweeping the salon floor, cos he wanted to... and his mouth never stopped the whole time we were there... whereas Brylee was as quiet as a mouse. talk about 2 different kids... and just cos I can, some picture of the two littlies today....






Oh, and I have been totally good with food today ... so far....
had some chinese takeaways for dinner, didn't have much at all... just wasn't that nice. Am packing my bag now, watching Grey's Anatomy on the telly then going to bed... if I can update while away I will.... nite nite.

I'VE GOT A HEADACHE

Darn, I've got a headache, havn't had one for months and I don't like it! Actually, I've had it for a few days now, wonder why?

Onward, this morning I'm meeting with the Personal Trainer to go over my "speech" and what aspects she wants me to cover, so that's great, at least I'll have an idea of what she wants me to yabber on about. I have my photos and clothes to show her too, wonder what she will think? Sometimes I feel so ashamed of my fat clothes and photos.... then I remember that I HAVE TURNED my life around and I should be proud of that I suppose.

After yakking to her I've got RPM, spin cycle class....

Well it's been quite a morning so far...
- went and had the meeting re: speech , that went excellently
- did spin cycle class - excellent!
- Darling niece rang with bad news, tried to help?
- Daughter No#3 text'd a few times re: family issues
- Son No#3 finally decided he would leave school today
- It's the 8th Anniversary today of the death of my darling brother Vern, Ican't believe it is 8 years, it feels like yesterday sometimes. I loved him soooo much, I felt like crying and did.

Yikes, lost some of my post... amazing how one little touch of a button can do that eh?

Oh well, thank you so much for the caring comments .... I needed that! Sometimes one's own family is too close to the issues one faces to realise that one is sad and upset, and maybe needs a hug?
Michelle... thanks for the lovely "card", it made me smile. I could almost feel the love coming at me, *BIG SMILE*.

I've had a wee sit down, watched some silly midday telly, that's enough to make ya realise your life ain't that bad! Stupid soaps!!
I've decided to take a trip up to Hamilton to visit my dearest friend Frieda, who is having an operation on her knee tomorrow, I shall probably catch up with the 3 big kids who live there too. I am going on my own, it is too far to take the littlies for just two days.... 4 hours there and 4 back. Luckily the mountain has just had it's Lahar (mud flow) so the roads are all open again. **

** Mt Ruapehu has a crater lake, it overflowed and burst it's banks a couple of days ago, poured down the mountain and out to sea, no casualties this time, last time it happened dozens of people died.

Picking up the kids shortly, then it's on to sorting out dinner etc...

OK people, I'm outta my funk, so happy about that! I don't usually feel shitty for long, at the most a day....
The family are having lamb chops cooked in Thick Mint Sauce tonight, my mouth is drooling just thinking about it.... so I'm going to the gym as soon as I've dished it up cos I really don't need any more food today, thank you very much! I have been making excellent food choices today, but I have been rather generous with my portions......derrrrrrr. Comfort eating , what an excuse.....

Above, Mike doing a good impression of a boy who went to school without any lunch..... eating left over roast pork... cold.

And Steve, trying not to smile, showing off his GINGA beardy thing..... red like his Dad....

Ok, went to the gym and did half of the Body Attack class, then did my weights routine, and upped the amounts on some of them... had wobbly legs again. heee heee

Am now winding down for the day, been yakking with two darling nieces today, and me Mum, so that was nice. nite nite.

BIT SORE, YAAA

I'm a bit sore today! Hmmm wonder why? Could it be the extra weights yesterday or doing Pump as well? So, pain means my muscles had a good work out, this is good.

Am off walking today, and I think I will do another weight session too..... can't let those muscles rest too long. And yes, I did call the Instructor a little shit, more than once actually! He just laughed at me, don't think too many middle aged women call him names! But that's just me.... I can't help myself! I told the RPM (spin cycle class) instructor that the gel seat had NOT helped me fanny either, he laughed too. One day my mouth may just get me into trouble I suppose, ....

