Monday, November 29, 2010

TOTALLY LOST MY TEMPER

Yesterday morning I totally lost my temper with Brylee.

She has been slowly driving me completely nuts with her behaviour, both at school and at home.
She has this attitude ... like she can do exactly what she wants, never mind that she's not ALLOWED TO... We are constantly having to put her in 'Time Out' or sending her to bed right after dinner as punishment.

Well, it obviously IS NOT WORKING, as she is still being a right little bitch.  So... I took her into her room and told her that there was NO SANTA CLAUS, That in fact I was the one who bought all the Christmas presents... and if she didn't buck up her ideas and stop being so disobedient I would NOT  be buying her anything!

Did it look like she cared?  NOPE, she just stared at me and smirked.  

Boy oh boy is she gunna be sorry on Christmas morning.

CONSEQUENCES.  (Opinions welcome)

Today Kelly, Rena and I will do some housework then maybe go to the mall for lunch and a look around.

video

ABOVE:  a little video of Rena in the 'naughty corner' after drawing on my carpet with lipstick...(which was actually Brylee's fault as she had put Rena in a bedroom and left her there).   I have not got it out yet.... not sure what approach to take ... and I don't want to spread it or set it.  Any ideas???

Kelly and I (and Rena) went out this morning and bought two different types of Carpet Cleaners... Cavalier and some other one.... will be giving it another go this afternoon...hoping it works!

Also got a few card making supplies... Kelly has been great helping make bits and bobs for the cards too.  I am going to get Brylee helping me too... as suggested...some Mum/Daughter time, just the two of us.

AND Yes, I have tried to ignore the 'unwanted' behaviour, and be positive with her.  To no avail.   Some behaviours you just cannot ignore... and the school certainly isn't ignoring it!


ABOVE:  waiting.... waiting  for the Cavalier Bremworth Carpet Stain Remover to dry.....

End of Day:  lots of ideas from you girls... thanks for that!  I am going to try and do a 'combo' of things... more one on one time with her.... BUT also try a different form of 'punishment' when she is acting up... like take some of her 'stuff' away and she has to earn it back?  But knowing her, she won't give a shit.  Time will tell. 

It's been a stinking hot, muggy day today, no wind to speak of either.... so now I have a rotten headache!   Going to bed!  nite nite.

37 comments:

  1. oh Chris wow I so feel for you girl no suggestions other than if u do wring her neck do it well so u at least get a good rest when they lock ya up sorry girl i really dnt know what u can do

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  2. omg, Rena is PRECIOUS! I would not be able to stay angry!
    No idea on what would work to take the stain out ....maybe a carpet steamer?
    Stick to your guns with Brylee ....hopefully she'll turn around!

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  3. Oh my god naughty brylee we did that with geoffrey one year my brother gave him a pumpkin for christmas he spat the dummy big time and throw it out the window sounds like she you gonna have heaps more trouble with her as she hits her teens.
    as for tyer carpet i googled this for you hope it helps

    if the spot is fresh, it is important to clean it right away. Start by carefully scraping up excess lipstick with a plastic knife out of the carpet. To avoid spreading the stain out, work from the edges to the center. Do not rub or scrub the stain or you will just spread it more.

    f you have Goo Gone cleaner, great, if not, it might be worth a trip to your local hardware store to get it. Goo Gone is by far the best cleaner to use for lipstick (and other greasy) stain removal.

    Apply some Goo Gone to a rag or paper towel and carefully dab the lipstick stain. Remember to work from the outside in, so that you don't spread the stain further. As lipstick transfers onto your rag, switch to using a clean section of it. It might take a while, but it should work.

    If you don't have Goo Gone and don't feel like going to buy it, you can try some other household chemicals. Nail polish remover, rubbing alcohol, hairspray, petroleum jelly, even baby wipes - all can work on a lipstick stain. Test an inconspicuous area of the carpet using the household chemical of your choice for colorfastness though. If the test is successful, repeat step 2 with that chemical.

    to finish, prepare a detergent solution: a squirt of dish soap into a cup of water will do. Pour some of it onto a cleaning rag and gently work the spot from the edges to the center. Follow with clear water instead of soap, and then blot the area with paper towels.

    if, after rinsing, the stain is still there, repeat steps 2-4. Hopefully it will work. If not, you may want to consult a professional cleaner.
    Good luck!

    Read more: How to Get Lipstick Out of Your Carpet | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4907400_lipstick-out-carpet.html#ixzz16bO2j212

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  4. My 8 year old granddaughter has that exact same attitude and sometimes adds a 14 year old mouth to it. I'll be glad to hear the suggestions you get. She gets punished constantly, and has been made to miss things she wants to do, but nothing helps.

