Wednesday, October 07, 2015

DAY ONE..AND BLOGS GONE PRIVATE FOR A WHILE

And the countdown begins!
60 days or so from now, Tallulah will have puppies!
Which means early December.

Yep, we will have puppies over Christmas, and they will be ready for new homes at the end of January... perfect timing.

People can go on holiday over summer, then come home and get a new puppy!

Let's hope it works out like that.  

Until then, I have plenty to do.  Come up with names for the pups... hmmmm.... I was thinking of tree names of boys and flower names for girls.  But there's plenty of time to change my mind.  Any suggestions welcomed.

Today I'm grooming/bathing Tallulah.  She smells ikkkk.   Being in season and then having Mac visit ... yeah... ikkkk.  

Not sure what else we will get up to.  I might get the kids to take Coco for a nice big walk.  Obviously Tallulah is still in seclusion... she could get jumped by any boy dog if she's out in public and we can't have that!

We want our pups to all be from Mac.  They will be purebreed Shih Tzu pups. (no papers)

You will have to get used to talk about puppies soon!  60 days... not that long!

Right, I shall bugger off and get some washing done and hung out... I did some yesterday and whoops!  It's still in the washing machine, I forgot about it.  *sigh*  I'm sure I'm not the only person who does that though.

ONWARD...

I should have stayed in bed today.  Another down day.  Need to STOP thinking about shit I can't change and move on.

Christmas is coming.... another one without half my family.  And this is the way it will be forever I suppose.  Hard to reconcile with that.

How do you come to terms with that without getting depressed ... over and over again?  It's a daily thing.  

OH and I need to stop using my phone.  It's not a good thing to use ... then regret. 

Had 'words' with Amanda over Lacy/Keera/Foster Parent.  Seems they are all in cohoots and agree... Keera is best off NOT with me!  Cutting them from my life, which includes them NOT being able to read what's going on in MY LIFE on here for now. 

My blog will remain the same... just not read by them.  


Isn't it VERY INTERESTING that someone is prepared to say so much in a TEXT, but to your face?  Nothing.   I told Amanda I didn't want to discuss anything via texts anymore, as so much can be misconstrued, misinterpreted and I would rather have a phone call and talk in person from now on.  Her response?

"What, and be yelled at?  No thanks.  You made your bed, now you can sleep in it.  End of Story. Bye."

Now as we haven't had a phone conversation in probably 2.5 years, I really don't know what she's on about!  She's just too GUTLESS to say anything to my face, or be nasty to my face.  Words are so EASY in a text eh?  You can fire them off and not actually have to see the hurt you inflict.

Same with her Facebook account... she slags me off all the time, but to my face?  Oh no, lies, lies, lies.  

I've been guilty of it myself... OF COURSE... but from now on I'm backing off.  Enough is enough.  They can rot in hell.

7.42 pm:  I text Lacy this morning, a very short text... just "How is Keera?"... I got back:  "FUCK OFF, leave me and my daughter alone... FUCK OFF!!!!!".

And now I've had 4 texts in a row telling me how Keera is, how she is fully potty trained now, no longer having a dummy (pacifier) etc etc... bla bla bla.  I've been very polite but circumspect in my response.  Just said.. "That's good to hear". 

I'm not doing or saying a bloody thing that can come back and bite me on the arse... or get me abused over.

End of Day:  an upsetting day.  I really should NOT try and contact either of those 'daughters' again if I don't want a repeat of today!  Lesson learnt... I HOPE. Stew is always telling me off for contacting them and/or setting them off at me.  I really SHOULD listen to him.
nite nite

27 comments:

  1. We do that all the time in our house with the washing, ALL THE TIME! I'm sure you don't do it every week like we do ;-) Will it be easy enough to move the puppies if you sell the house in the middle of all of that? What would be ideal of course is that the house gets sold before she is due. I'm sure you have that all planned. I just have no experience with moving one pet let alone puppies!

    Hope you have another good day today - my sister in law and I are going bra shopping at the Bendon Outlet Shop here in Melbourne - should be fun. Penny xo

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  2. And I wasn't going to say it but I will because David just said it too - Tallulah is going to beat me and I am 15 weeks today! It is quite odd to think about human versus animal babies... although I am glad I am only having one!

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    1. It is amazing to think she can produce pups after just 60 odd days! Human babies take longer of course cos we are more complex creatures! Well done on hitting 15 weeks... and happy bra shopping. Moving with puppies... trying not to think about it too much... in case we ain't moving at that time anyway.

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  3. Oh crap - thanks for reminding me, I have a load of towels in the washing machine I totally forgot about!!!!

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  4. Enjoy the fact that you have to buy less presents and make less food & house less people over Christmas, make it as fun and relaxing as possible for those who are there and don't dwell on those being twats.

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  5. It's not easy. I've been where you are and then in July I had a heart attack. All ok now but funnily enough that event put things into perspective for me. We owe it to ourselves to live the best life we can and for our partner. The rest can stand in line, including 90 yr old mothers, children and grandchildren . It's not easy but it's their journey and as much as we want to we can't change that. Focus on you and when you want to phone go for a walk. Stop the self talk. I found that hard. I mean the what ifs. Best wishes from me.