Here's more of "Just cos I can".... some pictures of stuff I've made when I was a potter.... I stopped potting when we moved to Palmerston North 5 years ago, no time, no room for the Studio, no inclination....

I used to make and sell heaps of stuff, and I used to be a Pottery Tutor, mostly at Night School teaching adults, but I did go around primary schools doing "one off" lessons as well. It was so much fun! And the pay was fantastic too! I just loved teaching..... will probably get back into it one day.

Above, some random bowls, plates etc, I have given 99% of my personal collection away to my kids, hell I havn't even got a single cup/mug left !!!

Above, this one was fun to do, the painting took ages though!

What can I say? I made 100's of these bloody cows, they sold like hot cakes.... and the wee loo's too...... they were fun to make!

NOW, no one tell me off !!! I just spent 2.5 hours tidying, cleaning, vacuming and doing all the washing from upstairs .... yep the teenagers area! I just got sooooo sick of the mess, the smell, the sheer filth of it all.... and I'm knackered. BUT.... I am charging them $15 an hour for the pleasure of my cleaning abilities. If they want to live in a motel, fine, but they can pay! 26 friggin towels, two huge baskets of clothes, and two huge bags of rubbish, empty bottles, dirty dishes...... roll on friday when they have to pay.

So, after my efforts today, I didn't end up going back to the gym.... I didn't finish all the washing till dinner time! Oh yes, and I cooked a roast of pork for the family's dinner, it was very nice too. Been watching some of my favourtie tv programmes tonight.... Coronation Street, Ugly Betty and now Boston Legal.... ahh what a life. nite nite.

BEAUTIFUL MONDAY

When I went to bed last night, I had an amazing thought about something I was going to put on this blog.... but it's gone now! Why is it that when you wake up your mind is just a blank!

Anyway, I'm sure it will come back to me, in the meantime, I'm off to the gym again this morning, Weight training and I'm going to get the instructor to up the weights, I have learnt a lot this weekend about the positive benefits of weight training.... and I am rearing to go....

So, we upped the weights and it was awesome! The instructor was a little shit and kept putting more on, but it was great. I left with wobbly legs and jelly arms! I still find it so weird to be enjoying exercise! I NEVER EVER thought I would ever set foot inside a gym, let alone enjoy it. How life changes!
A girlfriend just turned up, doesn't happen very often so better go yak...



Above, a photo of my treasure chest... it's full of my kids teeth! We have lost a few over the years, had a burglar break into our house in Hamilton and break it open and we lost some then too (must have been soooooo dissapointing to find only teeth!), I am waiting now to put Brylee's first baby tooth in it.....There's a few "big" ones in there cos Lacy and Russell had to have some pulled out when they had Braces put on their teeth.





And above, a brass (?) fisherman figurine that my Mum gave to my Dad, and now it's mine... I just love it.... actually I love anything nautical, and I mean really really LOVE .... I would love to live on a boat one day! And I LOVE blue.... did you know that?

I'm having a nice day, don't know why, just am.

Just back from the gym, did Bodypump class, oh my god! My arms are now killing me, and my legs don't think much of me either! IT'S ALL GOOD ! The only surprise of the evening was coming out of the gym to find it was dark, and I had gone on me scooter, so I had to ride it home in the dark, that was a first, and a bit scary... but I got home fine! Going to watch the telly and wind down, have my veges and gravy for dinner .... so that's me for the day. nite nite.

IT'S SUNDAY!

I'm sitting here, thinking..... and my mind is a blank! I have RPM in an hour, I'm looking forward to that, then I have no idea what's the haps today...it's wet and miserable out there so a bush walk with the kids is no doubt out of the question.

I could do some bedroom painting? I could do the dusting? I could tidy the storeage loft? Oh bugger, I don't feel like doing anything really, but I know I will end up doing something or I shall just sit and veg out all day... which is not good.

I had a quick scan of The Clothesline Diet by Karen Gatt last night, amazing woman.... her "diet" is what I advocate to everyone : pure and simple common sense dieting, mixed with exercise. It's not rocket science, why can't we all see how simple it is?