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  5. My 5 year old granddaughter has tore paint off her aunt's bathroom walls (my other daughter), and her own mother's wall paper in the past week! She has colored on the brand new deck outside, and on other walls. Sigh...my poor daughter doesn't know what to do either! I'll be interested to know what you come up with. I do know a rug will go over the spot, and she will grow up...and she is cute! My granddaugher when she was 3 took markers and colored my mother's beautiful flower basket quilt she had made me...a queen size quilt all hand quilted!!!!!! My punishment...this DG will inherit this quilt from me! LOL

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  6. Anonymous8:18 AM

    Instructions

    1.
    1

    Get an old rag that you don't mind losing. Squirt some Goo Gone onto the rag and start dabbing on the lipstick spot. Rub gently without spreading the lipstick out any further. Use another piece of the rag and rub some more. Keep turning the rag when it becomes full of color. Rub down into any fibers that may still be covered with lipstick.
    2.
    2

    Try dry cleaning fluid or lighter fluid if you don't have any Goo Gone. They don't smell as nice, but can serve the purpose. Blot and gently rub using the same techniques.
    3.
    3

    Start cleaning the spot as soon as you notice it. The longer the dye sets on the carpet, the better chance it has to dry and stain the spot permanently.
    4.
    4

    Mix ¼ cup dish soap with a few capfuls of Woolite or another fine fabric cleaner in a gallon of warm water and begin blotting with another clean rag. You may have some residue from the solvents and the soap can lift out the rest of the lipstick.
    5.
    5

    Blot out any residue with a clean wet cloth so that any remaining dye will not settle. Let the soap dry and vacuum the dried soap.

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  7. Anonymous8:46 AM

    I feel for you chris re brylee lil witch but have no solutions just keep on trying with her hugs to you

    donna @ work :)

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  8. I think you should call a carpet cleaning company, they should know how to get it out. Might cost a bit but cheaper than new carpet!

    Say "pardon me". ::snicker:: too funny!

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  9. The best thing for lipstick is Cavalier Bremworth carpet stain remover. It is in a spray can - sort of rusty orange colour. You spray it on the marks leave a minute then vacuum. Continue until the marks are all gone. Usually gone first time but I find things like eye pencil (black) take a few gos.

    About Brylee - now don't think I'm trying to tell you what to do but for sure, she is trying to get attention. Just a question... do you do stuff with just her? Like just shopping with her or a walk with just her etc. I mean Stew can do things with Griffin and I know girls - especially her age - would love more special time with Mum.

    What I'm saying is instead of constant punishment, could you try attention to give her time to open up to you etc. I always did this with my daughter and actually still do! Good luck.

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  10. I think the lipstick is a job for the prefessionals, they know how to target various stains.

    Brylee - well she probably knew about Santa Claus anyway so maybe that's why the smirk. Also does she think your bark is wrose than your bite, making the threats but in the end she knows you won't actually do that to her? No idea what you can do though, just keep setting the boundaries and enforcing them with her. Good luck!

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  11. Oh and the reason the Cavalier carpet remover works (make sure it is the one for dry stains) is because there is no rubbing at all and when you spray, it lifts the crayon or lipstick or whatever. I use this stuff all the time and it is like a miracle. Escpecially the time I had black grease trampled through the house!

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  12. Ugh, i'm so sorry. I can't tell you how happy I am that I didn't have girls...no kidding.

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  13. Lots of hugs for you. [[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]

    This is tough especially as I don't really know Brylee.

    Bad behaviour to this degree suggests she is seeking attention, the wrong kind, She's trying to prove just how awful she is. If this is so it usually stems from a deeply hidden sense of rejection. People with this will deliberately do stuff that causes them to be 'rejected' over and over.

    I don't know anything in the school, psychological thinking that deals with this because it is deep in the spirit.

    My suggestion for what it's worth is to begin slowly with a determined plan of action to develop a girly, mother/daughter relationship. Don't expect instant results but begin doing things, just you and Brylee. It might be hard at first and you will wonder if it's going to work and it might take a long time to see results but if you persist I think you'll see the behaviour changes you're looking for.

    Don't go overboard. Just think of something you can do by spending 20 or 30 minutes together without any other member of the family.

    Don't say anything about her behaviour. Go with an attitude of unconditional love, which you have for her and let the minutes unfold. If she sulks let her but continue with what you planned. It could be as simple as going for an icecream together but be sure there is no other task on the agenda other than time with Brylee.

    I hope I have helped but not knowing what has already been suggested through school this was a hard one.

    Blessings and love coming your way. And don't feel too bad about losing your temper. She needed to know how much you care and how angry her behaviour is making you.