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    1. I agree in my head, but my heart keeps trying to reach out in all the wrong ways. I end up making things worse. I know what I have to do ... just hard doing it. Letting go is what's best for me though, I know that. I can't keep trying to make things better. I'm sorry you had a heart attack! so glad you made it through the other side ... {{{HUGS}}}

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  6. Hugs Chris, I know from a step parent perspective how hard it can be, so kudos to you as the parent trying to make it work. Feel for you, but seriously look after yourself. Gary has said to tell you they always come back, it may be a bit of time in between and you will not forget them, but they come back. Its happened with his son after 5 years (sorry, it was a bit of time here) but we have a fabulous time/relationship with them now. So everything crossed for you, and loads of hugs and love from us both. xx

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  7. I under stand your pain Christmas and "family" times r when it hurts the most. I guess cause I havmt been so well lately but I have been thinking about my funeral and don't even know if I even want Anthony to no I died. At least that way I know he won't hurt me by not bothering to come to my funeral. How it would hurt me if I am having a funeral begs questioning but that is after all how crazy disfunctional family life is. Hugs Hun

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  8. So sorry to hear this. I am getting to the point (for the first time in my life) of not knowing what to do about the now 17 year old kid. How much to tamper and meddle, how much to let him be, I only have one kid and he is interesting! I certainly have no answers, But I do hope you can work it out. It just seems obvios that families should stick together - but then the kids can have an entirely different opinion it seems. I am sure Tallujah will be just fine with the pups. Worst case scenario you through her and some pups in a crate for an hour or two until you can get them to their new home, where knowing you, their new spot will be ready and waiting for them. TAke care Diet Coke! I am thinking of you!

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  9. We have virtually cut off D's family. There are so many births and weddings that we have not been notified of. (17 I think, births and 3 weddings). So much bitching and carry on etc. One bil wont even speak which makes it really hard to organise an estate. Sure our kids missed out so much with no contact, but now they can see why.
    D's sisters will not be notified of his death as per his wishes. When you can let go you will be so much better off.
    best thing I heard was from a shrink who said 'Dont worry about the things you cant change". I stop and think of that line every so often and it really helps me

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    1. But don't you feel SAD? Maybe it's different when it's your own kids that are hurting you? I know I'm either sad or angry. Not much in between.

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    2. Its been over 20 years now so occasionally I do feel sad but soon get over that when I think about all the visits that we made to them over the last 30 years that have never been returned. His mother would come to our town to visit her sister who lived around the corner and make no effort to visit us. She then had a go at D because she wasnt invited for lunch !

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  10. Kids know how to push all your buttons. Obviously you were good enough to raise Lacy's 1st 2 kids. You said this would happen and now it has.

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  11. I have a sister that has done that to me, cut me out of her life... and now convinced my parents of her story. Nothing said to my face, but pretty obvious when they live 5mins down the road with no contact for months and months. I don't retaliate, not because I don't want to, but the mere fact of me living a happy life without them all and not being affected by their snobbery will be driving them crazy

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    1. And yes it makes me sad (about my parents especially) but it's too painful to spend too much time wishing for anything else

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    2. It sucks that family have the power to hurt us without a conscience.

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  12. Can understand - going through a bit of a rough patch too - and totally get the feeling of either being sad - or angry:-(

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  13. Chin up chick....thinking of you x

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  14. OMG lacys mirning trxt response is absoluteky disgusting. So mean and huryful. How dare she.. dear Chris so very unfair and cruel you do onit deserve sny of this. Xx

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  15. I can understand why you never "learn" and keep reaching out to them.... how could you not. Just awful how they treat you. You deserve more, not only as their mum but as a human being.

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  16. Puppies!!!!! Can't wait for the cuteness!!! I'm so sorry for all you're going through ...you are a kind and generous person and a fantastic mother! I hope someday they realize that! "Be kind to your mother, for you'll never have another!"

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  17. Cannot wait for the puppies!!!!!
    THose daughters of yours need a bomb under them, how you cope with it I don't know! xx Hang in there!

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  18. How can you make it so they can't read your blog? Curious to know this :) I'm sorry it's turned out like this.

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    1. My blog is now private. Only invited people can read it.

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  19. Family can be strange, over the years mine and hubbys has strayed and stretched and split, for some instances there are valid reasons, others seem to be fueled by greed hatred and jealousy and then there are those that remain a complete mystery :/ if theres one thing i can take away from it all its that the one constant is me and the hubby, no one else can be relied upon, we have each other and the kids thats it period! My eldest son (now 19) said to me 18 odd months ago "mum, never expect anything, never even assume that others will treat you with decency as you do them, to assume or expect will do nothing more than set you up for disappointment" wise words for a young lad.

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  20. Please take care of yourself, Chris. They do know how to get to you and they use that in the worst way. Wish I knew what the payoff is for them in wanting to bring you down. Focus on yourself for now and the family that treats you with the respect you deserve.

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