Simple, it boils down to the "want" factor, you have to want to lose your weight enough to actually do it. You have to want to lose it for YOURSELF, not to please or impress someone else.

Ok, I better go and get ready for my spin class....PHEW! That was hard man!!! I'm wet with sweat.. eeeewww. Loved it though, will definitely keep doing that twice a week.
Got home to be informed: Brylee has her first wiggly tooth! Wow, the start of the tooth fairy AGAIN... my biggest problem will be making sure HE doesn't leave too much money (tooth fairy named "Stew") lol

later...Ok, some random photos, cos it's sunday and nothing is happening !

Above, my kitchen tiles, not very "grown up" but I loved them and had to have them! Very cute.

My "pink" corner in the lounge, I love pink in small doses.

The back of my van, I didn't want it being called The Banana, so I had white/blue bubbles put on it (sides and back) and named it The Yellow Submarine.... just cos I could. I like things to be a bit different, if possible.

It has been a very quiet afternoon/evening.... like nothing is happening! So nice for a change. Steve had to do a quick trip to Wellington to pick up supplies for the Pizza Shop he works at.... so I was kinda worried about that.... having to go in a rush and with all the traffic and bad weather, but he and Lisa got back safely... thank goodness.

Now I can relax and watch some telly and then get on the treadmill later.... was going to do the exercycle, but me bums a bit sore from the spin class this morning! Wonder how long it will take for me fanny to get used to it? ha ha ha. nite nite

QUESTIONS QUESTIONS !

Good morning! And it is, I have had no mishaps "downstairs" at all, and it is such a load off my mind.

Livy: I have binged on the protein bars in the past as they are so delicious, but I am feeling very confident this time that I can stay on track and only have 1 a day, after gym.

Celtic - girl: like hell am I going to film myself giving the "Motivation" speech !!! Yee Gods, I'm not that good !!!

I am really looking forward to it though, I have been thinking of taking my "big" clothes along to show them too, that's a real shocker to show people!

I am off to weight watchers this morning, can't weigh.... way too much fluid on board... about 3 kgs worth in fact. I wish my blood tests had shown something up that could be worked on, but they didn't unfortunately. So it's just piddle pills and lots of piddling for me.
later...

We have just been to Breakers for our lunch, I had the chicken sandwich (devine) and .... wedges with sour cream... WELL IT IS SATURDAY EH?

Livy mate: no problem with your explanation, I'm just sorry I provoked you enough to feel you had to justify your exercise routine.. sorry. I put a reply on your blog too.

I have a rather black and white attitude to weight loss, from experience, I am afraid I tell it like it is, and to me it's simple, in order to lose weight - INPUT MUST BE LESS THAN OUTPUT....so if I'm not losing and doing heaps of exercise it means I'm still eating too much.... and if I'm eating properly and not losing, it means I'm not exercising enough! That's why I suggested you up your exercise/walking distance. I wish I could practise what I preach !

SMALL RANT COMING:...
Sometimes I comment on someone's blog, then think.... hmmmm wonder if they will take exception/or take it the wrong way/pack a mental with me??? I am often tempted not to comment cos of this fear of being critisized, but then, if I am being true to myself, I will just hope people take what I say in the vein I meant it....with heartfelt care and the hope that I may be helping them, or making them have a better day, or whatever. If I get it "wrong" or upset anyone, I apologise right now! I have put my foot in it a couple of times in the past few months, you have to accept that I am only human too... I am not a saint ladies! WE all have our own opinions, and I respect your right to your opinion, as I hope everyone who reads my blog or gets a comment from me accepts my opinion as just that, MY OPINION... it does not make it a fact, just an opinion. RANT OVER.

I have been a bit bummed out this afternoon, a few things went wrong today... Mike mainly ... so I ate ice cream... it was sugar free, but still ice cream.