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  14. I googled the carpet cleaning also:
    The first thing you need to know is, what to do if you’re not able to remove the stain right away. Carefully pour a tiny bit of club soda on the stain; this will prevent the lipstick from setting in. Please keep in mind that you don’t want to soak your carpet. You will need to use your own good judgment on how much club soda to pour. Keeping this in mind, you also don’t want to let it go too long without treating it. The carpet may mold from the moisture of the club soda.


    Please keep in mind that with any of these techniques, never scrub or rub the lipstick; only dab. This is very important. Rubbing will grind the lipstick even deeper into your carpet, as well as spread the stain around.
    To start, take a scraper of some sort (a butter knife or a spoon will do) and carefully scrape up any excess lipstick, working from the outside of the stain towards the center to keep from spreading the lipstick around even more.

    The first thing you need to do is pre-treat the stain. There are a number of ways you can do this. Take a soft paper towel or cotton ball and apply one of the following to it: hairspray, rubbing alcohol, castile soap, petroleum jelly, or toothpaste. Gently dab the stain (remember not to rub!) with the paper towel, making sure to always dab with a clean section of the paper towel or cotton ball.

    Next, apply some sort of cleaner to the stain. This could include one of the following: carpet cleaner, ammonia (never mix ammonia with bleach), vinegar diluted with water, or even laundry detergent diluted with water. Take some clean paper towels, and press a clean section repeatedly over the stain until the paper towel is not soaking up any more lipstick. Again, remember not to rub the stain.

    Finally, take a spray bottle of plain old water and spray it over the area. Spray generously, but again, you do not want to soak your carpet. Take some clean paper towels and press over the area until most of the moisture has been absorbed.

    These techniques should work on most carpets. If the stain remains, feel free to repeat the above process. If that doesn’t work, you may want check around for professional cleaners. If you can’t fork over the money and it really bothers you, you may want to find a small table, an indoor potted tree or a small rug to cover up the stain.

    As for Brylee - no idea I am afraid, I have my problems with a temperamental thieving 13 year old boy so am not really in a position to give parenting advice. Hopefully she will get over herself.

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  15. Carpet cleaning:
    The first thing you need to know is, what to do if you’re not able to remove the stain right away. Carefully pour a tiny bit of club soda on the stain; this will prevent the lipstick from setting in. Please keep in mind that you don’t want to soak your carpet. You will need to use your own good judgment on how much club soda to pour. Keeping this in mind, you also don’t want to let it go too long without treating it. The carpet may mold from the moisture of the club soda.


    Please keep in mind that with any of these techniques, never scrub or rub the lipstick; only dab. This is very important. Rubbing will grind the lipstick even deeper into your carpet, as well as spread the stain around.
    To start, take a scraper of some sort (a butter knife or a spoon will do) and carefully scrape up any excess lipstick, working from the outside of the stain towards the center to keep from spreading the lipstick around even more.

    The first thing you need to do is pre-treat the stain. There are a number of ways you can do this. Take a soft paper towel or cotton ball and apply one of the following to it: hairspray, rubbing alcohol, castile soap, petroleum jelly, or toothpaste. Gently dab the stain (remember not to rub!) with the paper towel, making sure to always dab with a clean section of the paper towel or cotton ball.

    Next, apply some sort of cleaner to the stain. This could include one of the following: carpet cleaner, ammonia (never mix ammonia with bleach), vinegar diluted with water, or even laundry detergent diluted with water. Take some clean paper towels, and press a clean section repeatedly over the stain until the paper towel is not soaking up any more lipstick. Again, remember not to rub the stain.

    Finally, take a spray bottle of plain old water and spray it over the area. Spray generously, but again, you do not want to soak your carpet. Take some clean paper towels and press over the area until most of the moisture has been absorbed.

    These techniques should work on most carpets. If the stain remains, feel free to repeat the above process. If that doesn’t work, you may want check around for professional cleaners. If you can’t fork over the money and it really bothers you, you may want to find a small table, an indoor potted tree or a small rug to cover up the stain.

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  16. Too cute. Good luck with the carpet. I use the same cleaner as Lynda and it is awesome.

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  17. I agree with Daniela... so glad I had two boys!

    Good luck with everything! xxx

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  18. Oh my gosh poor Rena your poor CARPET, I have no advice for Lipstick I dont wear any and have never been in that situation, as for Brylee WHAT I want to say is way way harsher than anyone has posted (and no it is not physical violence).

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  19. I love what MargieAnne said!! Sort of what I was trying to say. Give total attention with no expectation or other hidden agenda. I have always found that praising the positives and rewarding for these (with special time especially) is far more productive that punishing the negatives. If she feels rejected and is seeking attention for this then it will only spiral down. Pick your battles, have consequences when she is naughty but give her a chance to be praised also.

    Everyone responds to praise and attention.

    How's the carpet going? Don't scrub it whatever you do!

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  20. I feel like a few others have said that she is attention seeking and any attention is good attention to kids. Spend some one on one with her and I would take the time with her away from the house, so there is no distractions like the phone ringing, Griffin if he is about etc etc.... some of the things I did with Steph, was go shopping, out for lunch, a walk at the beach. Also if it is just you two, she will get your undivided attention. Doing cards with her would also be great but I still think she needs just special time with you and her maybe once a week, going out and doing stuff, maybe let her choose the outing or take turns. Good luck.

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  21. Wow, you're surely going thru' a tough time with Brylee. You know with some kids, punishment just doesn't work. If you are really desperate, try this. Don't punish her when you're angry. Do it when both of you are calm. (I know, easier said than done) Withdraw a privilege as punishment. Point out behaviour you like when she's behaving. Reward it. Don't give bad behaviour any attention unless it hurts someone. Good luck.

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  22. Everyone has given you such good advice, so all I can say is to take care of yourself, talk with Stew, and present a united front. You may need some support from Stew so involve him is this.

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  23. You vacuum it up as soon as the edges go white... don't wait for it all to dry :) Do it a few times too, I think it will need it.

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  24. Chris, there could be something in what a couple of ladies have posted here. Griffin does get extra atention because of his learning difficulties. Maybe somehow Brylee feels she is missing out on something,You could try the approach of making her feel special, one to one, Ask her to come into the Garage with you when stew is home, maybe Stew could play a game or something with Griffin and Brylee could help you with your craft work. I once saw a Doctor Phill show and he advised a harder approach, which was 3 warnings and then take one special item away from her each time she reached the 3 warning limit. I would not myself take a favourite Teddy or anything like that, you know her fave things so you could just use you judgement. To one family Dr Phill told them to take everything from the child concerned. I don't know if I could do that.

    All the best, I really hope you can get somewhere with Brylee and her behaviour, it is very hard and makes family life difficult.

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  25. I have no advice just wishing you luck.

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  26. Oh I feel for you re Brylee, thinking back to my almost 20 year old she sounds just like her, I think after being a pre school teacher for over 10 years that childrens attitudes are becoming worse and there is not a lot we can do because the minute we lose the plot and do something we never meant to do we have CYFS on our doorstep and it all becomes a nightmare. Hang in there and make sure everyone is on the same page. :)

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  27. My opinion is that whatever you say you are going to do Chris is what you have to do...never say you will do this or that and not do it...follow through on whatever you say...good luck...hugs Khris

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  28. Good luck with getting the lippy out of the carpet. I think I would have just rung my insurance company and have them get the professionals onto the job.

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  29. Anonymous9:57 PM

    I am also thinking get her into some sport Swimming tennis squash soccer netball whatever that she might pr might not be good at but will help her make friends winning losing and learn rules plus expend some agression & energy.
    Mary H

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  30. I know you have gone to bed... just wondering how the carpet is - di dthe stains come out?

    One more thought about Brylee - Maybe special one on one time with Stew could be good too? Whatever you do, you and Stew have to be together so she knows she can't go to one or the other for sympathy.

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  31. Wow -
    If we knew what to do with kids,
    The we would know everything!

    Best of luck with staying cool while you work out the answers!

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  32. It was cool hearing your voice! And Rena is so cute! ("That was me, farting")
    The miracle cleaning solution is WD40. But try it in an out of sight area first to make sure it doesn't hurt the carpet.
    I want to see more videos! One of the big one misbehaving?

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  33. I am sorry that you are having so much trouble with the girls. Hopefully one of the ideas above will help. It sure is a BIG drawing...you would cut it out and hang it on the wall...??? free art? Good luck! ...debbie

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  34. My mom told you about my daughter apparently, then she sent me your blog. There's a great book called "Have a New Kid By Friday" link....http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_24?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=have+a+new+kid+by+friday&sprefix=have+a+new+kid+by+friday

    I think the best book on parenting a hard to parent child.
    Good luck!
    Donna

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  35. Everyone had great ideas...I sure hope one of them works for you. I can only imagine how upset you must be about the lipstick....

    BUT- I've got to tell you that was one of the sweetest little video clips I've ever seen. Rina is adorable!

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  36. Sorry Chris! I just realized I spelled Rena's name wrong....I was still giggling from her "pardon me now..."

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  37. She acts just like my kids. All four of them. They drive us crazy all the time.

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