Mike had the Provincial Athletic Champs today, he was entered in the Long Jump and Triple Jump, with Triple Jump this morning and Long Jump this afternoon. He turned up at the event this morning and the coach (who had seen Mike only yesterday) told him half an hour before his event "You can't participate unless you have a haircut, it's too long and we won't let you enter like that" !!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! So, the upshot was Mike missed out on competing in the Triple Jump, which he would have won, and had to come home, then go into town and have a haircut so he could enter the Long Jump this afternoon! HE WON THE LONG JUMP.... and is now off to the National Finals ! Stew and I are livid with the coach, as you can imagine, and this is just the sort of shit you get from Palmerston North Boy's High. Arseholes.

Ok, I've had a bad afternoon,and I'm ranting again, so will go. nite nite. Tomorrow is another day, and IT WILL BE A GOOD DAY.

FINALLY !

Ok, today's the day..... TOM is here and I couldn't be happier! Can't believe I just said that, but it means I can now try the pills the Doctor gave me to see if they work.... and it means all the extra (on top of my normal) fluid will piss off. I'm going to the gym.... got to have faith the pills will work eh?

Did my meal plan last night, so am now off to have my banana for pre-gym food... can't have a proper breakfast or I will just feel sick. later...

Well, I am having the wonderful day.... no problems at the gym, feel really YUK but that's life. Had a surprise at the gym ... the personal trainer who I have seen once came up to me and asked me if I would be interested in doing her a favour? Seems she takes a group of people for a 12 week Challenge thingee, and she wants me to do a "Motivation" speech for her to these people ! WEll, I am quite chuffed about being asked, and of course I said "Yes".... I'm not shy, I can talk till I'm blue in the face, particularly on this subject, and I love inspiring people to shift their weight. I told her I was a pretty blunt person, I will tell it like it is, no bullshitting ... and she said that's what these people need... the upshot is I get two free Personal Training Sessions with her which is worth $100... cool eh? So, I'm feeling quite happy right now... and my food today has been spot on too.

Renee: I have been to the library and got The Clothesline Diet Club book, the other one was not in. This one has personal stories of people who've done the diet, so I shall read it and see what I think. Thanks for that.

So far so good on the "flooding" front, nothing is happening! Like, it's just "normal"..... what a bloody relief! YAAAA HOOOOO
Tried to have a NANA NAP with Izzy, but forgot that a 8 month old golden retriever has no idea how to lie down and keep still... it was kinda cute though. She gets lonely so I thought I'd just have her in with me. She gets into everything! Oh well, I love her anyway. I'm really happy today, can ya tell?

Steve and Lisa came home at lunchtime with a huge amount of chinese takeaways, offered me some.... and I said "NO".. and watched them eat it in front of me.... felt really good about that.

Here's my secret weapon on binges.... after the gym I am going to have 1 of these protein bars, it's supposed to stop the hunger hitting... and I do love them! I have a protein shake (Sculpt) but it's YUK. So, that's part of my new eating plan....

It's been a quiet afternoon and evening, as far as it goes in this bloody house with the kids yelling, husband yelling... teenagers coming and going...and me hiding behind my computer! hee hee

I am looking forward to the weekend, we always get so much done.... and I love saturdays the most! Might go for another bush walk on sunday... we will see. nite nite !

BLOODY BLOGGER !

I have done a lot of thinking today.... I am petrified of gaining any more weight, and really scared that I was losing the plot permanently.... and I AM NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN !
So, I've decided to :

- Plan my day's meals the evening before, and stick to it.
- Have no sweet foods/treats/snacks except on saturday
- Have no food after 7.30 pm, no matter what
- Stay within my points (Derrrr)
- Commit to losing 500 grms a week
- Focus on losing 5kgs, then maintain that loss for at least a fortnight before trying to lose more.

I was reading another girl's blog today and she was talking about losing 5kgs, then learn to maintain that loss before moving on to the next 5kgs.... what an awesome idea! When I was losing the 61 kgs I never learnt that step... sure I had to maintain at the end, but not during..... it was just lose, lose, lose. I obviously need to change something, so that's it.... focus on small amounts, maintain that then move on. I am feeling a bit more positive tonight, so on that note I shall say "nite, nite".

STILL WAITING...

I'm still waiting....

Until THAT starts I just know nothing good is going to happen, my food is still shit, I'm prowling around looking for food all bloody day, and I hate myself. I seem to have completely lost the plot again... I'm bloody useless.

Don't feel like going for a walk today,but I suppose I will cos Janet will be waiting for me at the gym.... looks kinda iffy out there, but the worst of the storm has gone up North, so ...I probably will. Oh Yaaaa......

What else? Am going sit down later and try and work out some mini challenges (food related) for the next 6 weeks.... not sure what yet, but need to focus on something instead of floundering around like I have been for months. I have the exercise under control, just need to get the diet sorted...any ideas?

Well, our walk was awesome! We charged up the bloody hill, was completely breathless at the top, and then Janet made me do three stints of jogging on the way back! I could have killed her, but now that I think about it.... it was great! Haven't given any thought to my challenges yet.... still recovering from the walk!
later...

Ok, I'm in a foul mood, call it PMT if you want, any excuse will do... I havn't worked on my challenges, I've just sat here all afternoon wallowing in it....I had an evil lunch, won't even go there.... that made me feel even worse (like I knew it would ! ), and now Mike has decided he wants to quit 7th Form at school and go to University next semester.... fuck, why couldn't he have decided this a few weeks ago, before we spent $280 on new school uniform for him??? I could bitch slap him , really I could!











NEED I SAY MORE ???

And here's Mike and Griffin eating a bowl full of cherrio Sausages an hour before dinner, which is delicious Lamb Chops done in a casserole with veges... humpf ! Why do I bother?

TIE DOWN YOUR TRAMPOLINES !

According to the Weatherman, we need to tie down our trampolines, cos severe rain and wind is heading our way ! OH JOY ! Now, as you know, I love walking in the rain, but torrential rain and winds? NO !

Marshmellow: wear a cap with a large peak, it keeps the rain off ya glasses ! Unless the rain is horizontal anyway!

So, today I think we will be driving to school, and driving to the gym in me trusty van... it really is very very wet out there! Tis good for the gardens and farmers I'm sure.

Woke up this morning wondering if TOM is ever going to arrive.... I have all the "symptoms" of impending TOM, but no sign... shit damn and blast... I'm sick of bloody sore boobs! And puffy face etc. And an appetite that won't stop... put food in front of me right now and I will eat it... the family is really lucky I don't get PMT cos I'm sure I could throttle someone every month, given a good excuse.. ha ha ha. later....

Well, RPM was awesome again, and I have a sore fanny - again. I'm hoping I get used to it soon, cos I'm doing it again on Sunday morning.
Had a sauna at the gym after my workout... man you meet some weird and wonderful people in a sauna... one woman who is at least 60 comes in, drops her towel and sits there completely naked! And some of the conversations are pretty interesting... todays' was mostly about the new law about to be passed on 'ANTI SMACKING'.... now while I would never advocate beating your child, I can see nothing wrong with a smack on the hand or bum when it is warranted... so I suppose that is going to make me a criminal real soon.... hmmmm. I hope the government is going to boost the police budget by millions and millions cos they are going to need it to prosecute all of us parents who smack our children. I just don't get how they are going to 'police' this new law, and how are they going to know if a kid is telling the truth about being smacked or if the kid is just being vindictive/mean/manipulative ??? What is this country going to do next??? FUCK IT'S BEYOND ME.

WOW, we have torrential rain and thunder is rolling around and it's bloody freezing....because we live so close to the school I am going to walk to get the kids (with umbrellas), we would get just as wet getting in and out of the car as we would just walking, so here goes....

A picture of two wee girls today... that was us this afternoon! Brylee got really scared cos her umbrella flipped over and dragged her backwards, poor kid was petrified! It is really really hairy out there today... Mike went on a train trip down to Wellington today, hope there is no holdups on the line due to this shitty weather!...

Didn't go to gym tonight, feel like shit.... am positive TOM is imminent... gunna curl up with a blankie and watch TV... nite nite.